


Book 1: Earth - Trust Me

by jumping_jax



Series: NCT - Avatar: The Last Airbender AU [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Avatar & Benders Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, American English, Angst, Avatar the Last Airbender AU, Avatar: The Last Airbender - Freeform, Elemental Bending, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Swearing, but not really??, the ending is a little uh...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 18:25:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 80,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16603229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumping_jax/pseuds/jumping_jax
Summary: Firebending: One of the four elemental bending arts, is the pyrokinetic ability to control fire. It is the element of power, consisting of overpowering force tempered by the unflinching will to accomplish tasks and desires.Earthbending: One of the four elemental bending arts, is the geokinetic ability to manipulate earth and rock in all their various forms, prevalent in the Earth Kingdom. Earth is the element of substance, while the people of the Earth Kingdom are diverse, strong, and enduring.—————It started as a missionand ended with a twistand somewhere in between,he made friends,learned his lessons,mended old wounds,got the closure he craved,and fell in love.—————Alternatively, Renjun, crown prince of the Fire Nation is sent on a mission to find and bring home the brother he thought had died several years ago. In the unfamiliar territory of the Earth Kingdom, he befriends a boy who would guide him and heal him and, eventually, become his everything.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renjun can firebend. But his father doesn't need to know that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh welcome  
> pls enjoy your stay in this error ridden, overly complicated monster of a fic
> 
> the summary is shit sorry

“There, just like that. Give it a bit more energy now, you’re doing great!” A large shadow, true shape obscured by the layers of robes rolling down his body and pooling at his feet on the ground, crouched in a squat next to a figure half of his size. Their heads were pressed close together, hoods hanging low to hide their faces, while they kept their focus trained on what the smaller figure held in their hands as the older of the two whispered hushed encouragement and instructions.

The large, bare room with ceilings arching what would be considered several stories in another home, was lit with nothing more than a dying torch at the grand double doorway. No windows, and no furniture other than a long stone bench positioned against the wall opposite of the door. Any foreigner would look at the room and scratch their head, baffled by the seemingly uselessness of the bare room so lavishly decorated with gold ladening the walls and pillars. But the simple yet inordinate room served many purposes within the palace.

A very faint glow casted a dim light over the smaller boy’s features, illuminating the high points of his young face and wide, wonderfilled eyes reflected the small flame flickering in his cupped hands.

“Can you feel it?”

The tiny figure nodded his head, not daring to shift his gaze from the tiny flame.

“A little… it’s like a heartbeat…” the child murmured, struggling to keep the flame burning.

“Yes, that’s right. It’s color and energy and most importantly, life.”

The older shuffled closer to the little child, cupping his hands to support the tiny, trembling gingers in his own. The flame swelled as he let his energy meld with the younger’s, spitting tiny sparks into the air as it filled the both of the little boy’s palms.

“Now breathe with me,” the older instructed. The child slowly inhaled with the older and watched in amazement as the fire swelled slightly with both of their breath. The older prompted him to exhale and as they did in unison, the flame deflating slightly.

They crouched on the ground, breathing slowly and deeply, letting their energy mingle and fuel the fire.

The sound of steel toe boots clicking against the marble of the great corridors made them both jump and swivel their heads in search for the approaching guard. The flame jostled and sintalated, growing dangerously large in their panic.

The older hurriedly calmed the palpitations of his heart and the panicked rise and fall of his chest, regaining control of the flame.

“Looks like that’s all for tonight,” he said quietly. “Time to rest.”

While cupping the little boy’s outstretched hands, they slowly closed their hands around the flame together, extinguishing the light. They scurried to the secret door in the back corner, and ducked under before shuffling quickly through the halls to their joined but separate rooms.

The older boy opened his younger brother’s room and lead him in with their hands clasped tightly. He helped him dress in silence and tucked him in with a kiss on his forehead.

Even in the darkness, two wide, sparking eyes could be made out, gazing up at him. Kun fondly brushed his brother’s bangs from his face and pressed another sweet kiss on his forehead.

“You did so well for your first time, Renjun. Sleep tight.”

 

***SEVEN YEARS LATER***

 

“Have you done as I’ve asked of you, son?”

“No.”

The silence hung thick in the air making it almost unbreathable and suffocating. He could literally feel the temperature of the room rising and the glow of the wall of flames separating him from the man in the chair intensified.

“Now, why would you do that?”

“Because he’s not a bender.” The flames glowed brighter.

“Really?” His father growled through clenched teeth. “It’s been what, six years? And you still insist on _lying_  to my _face_?” His father bellowed, the flames shooting up to lick the twenty-foot tall ceiling.

“Did you think you were protecting him? Protecting him from becoming a _failure_ like you?” His father spat. He shrunk further into the kowtow, hoping the ground would swallow him whole.

“Guards, take him away and bring me the other one. Lock this one in the dungeon for discipline training. He must learn to never lie to his father.”

Guards seize his arms, roughly pulling him to his feet and led him out, down into the dark and scary dungeon. He wasn’t surprised when they bypassed the prison cells where they’d usually lock him for smaller things such as forgetting to speak formally in the presence of the chief advisors or generals. No, he already knew they'd take him the small, secluded metal box. Far away where Renjun would not hear his screams.

 

-

  
“Son.”

Renjun stood in front of his father’s throne, staring into the flames with no emotion showing on his face. Kun had taught him how to keep his face perfectly stone like, hiding everything from everyone around him. Kun had taught him so he’d never have to crawl back to his bed in the middle of the night, muffling sobs so as not to disturb anyone as blood seeped through his robes and flowed steadily down his pale arms. So that he’d never be left scarred likeKun was.

He could remember a time when he once wished to sit upon the great throne and rule over the whole nation. But that was a time before Mother passed and Father became violent and aggressive. Renjun held no memory of his mother but the stories Kun told him were enough to create a special place in his heart for her.

“Yes, Father,” he replied, keeping his voice firm but not so strong to give the wrong feeling. He got to his knees and folded over, resting his chin against his chest.

“Do you know why I have summoned for you today?”

“No, Father.”

“I’ll tell you why. Your failure of a brother has thought he would be able to lie to me for the rest of your life. Thought I would never find out about your midnight _excursions_  and _lessons_ all because he was stupid enough to think he knew best for you.”

Renjun breathed calmly, pushing down the anxiety and dread that clawed his stomach.

“You’re a bender, Renjun, correct?”

Memories played behind his eyes as he contemplated his options. Late nights sneaking around the palace, learning and perfect his bending with Kun’s help and then cuddling until dawn the next day filled him with a warmth that fire could never compare to. If he kept up Kun’s running lie, his father might believe him. If he told the truth, his father might be less angry. But maybe his father was just bluffing to get to the truth.

“Son. Answer me now.”

“Yes, Father.”

“Yes, _what_?” 

He swallowed hard. “Yes Father, I can firebend.”

The room jumped several degrees and his robes became uncomfortably warm.

“Thank you, for telling the truth, Renjun. Those who tell the truth are rewarded so I shall give you until tomorrow morning until we begin your training. Leave now.”

He got to his feet, trying to hide the shaking in his knees and kept his head down as he bowed ninety degrees before turning and walking out.

A single tear slipped from his eye before he could stop it. He huffed and exhaled loudly, letting the salty water hiss and evaporate from his skin before proceeding into his room.

 

It was well past midnight when Renjun finally gave in to the guilt and worry eating away at him. He slipped on his slippers and wrapped himself in a dark cloak before sneaking out of his room, closing it softly behind him.

He stealthily slunk through the corridors, avoided guards and servants until he reached the throne room. Shakily, he brought a hand up to the door and pushed it a open a crack. His heart was racing and he could only think of what might happen if he was caught.

The usual fire that burned between the Fire Lord and visitors was out, leaving the room pitch black. Slowly, he slipped through, carefully letting the door shut behind him.

He was halfway to the back door when the room lit up and fire licked at his face, making him freeze and his heart seize up.

“Son,” his father addressed, slowly, though the underlying displeasure was enough to make him sweat. “What are you doing up at this hour?”

When he didn’t respond, he heard his father stand, robes rustling and swishing softly as he made his way over to Renjun.

“Son. I asked you a question.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” he replied simply.

“You will address me properly and face me,” his father commanded, words clipped and disapproving.

Renjun turned and ducked his head. “Couldn’t sleep, Father.”

“And why is that?” Something told Renjun that he already knew.

“... K-kun,” he stuttered and felt the overwhelming urge to punch himself for stuttering.

There was no need to look up to tell what his father’s face looked like. Judging by the bright glow fo the fire, he’s eyes gleamed with mirth and sickening satisfaction.

“You should’ve just asked, Son. I will take you to him, but you may not speak to him, understand?”

Renjun nodded.

“I can’t hear you.”

“Yes, Father.”

“Excellent, right this way, my child.”

Renjun was lead out through the back door and down a shadowy spiral staircase. It rattled with every step, making the measly torches jostle and flicker sporadically. He steeled his nerves and focused on not feeling and blocking out thoughts that might make him disobey his father.

Guards escorted them down a narrow side hall with nothing but fire burning in their hands to light the way. As they continued walking, he could faintly hear human sounds. Sounds that were eerily similar to someone sobbing.

The closer they got, the more distinct the sound became until Renjun recognized Kun’s broken screams and cries. He wanted to run. Run away. Run away from his father and hold Kun like how he would him when they were younger and their Mother and Father would fight.

They came upon a dark, metal cell and the screams became impossible to block out. The guard bangged twice on the door before fumbling with his keys to unlock it. The sobbing quieted, like Kun had bitten down on his wrist to keep himself from crying loudly. Like how he’d do when he thought he woke Renjun when in reality, the other had heard him crying the whole time.

“Here you are, Son,” his father said. His voice echoed in the small cell, making him seem bigger than he was. The guard nudged Renjun into the cell and he stepped in, knees knocking and throat tightening.

It was dark, except for the dingy lantern hanging by the door. Two large shadows stood to the sides, fireballs and spears ready for distribution to the poor victim. But all he could see was Kun. His kind, sweet, gentle, loving Kun. Burned and bleeding. Broken and bruised.

Kun’s black, normally fluffy hair was matted with sweat and the tips were singed and crisp. His face was swollen nearly beyond recognition and his shirt had been stripped, leaving his already scarred skin exposed. The old scars were indistinguishable from the new wounds, deep cuts and scratches from being thrown around scattered over his chest and stomach, leaking more blood with each heave of his chest. Large patches of skin over his shoulders and arms were burned badly and blistering, guaranteed to leave ugly, painful scars. Renjun didn’t need to see his back to know it was worse.

“Renjun…” His voice was raw and hoarse, perhaps from screaming and crying for hours on end. Renjun’s heart clenched and his stomach twisted. This was a bad idea. He needed to talk to Kun. Kun need him to talk to him.

“Now you see, Renjun. He’s a fool. Don’t end up like him, I know you’re better than that.” His father’s words were sharp and probably hurt Kun more than the agonizing torture he’d endured. “Do you have anything to say to your brother?” He spat the word brother like a curse.

It was a trick question. He could say something to Kun and end up disobeying his father, which may cause Kun to suffer more. Or he could not and perhaps Kun’s suffering would end sooner.

“No, Father.”

The desperate, shattered look Kun gave him with tears spilling from his eyes was too much. So he looked away. He turned his back on his brother. On the boy who’d loved him all his life and had never been anything but kind. On the boy who helped him sleep at night and not have to learn lessons the hard way like he did. On the one person who mattered in his life.

Kun’s cries plagued his mind and haunted his dreams for the rest of the night. When he woke the next morning, he had a decent enough mind to beg his father to let him talk to Kun. But when he snuck down to the dungeon before training, the cell was empty except for dried blood and a torn shirt.

He never saw Kun after that night. Every following nigh he found himself tightly curled up on his bed, blinking through fat, salty tears searching for the familiar shadow of his brother retuning from the dungeon for a whole year.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lost and found, in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a little all over the place im so sorry, im still developing my skillz ajsjdfakj  
> characterization also gets a bit patchy, terribly sorry about that

“Your honor, we’ve located him.”

“Where?” His voice rose along with the, now sweltering, heat of the room.

“I-In the Earth Kingdom. H-he was spotted at a market, you honor.” Beads of sweat rolled down the servant's forehead and darkened the heavy, silk robes draped over trembling shoulders. 

“Hmmm... I see. Are they positive? It’s been… it’s been six years.”

“Y-yes, your honor.”

Silence stretched out and the crackle and spitting of flames filled the great hall.

“You’re dismissed. Send my top generals and admirals. And notify Renjun that his final mission is fast approaching.”

“O-of course, your honor.”

\------

“Prince Renjun,” the servant called from the other side of the door. “I have a message from your father.”

A tired sigh left his lips. Renjun peeled his eyelids open and slowly fell from the blissfully numbing void of sleep back into the harsh reality of his life. Granted, he was more privileged than anyone else in the fire nation and many would call him ungrateful and spoiled if he ever expressed his true displeasure with his life, but they didn’t know about what happened behind closed doors. They didn't know about the soul sucking, rigorous training he was put through all day and night on top of keeping up with his studies. Or the scathing words spat down upon him at the slightest mess up. 

He sat up in bed, breathing deeply to clear the sleepy haze that clouded his mind and padded over to the door, opening it to find the servant in a deep bow, waiting for him.

“Lay, it’s just me. No need to break your back every time you come to talk to me.”

“It’s your father’s orders, I don’t make the rules around here, sir” the older man shrugged but straightened up anyway to look the boy in the eye, something not normally permitted among servants and members of the royal family. “He instructed me to alert you that your final mission is coming up, and that you should begin to prepare yourself for anything.”

Renjun sighed and walked back to his bed, picking up his comb from the nightstand and began to get ready.

“Is he expecting me early this morning?”

“No, sir. He’s meeting with his generals and admirals so you have time to eat breakfast. I’ll send a maid down with your meal. I hope you have a good day, Prince Renjun.”

He waved goodbye to the servant, continuing to prepare for the day. He had passed his final firebending examination a few days before and was ready for the next step to becoming the Fire Lord. It was what he’d dreamed of from a young age, though it was no longer what he wanted. A single night had changed that and erased any trace of love or respect for his father. It wasn’t a night he thought off in detail often.

He left his room and made his way down the long halls. Contrary to popular belief, living in a gigantic palace is no fun. There are a plethora of rules to prevent anarchy within the grand walls and guards lurk at every corner, monitoring all activity. 

He made it out to the courtyard and strolled between the small, tranquil ponds preening with koi fish and turtleducks. The little ducklings were just hatching at this time during the spring, which indicated that summer was underway.

A tiny, fluffy duckling bobbed over to the edge and hopped out, waddling close to Renjun. The little turtle shell that sat on its back was a pretty, black speckled, olive green shell that shone in the early morning sun.

He brushed it aside with his foot, letting it topple over, back into the pond with a strangled quack and loud splash. He continued on his way, uncharacteristically irritated by the minor disturbance. Perhaps the prospect of meeting with his father later had put him off.

He reached the other side and stepped through the gold framed doors, circling back around to his room where a hot breakfast waited for him. He ate alone, allowing himself to admire the new decoration of a gold sculpted dragon’s head resting on his desk. He'd just acquired it, symbolizing his mastery of the element. 

He finished up and headed out to the practice rooms, hoping to get a little bit of work in for the day. He had time to kill.

As he passed the throne room, a guard stopped him and directed him through the doors.

Odd. His father rarely called spontaneous meetings. Lay had said his father was meeting with his officers and such for the morning.

He'd barely entered when his father's deep, booming voice shook the huge room and everything in it. 

“Son. I’ve been meaning to speak with you about this for a while now.” His father never wasted time with pleasantries. His reasoning had always been because the longer he waited, the farther the world, and everything in it, strayed from his grasp.

Renjun got to his knees and folded over into a kowtow without a word. Never speak unless spoken to. He’d learned to engrave that into his bones from before he could even remember.

“Your training has progressed greatly since you’ve been exposed to the unlimited resources I have to offer for you,” his father began, “and I’d be surprised if you were to say you’re unhappy with your life,” - Renjun forced the bitterness rising in his throat back down - “but I must admit that I’ve been keeping you in the dark about one particular matter. You do remember Kun, right?”

His heart stuttered before taking off in a beating erratically in his chest, sending the blood draining from his face. He hadn’t heard his father even reference his brother after that one night, let alone speak his name out loud. Cold dread seized his gut. This couldn’t be good.

“Son, please control yourself,” his father snarled before Renjun could notice the heat rolling off of his body in strong waves. “I know you remember him. You believe he died in that cell? Don’t you?”

Renjun swallowed thickly, concentrating more on sucking what little air he could into his collapsing lungs. “Yes Father.”

“Mmm. He didn’t die. In fact, he’s still alive.”

What.

Renjun’s heart was racing, the sound of his own shallow breaths and saliva being forced down his throat in nervous gulps overwhelmed his senses.

That couldn’t be true. Kun _died_ that night. That was the only thing that had helped Renjun sleep. The knowledge that Kun was resting in peace, no longer subjected to the tortuous beatings generously dealt out by the guards under their father's orders for the smallest of steps out of place.

“He ran away after _you_ broke him. And now, I’m sending you to find him, and bring him back.”

WHAT. Thoughts hurled through his head and clashed, his feelings whirled together until he couldn’t even distinguish how he truly felt, overwhelming his defenses. It really had been all his fault and now Kun was out in the world, alone, hating Renjun with every fiber of his being.

“Father, I never knew he was still alive h-how can I find him? How can you expect me to be able to bring him back?” He tried to fight down the flood of thoughts and memories and focus on the important thing: his task. He pushed down  the rising bubble of sentiment and steeled his nerves. Emotions overcomplicated everything in life.

“Because Renjun, I have faith in you. I believe that you won’t disappoint me as he did. I know that you can do it.” Robes brushed the ground and the soft steps of his father’s shoes drew nearer as he approached. Renjun could only assume that other fathers would encourage their sons and reassure them before they went off to war or on a long journey, but his father's words, though sweet, sounded more threatening than anything else. 

He stopped with the tips of his shoes at the edge of Renjun's peripheral vision, power and heat beating down on his son's small figure. 

“My son, look me in the eye,” he commanded. Renjun lifted his head, meeting his father’s eyes for the first time in years. Maybe the first time in his life.

“This is your final mission. Bring him home. Use _any_  force necessary.”Renjun could only nod weakly.

“Excellent. You will be deployed in his general vicinity tomorrow morning. Do _not_ fail me.”

Looking into his father’s eyes made it so much harder for him to hold back his tears and control his expression. The intensity of his gaze burning through time and space sucked the strength out of him and left him vulnerable. Like a turtleduck flipped over onto it’s back. It was the first time he realized how helpless he truly was when it came to his father's orders. 

He could only swallow the dozens of questions on the top of his tongue and bow his head.

”Yes, Father.”

 

 

The sun warmed his skin and hair, a much welcomed feeling, and the dry winds of the grasslands whipped through his newly acquired outfit.

The fine, red fabrics of his short sleeves fluttered as he plodded forward, intent on completing his mission. The robes he wore now were much more casual than what he often wore at the castle, but these were meant to give the impression of a well paid merchant. Perhaps even a businessman of some sort. Intended to forage the appearance of someone with an occupation worth respecting upon sight.

It was still distinctly fire nation, which worried him a bit. Tensions were climbing between the nations and the Fire Nation hadn’t exactly been friendly recently towards the Earth Kingdom.

It’s must’ve been hours after plodding aimlessly through the dry expanse of the prairie before Renjun finally decided to take a rest under the lonely tree in the dry grassland. He drank from the water pouch generously supplied by his father and observed the sun. He guessed it was around noon, so the midday heat would set in soon.

Before he could give in to the fatigue that slowly trickled into his bones and muscles, he stood and continued on his way.

Just by mindlessly walking or sitting for hours, your mind wanders to places it wouldn’t normally go to. And Renjun found himself thinking of Kun as the sun beat down on him.

Kun. The brother he’d abandoned. He swore that if he could do it over, he would’ve said something to him. Anything to reassure him that he was there and still loved him. Now he was given the opportunity to make things right again. He was filled with too much apprehension thinking about seeing the face he loved most for the first time in years and the prospect of redemption, that the thought of a possible ulterior motive his father might have never crossed his mind. Love can be dangerous.

It was getting late, the bright, burning heart pumping life and heat into the earth was beginning to dip below the horizon, washing the land in a gorgeous, golden light. Renjun slowly felt the added strength from the greatest source of fire seeping from his muscles, though he knew it would return once again when the sun rose the next day. The moon made its appearance just as the last of the sun’s rays retired for the day.

In the distance, the sight of smoke rising into the sky caught his attention, drawing him in like a moth. He estimated that it couldn’t be more than a few people around a single fire, given the lack of other fires and single, dainty wisp of smoke.

A thought crossed his mind and he stopped abruptly in his tracks. How would he go about introducing himself to these complete strangers? Simply ask for company? Was that weird? Should he offer his assistance? Would that come off as too domineering?

A dry snap broke the still air. Renjun hissed a curse and dropped to the ground as a person by the campfire shot up.

“Who’s there?!” The voice was on the deeper side, likely male, though sounded young still. “Show yourself!”

Renjun was confident enough in his firebending abilities but he’d rather not have someone’s death on his conscience, especially if they turned out to be a non bender, just trying to travel around. And in the end, firebenders already had a bad name painted for them. Stereotyped as being overly aggressive and hostile; there was nothing to gain by playing into it.

So he stood and stepped towards the, now visible, fire that had been obscured by a dry thicket of shrubs. The person whipped around, a boy, to face him almost instantly, eyes wide and gaze stern with his fists raised threateningly. Renjun’s gait faltered and he raised his open palms.

“My apologies,” he said. “I’m just passing through.”

The boy looked him up and down. “You’re fire nation,” he stated sharply. “Why are you so deep in the Earth Kingdom?” He demanded.

Renjun didn’t let his gaze waver. “Just passing through,” he answered evenly. The boy didn’t lower his fists. “Are you traveling alone?”

“What’s it to you?” He shot back, eyes glinting in the muted moonlight. Renjun stiffened slightly at disrespectful and accusatory tone.

“You have a nice fire and I’m cold and lonely,” Renjun stated plainly, raising a challenging eyebrow. 

The boy narrowed his eyes. “And what if I tell you that’s not my problem?”

Renjun forced down the irritation that rose in his chest and shrugged. “Then I’ll be on my way. I’m not looking for a fight, not this late anyway, but if your fire begins to burn out of control, that’s not my problem,” he added the last part with a devilish smirk. He wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt someone to get his way, but his father had been instilling the belief that if he had the power to make something happen, then he should. 

The boy eyed him suspiciously. “So you’re a bender.”

“Never said that. But if you'd like to be left alone, I should be on my way-”

“Wait."

Renjun's lip twitched but he fought down a grin.

"If you’re just looking for company, that’s fine. But I don’t have food to share,” the boy offered.

“I’m thrilled. And don’t worry, I have my own food.”

They settled down together near the pitiful excuse of a fire. Renjun grumbled as he snapped fallen branches and built up the fire to a nice, bright glow. The boy just observed him, fiddling with some stones in his hand.

“What’s your name?” The boy asked after a long silence following Renjun’s dinner.

“Renjun. You?”

“Jaemin. Where are you from?”

Renjun frowned. When he’d said he was lonely, he’d only wanted someone to trade watch shifts with so he wasn’t carried off or murdered in the middle of the night. “The main island of the Fire Nation. You?” Specifics at this time seemed irrelevant, and revealing his identity had so much potential to turn into something fatal.

Jaemin shrugged, an odd response for such a question. “I live around, you know? I’m always on the move, since i don’t really have a reason to settle down. But right now I’m heading towards an old village I stayed in for some time to meet up with an old friend. Are you going anywhere in particular?” Jaemin asked, not so tactfully avoiding the real question. Renjun let it slide as he didn't plan on answering the following question. 

“That’s personal.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “Sorry, Mr. Classified, I’ll rephrase that. Do you have a destination or are you a wanderer?”

“Of course I have a destination, that’d be stupid just to be wandering aimlessly until you’re lost,” Renjun scoffed, to which Jaemin only raised an eyebrow.

“I think we all wander aimlessly through most of our lives. We tell ourselves that we have an end goal, yet we need to wander in order to find a way to get there. When I say wanderer, I mean, do you find peace and happiness in simply exploring the Earth Kingdom and it’s beauty in its entirety to help guide your spirit, not necessarily someone who’s lost looking for a way home.”

Reasoning of that depth had not been expected by Renjun from Jaemin. At first glance, the boy was a boy. Renjun’s height, perhaps a bit taller, with fluffy black bangs falling softly against his forehead and into his eyes. From what Renjun could make out in the light of the fire, his skin was very tanned and would probably look like a shadow in comparison to his own pale complexion. Jaemin’s clothes hung loosely off his skinny frame to accommodate the sweltering heat of the day and were stained with grass and dirt. His pants were frayed at the hems and stitches littering the mismatched fabrics were ugly, matching the tattered, worn rag of a shirt. But his thin, bony wrists and soft facial features greatly contrasted his low quality wardrobe. Overall, Jaemin’s appearance wasn't rugged or brawny as Renjun would've expect from someone of the Earth Kingdom.

No, Jaemin was young and clearly wise beyond his years, leading Renjun to think maybe he’d want the company for more than just one night. Until he found his way around the unfamiliar terrain, at least.

“You make a good point,” Renjun conceded. “I’ll admit that while I do have a place I need to be, I don’t know where that place is or how to get there.”

Jaemin leaned back, propped up by his hands and quirked his lips up in a smirk. “Are you asking for my help?”

Renjun withheld a glare in response to the snarky question. “If you’re offering it, I wouldn’t mind.”

The grin that slowly overtook Jaemin’s face was almost calming, how his lips stretched and his teeth flashed and his eyes squinted slightly. “I’ll offer my services, but only if I get something in return.”

Renjun pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes. “What do you have in mind?”

“Trust.”

He blinked, momentarily stunned. “Is that all?”

Jaemin rolled his eyes and huffed. “Trust is a very important thing to me. I need to be able to trust what comes out of your mouth and that your actions are done with good intent. _You_  don’t seem entirely keen on letting a stranger dictate your path but you seem to trust me enough to agree. Yet you’ve given _me_  no reason to trust _you_. So I need to know that I can trust you and that you trust me.”

Renjun had expected Jaemin to ask for money or food or supplies but trust hadn’t crossed his mind. Though the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. They were two, young boys, complete strangers to each other, planning to embark on a journey that may take them across the entire Earth Kingdom. They’d get nowhere if they couldn’t trust each other.

“You trusted that my name is Jaemin, but you haven’t trusted me with any information more personal than your name and your background, which is already obvious just by looking at you,” Jaemin explained. “So if you don’t trust me, I can’t help you.”

“And if I were to trust you, would you trust me in return?” He wondered aloud. The whole exchange made it feel like this was the biggest moment of his life. A key turning point that would alter the course of his future.

Jaemin hesitated. “Mostly. Trust takes time to build. It’s not simply a thing you can just give to people whenever. So as a warning in advance, even if you tell me that you completely trust me, I won’t believe you until I can trust you myself.”

Tricky. The boy obviously had more experience with traveling in the Earth Kingdom, which wasn’t saying much since Renjun had only ever seen the nation from within the walls of Ba Sing Se, (and only the friendly side since he’d exclusively interacted with one of royal earth kingdom servants who showed him to his room). If his suspicions of Jaemin being an earthbender turned out to be correct, that would be even more beneficial for him. But the whole trust thing was a lot for Renjun to process.

He never trusted. Not since Kun was whisked out of his life. Not since Kun had repeatedly drilled into his head never to believe in their father’s promises - their own father. Not since he’d broken Kun’s trust in him and his own trust in himself.

“I think I can do that,” he said slowly, gauging Jaemin’s reaction. The other boy maintained a stoic expression but nodded slowly.

“As long as you try, I’ll try too.”

They sat in silence for a while, processing everything that had just happened. Renjun felt obligated to stay with Jaemin until he completed his mission, now that the boy was promising to trust him. This mission had the potential to be a success or complete fail, simply based on how they handled each other's presence and the obstacles they encountered. 

It was almost funny how easily he’d been able to put on a confident, powerful front when in reality, he was only fueled by fear of his father and the painful longing just to see Kun again and know he was alive. He still didn’t completely believe his father’s words, but enough to still be out searching for Kun, which was probably all his father needed. Maybe this was all a trap just to get him out in the open where the secret assassins would end him, alowing his father to focus solely on calculating how to achieving his impossibly ambitious goals. Maybe he shouldn’t have believed Kun was still alive. Maybe he’d gotten them both, himself and Jaemin, into some deep shit they’d never be able to escape.

“Ground rule number one,” Jaemin said suddenly, startling Renjun out of his daze. “Don’t kill the other in his sleep.”

Renjun narrowed his eyes. Fair enough.

“Ground rule number two, if you gotta take a shit, do it far, far, _far_  away. No one needs to watch that.”

Renjun could only blink in bemusement that Jaemin would prioritize something like that as number two or maybe it had been a joke.

“Number three, if we get attacked, we split and you continue on your own. No questions asked.”

“Objection.”

“State your case, good sir,” Jaemin said, squinting at Renjun, who squinted right back.

“That’s not wise. Splitting up would make it way easier for larger forces or groups of people to tackle a single scrawny kid as opposed to two scrawny kids fighting back to back,” Renjun reasoned. “You’re an earthbender, right?”

Jaemin narrowed his eyes even more and it looked like he was about to dodge the question before he remembered his whole spiel on trust. “Yes.”

Renjun clapped his hands threw them up in the air, letting a few stray sparks fly from his fingertips. “Perfect. We’ll be unstoppable.”

Jaemin averted his gaze and began dragging his fingers through the cool dirt. “I’m gonna warn you, I’m not great with the whole teamwork thing. I’m used to just fending for myself. And don't expect too much of my bending abilities.”

The firebender gazed over the dancing flames at the boy sitting in front of him. How long had Jaemin been traveling alone to make it so he found working with another person to achieve a common goal difficult? He wouldn’t press the issue, because that would require opening up about himself which he didn’t want to do, but he wanted Jaemin to know that he was there for him. (Mostly because he needed him as a guide but Jaemin didn't need to hear that part.)

“Jaemin,” he said, gathering the attention of the other, “if that happens, you can run. You can run as far as you want if that makes you feel better but I’ll follow close behind. You signed up for this so we’re in it together. I got your back, no matter what.”

Jaemin met his gaze and although his face was only partially illuminated by the cracking fire, the twinkle that had dulled seconds ago was back in full force with a shy smile returning his own.

“I guess we should sleep then. I’ll take first shift, if you’re okay with that,” Jaemin offered after a moment of pondering Renjun’s promise. The firebender just shrugged, shuffling around before curling up near the dying blaze and laid his head on the hard ground, clutching his few belongings close to his chest.

A few minutes passed as he tried to calm his breathing to match with the fire’s heartbeat when a soft rumble rose from beneath him. He felt his body rise and would’ve been panicked if Jaemin hadn’t been calmly gazing at him, as if to reassure that everything was alright. It was dangerous and almost surreal how quickly he found himself falling into Jaemin’s arms, trusting the other to catch him. But he promised himself it was simply for the sake of completing his mission and nothing more.

He found his head elevated on a round, pillow shaped mound of softened earth to ease the slight strain in his neck and cracked open his eyes to peak at Jaemin. The boy was gazing at Renjun from where he stood above and offered a tiny quirk of his mouth before turning and settling down against the side of the makeshift mattress of earth to keep watch. And Renjun, despite the unsafe setting, was able to close his eyes and soon found himself drifting off to sleep in no time. He had a good feeling that he'd just found his way.

 

Jaemin woke Renjun sometime well into the night for his shift, raising up another slab from the earth for himself and immediately curled up, knocked out in seconds.

Rubbing his eyes and looking up, he saw the moon was still high in the sky with the stars twinkling in the darkness. Renjun rarely saw the stars back in the palace. He was more often than not confined to the training rooms in the basement and even when he wasn’t, he was learning politics and economics for when he’d become king one day.

But now that he knew ( _thought_  he knew) that Kun was still alive, he wouldn’t be heir to the throne anymore. It wasn’t something he’d get upset about, if Kun were to return and decide to claim the throne after their father died or stepped down, but it was something he hadn’t thought about since Kun’s death/disappearance.

Which lead him to contemplate why his father would’ve sent him on such a mission if he had the world’s most elite spies and ninjas available to track down Kun. He understood it was a part of his final assessment, though he didn’t understand how it related to firebending in the slightest. Maybe more to do with testing his control over his emotions. A firebender must be able to control himself before he can control a flame, something with much more potential to cause destruction on a larger scale.

Renjun shook his head trying to jostle the distracting thoughts from his mind and focus on preparing for a day of traveling. The blackened embers lay where they’d burnt out from the night before so he gathered up the remains and scattered them over the area, kicking some dirt over them. Didn’t need anyone following him incase his father did send out spies after him.

He finished cleaning up and dug through the small pouch he brought with him. Rations, parchment, twine and pouches of dried tea leaves. He pulled out a hunk of bread and a small sack of cornmeal mixed flour. The moon was slowly sinking as he prepared small pancake-like cakes for hitself when Jaemin woke.

He cupped the gooey mixture of batter in the tin cup and focused his energy. The batter bubbled and steamed until it was cooked through and he slid it out of the cup before mixing up some more.

He pulled out some dried beef, stabbed it through the bread to complete the hideous looking “food” and sat back as the sun rose, washing warmth over his skin. He closed his eyes and basked in the glory, drinking up the energy that spread through every muscle in his body.

He waited a little longer as his breakfast cooled and as the ground warmed up. He rose and padded over to Jaemin, watching as the golden light washed over the boy's bronzed neck and face. He blinked quickly and shook his head before shaking him awake.

“Jaemin.” He barked. “Jaemin, time to wake up.”

Jaemin sighed softly and rolled over, eyebrows furrowing as he was slowly drawn back into consciousness. “Mmmm…”

The pleasant smile that graced his features was quickly pulled into a tight frown and he shot up, jumping to his feet. His eyes were wild and his breathing erratic as he blinked away the blurriness in his vision to take in his surroundings, all while keeping his fists up, ready to defend himself.

Renjun pitied him. Pitied the boy’s high anxiety and difficulty with trust. Sure, he had his own issues, but never this bad. Never to the point where it showed outwardly.

“Jaemin, it’s just me, Renjun,” he stated calmly, raising his hands in surrender. The craze in Jaemin’s eyes slowly faded as he recognized Renjun and he regained control of his breathing and shaking limbs.

“Oh shit, oh my god,” he gasped, clutching at his heart as he was slowly reeled back into a calmer state. “R-renjun, I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t worry about it,” he quickly brushed it off. “I should’ve been more careful, knowing about your whole… yeah.”

Jaemin relaxed a little and sat back down on his bed, running a hand through his matted hair. “I got to say though, that was probably the best I’ve slept in years so thank you for that, Renjun,” he said, swiping up his water filled skin sack and taking a long sip.

Renjun frowned slightly. What could’ve caused him to become so distrustful and paranoid? Would it hinder his ability to travel and finish his mission in reasonable amount of time? He brushed the thoughts aside before they could grow into anything more than a fleeting idea.

“I made food,” _for you_ , he wanted to say, but for some reason that left a bad taste on his tongue.

“I can give you some.” He picked up the four small cakes he’d made and placed them in front of himself. Jaemin was very clearly eyeing the fresh food, no matter how dirt cheap it was, which reignited Renjun’s curiosity about the boy’s past.

“Th-that’s okay, I have my own food,” Jaemin said, still not looking away.

Something, a new presence within Renjun, began tugging his mind in a different direction. Away from the condescending, snobby, upturned nose type of approach he’d normally use in this situation and towards simply doing good to do good. Not because people were watching or to get a favor in return, but for the well being of the boy sitting in front of him.

It was so strange, the idea of doing good out of the kindness of his heart. His father had raised him believing that he held the power to take someone’s life from them and that he should use it to make them bow at his feet as a way to achieve his visions. And then after, to spare their pitiful life once he got what he wanted and call it generosity.

Objectively speaking, denying a starving man food when you have more than enough, is bad. But his father always taught him it was the starving man’s fault that he landed himself in that position by not working hard enough, so it wasn’t up to Renjun to fix it and he was doing nothing wrong by minding his own buisness. 

But the part that Kun had nurtured until his last day with Renjun slowly crawled out from the farthest, dustiest corners of his mind. It was like something had reactivated it. Perhaps the notion that he was no longer dead, or a new boy with a stunning smile. 

“ _Do good in the world for the good feeling you get in your heart. You remember how happy the turtleducks gets when you offer them your extra bread, right? Doesn’t their happiness make you feel happy too? Why don’t we go give them our extra slices of bread. They’ll appreciate it more than us._ ” Kun’s voice, what he remembered of it, rang in his head. A blurred memory of himself clumsily tossing a hunk of bread into one of the ponds, watching it bob over to the creatures before it was torn apart floated up from the depths of his mind. Renjun had announced he was full of his bread and made to throw it out until Kun offered a better solution. A solution where happiness was shared, not taken.

Renjun placed two of the cakes into Jaemin’s lap and sat back as the boy gaped in awe. But for only a second because Jaemin was quickly devouring the meat and then the sorry excuse of a pancake in an instant, sucking up every morsel. 

“D-don’t worry about it,” Renjun said finally, an unfamiliar lightness around his shoulders making itself present, almost enough so the raging voice in his head became unimportant. “But I think we should get going to cover some good ground before the afternoon heat hits.”

Jaemin nodded, brushing crumbs off his lip and swallowed the last hunk of food. “Yeah, of course. I’ll just clean up- what happened to the fire wood?”

“Hm? Oh, I got rid of it already,” Renjun said, finishing his breakfast and packing up.

With the sun only just beginning it’s ascent, the two boys began their trek through the grasslands. Jaemin pointed to a distant clump of green that was a forest they’d need to pass through to get to the closest town before they could figure out exactly where they needed to go from there.

The first few hours were nothing short of painfully awkward. Well, not for Renjun, who was very intent on getting to the first checkpoint to be one step closer to completing his mission. He barely noticed the nervous glances Jaemin kept throwing his way, or how they’d sometimes drift closer until Jaemin’s arm brushed his, sending him leaping back to a friendly arm’s length away.

He did however, notice when Jaemin tried to talk to him. Again, it was certainly not what he’d had in mind when he had agreed to the idea of having a travel buddy. Mind you, he’d wanted someone to guide him, not a buddy and certainty not a friend.

With a guide, that’s simply their job: to guide.There's no need for an emotional connection or attachment and trust is supposed to be a given, not a bond to be foraged. Any sort of travel _buddy_ would require an emotional investment as well as trust development. Now for a friend, that would require so much more energy and time. Something Renjun didn’t care to put in.

“So…” Jaemin sighed, “you can firebend?”

“Mmm hmm,” he hummed, maintaining his fast but steady pace. If the conversation stayed at a minimum and at this basic level, he could handle it.

“Like… breathe fire out of your mouth firebending?” Jaemin asked, sounding shy. Tentative was a better word. Jaemin didn’t appear characteristically introverted around the company or presence of others, but it seemed he was lacking a little in the communication aspect.

Renjun had to suppress a grin. Fire breathing was one of the skills he’d been most excited to tackle.

Instead of answering he stopped in his tracks and inhaled deeply, stretching his lungs to their full capacity and tilted his head upwards, focusing on the blue sheet of sky stretched high above him. Channeling the energy, he forced the air out of his lungs, slowly in a controlled stream of air like he was blowing a pinwheel.

A huge, swell of flames left his lips and shot up into the air. Intense heat swept over the two boys and his flames danced through the air, moving in a spiral upwards, steadily climbing high above Jaemin who watched in awe, before dissipating into the blue.

His lungs burned and the fire’s intensity weakened until all he could muster was a meek puff of fire no larger than a candle flame. He gasped for breath and coughed up some saliva that had gotten caught in the back of his throat, mentally grading his own execution. An eight out of ten would suffice.

“Normally you would ‘roar’ so to speak, but only when in a dance routine or as a battle cry,” he explained, picking up their pace again. Jaemin stumbled after him, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

“Damn Renjun! That was incredible! You’re like a master!” He exclaimed breathlessly, wide, dopey smile still stuck on his face. Renjun assumed he was one of those people who wore his heart on his sleeve, open and unashamed to show his true feelings. A lifestyle Renjun would never be able to adopt until his father died and even after that, they say old habits die hard.

“I am a master,” Renjun stayed simply, shrugging. Jaemin whipped his head around to face Renjun again, eyebrows bunched up and eyes narrowed.

“How old are you?”

“Eighteen. You?”

“Eighteen too… You’re a bit young to be a master aren’t you?” Jaemin sounded skeptical, like he was trying to figure out just who Renjun was.

So he just shrugged. “I mean, if you don’t believe me that’s fine. I wouldn’t believe me either. You have a last name?” He asked quickly, trying to steer away from the topic of himself. He truly didn’t know his own identity and trying to explain it to someone else wasn’t likely to help.

“Na. What’s it to you?”

“Trying to figure you out. Trust and stuff, right?” Renjun reminded, arching an eyebrow. They walked for a long time in silence, clothing flapping in the light breeze and sweat rolling down their skin.

“Break time,” Jaemin announced and bounded way off course over to a low dip in the terrain. He squatted down and popped open his canteen, dunking it into what Renjun figured at that point to be water. Jaemin had to have some special earth bending ability to be able to detect the small creek bubbling way off to their side where Renjun definitely hadn’t, and wouldn’t have, noticed. He wanted to learn more but at the same time knowledge can be such a dangerous weapon. You can use it against yourself or others and twist it to mold the image of your choice.

“It looks like this leads to an underground river,” Jaemin muttered to himself, leaning over the mud caked bank to try and follow where the water lead to.

Renjun stooped to fill his own canteen, emptying the old water into his mouth before doing so to take advantage of the source while it was there.

Meanwhile, Jaemin was wading into the water, tattered, brown pants bunched up at his knees and hands extended slightly, ready to... strike?

Renjun saw no point in trying to fish. The water was too shallow and there wasn’t enough of it for larger, fatter fish to be swimming by. And if Jaemin was right about it leading to an underground cave or source of water, fresh water fish didn’t tend to take residence in such remote places. At least not in the Fire Nation.

But Jaemin’s hand shot into the water quick as a flash and he pulled out a two gold pieces pressed tightly between his fingers.

“Waste not want not,” he grinned, stepping out of the water past Renjun. His bare feet, once dirt brown but now more fleshy looking, dripped with water as he stepped over the hot ground. Renjun frowned, taking note of something for the first time.

“You don’t wear shoes?” He asked. Surely, even though he was an earthbender, he wouldn’t be willing to risk the potential dangers and consequences that would be worsened without proper footwear.

Jaemin shook his head and pocketed the loose change. “They can be expensive and I don’t have socks to wear with them anyway,” he reasoned before beckoning for Renjun to follow as he set off again.

Renjun frowned but jogged until he was walking in stride with Jaemin, still slightly perplexed about two of the things he just witnessed.

He thought back to last night and Jaemin’s quick reaction when he’d stepped and now again when Jaemin was able to find the coins in the water, despite the glare and rushing bubbles.

“How skilled of an earthbender would you say you are?” He wondered aloud. Jaemin visibly tensed at the unexpected sound of Renjun’s voice beginning conversation.

“I’m… not very? I mean, I can earthbend, sure, but nothing that’s, like, close to your level, probably.” Jaemin seemed to avoid discussing anything about his identity, for whatever reason. Actually, probably for a reason similar to Renjun’s but it wasn't Renjun's place to press, though the curiosity still lingered in his mind. “Let’s just say, I’d be good enough to hold someone like you off for a bit of time, but definitely not good enough to take you down.”

The prince nearly scoffed out loud.

Renjun was fully confident he’d be able to take Jaemin down in a very short amount of time so either Jaemin was better than he was letting on or the earthbender had miscalculated Renjun’s real skill. Yet instead of saying anything, all he did was shrug and nod.

They made camp right as the sun was bidding farewell, joining with the horizon and sinking away so that the moon could rise. Renjun easily started a fire with Jaemin crouched at his side, mesmerized by the simplest technique of lighting wood.

Jaemin offered a few crumbs of his old, stale bread to Renjun and apologized about the trashy food.

“I felt bad that you had to feed me this morning,” he admitted. “I don’t have much, but I hope it’s okay…”

Renjun frowned. He wasn’t going to use one shared breakfast as leverage against Jaemin for a future favor. And it wasn't like he'd been looking for something out of it this time, he'd done it without the intention of keeping Jaemin in debt to him. A meal wasn’t worth anything to Renjun. But the physical condition Jaemin was in, suggested his situation was much different.

He’d seen the boy’s bony and bruised, dirt streaked kneecaps through the gaping hole in his left pant leg and his incredibly thin wrists were revealed whenever the wind billowed through his loose, long sleeved shirt. Renjun barely passed his examination on first aid and medicine but it didn't take a doctor to know that Jaemin’s physical state wasn’t healthy.

“Are you always this low on rations?” Renjun asked, offering Jaemin a generously sized slice of dried meat before he could even think. Jaemin didn’t even hear Renjun’s words. His attention was fixed on the meat with it’s savory seasonings wafting into the air.

“Do you want it? There’s no need for you to pay me back or whatever, food is a necessity not a luxury.” He winced, realizing his reasoning was more for himself than Jaemin. Searing words of what his father would have said upon seeing the situation burned into his mind and kept himself from saying anything more or insiSting Jaemin should take it.

Jaemin pursed his lips and an audible grumble came from his stomach. He looked between Renjun’s face and the food, eyes round with hope. “Are… are you sure?” He asked, voice small and uncertain.

Renjun felt something akin to pity digging into his gut. Things must’ve taken a weird turn over the twenty four hours they’d been traveling together. That was the only explanation he could come up with for the unwarranted emotions that Jaemin drew from within the depths of his being.

“Yes,” Renjun forced out. More words were positioned at the back of his throat. Words someone of his status would never in a million years speak to someone of Jaemin’s status. He wanted to reassure the boy that he cared. His mind was encouraging him to assert the power that he clearly held over Jaemin to make the boy realize he was giving him a gift. A gift he had the power to take away at any point or time.

He willed himself to remember Kun and the kindness he always showed and forced down the lump rising in his throat.

“I-I want you to have it,” he forced himself say before his willpower snapped and he almost snatched his offering back. But Jaemin was quicker, sparing him of what would’ve been and unpleasant outcome of such a despicable action. He'd had the power to deny the boy food, but he hadn't. 

The roaring inferno of chaos reignited in his mind and slowly began fanning out from where he’d though it’d been extinguished in the depths of his mind for good. He knew it was feeding off of the conflicting values of what he believed to be right and what he’d been taught was right. But he had no way to stop it.

Suddenly Jaemin was talking again and without warning, the chaos was cleared, his mind reverting back to an emotionless void, only a few simple thoughts of his surroundings and five senses drifting through.

“Are you alright? You got a little spacey there,” Jaemin said, voice still slightly muddled from all of the prior noise in his head.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied bluntly. “I’ll take first shift, get some rest.”

Jaemin compiled without complaint, elevating a slab to sleep on while Renjun sat back, finally truly alone with his thoughts.

He’d meant to use the time to sort through the new, unforeseen presence of Kun’s faded, yet still present, influence still within him but it was gone as soon as it came. It’s sudden reappearance must’ve had something to do with the heat and environment change.

They switched off, way later than they’d silently agreed on, which left Jaemin visibly annoyed. Renjun was too deep within his own mind, surrounded by his own anarchic thoughts to really notice or care though. Jaemin threw concerned glances at the other boy all throughout the night as he watched the firebender toss and turn in his sleep, only after finally falling asleep as the moon was already meeting the horizon.

 

A full day passed between them of near silence, other than very simple and basic conversation.

 

By the end of the day, Renjun had finally resolved to push all thoughts and feelings, including those relating to Kun, into the back of his mind to avoid screwing up his mission. It was easy enough and he’d done it before, which was the reasoning behind his decision.

Jaemin offered to watch first that night, since Renjun had gone way over his share of time. “It’s fine, I want you to rest,” Jaemin said when Renjun began to protest, despite the fatigue weighing down his bones.

“We should reach the forest tomorrow so that’s good news,” Jaemin informed, trying lighten the mood. But Renjun barely heard him. He just laid down and rolled over, closing his eyes and hoping for sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hell was that??!?

They started off earlier, since Jaemin was a bit worried that they might not cover enough ground to allow them to pass through the forest in one day. But at least Renjun was finally feeling more like himself. It had taken much more energy to recuperate than normal but truthfully, when his mind’s defenses crumbled like that, he’d be down and out for at least four days so he patted himself on the back and called it an improvement.

“So,” Jaemin began out of the blue, probably a little bored from walking for hours on end. The sun had risen high in the sky and it must’ve been sometime in the late afternoon. “How’d you find yourself out here? Yeah, yeah, I know you can’t tell me _why_  you’re out here but did you get dropped off against your will or are you on a quest to find a long lost relative or...?”

He’d hit so close to home Renjun felt his stomach drop.

“Err, something like that,” he evaded, shrugging. He could almost feel Jaemin rolling his eyes at him. “Kind of against my will but I don’t really mind either way. What about you, do you ‘wander’ or are you on your way home or something?”

“Mmm, not home. At least not the home I came from,” Jaemin said. “I don’t like thinking about it, my old home, so I’ve just been trying to get away now for… three years?”

“All alone?”

“Yup, all alone.” Jaemin paused.

“Actually, not completely alone. I have friends who live scattered throughout the Kingdom and some elsewhere in the world, but I usually move from place to place alone. But for now, I have you,” he said, giving a small laugh. Renjun couldn’t tell if he was serious about the last part or just joking around.

Silence settled in again, this time irritating Renjun more than before. The absence of something, perhaps not the conversation itself though, was slightly bothersome. The crunch of the dry earth and rocks beneath his shoes seemed almost deafening.

“So… you’ve been on your own since you were fifteen?” Renjun asked. Jaemin nodded, clicking his tongue.

“Nice math, genius,” he quipped, throwing a grin Renjun’s way. “And I’m guessing you’re fresh out of the nest?”

“Oh, no, I still live with my father,” Renjun answered, before he could decide against it. “He kind of sent me out here against my will, so that should also answer your other question.”

“Huh,” was all Jaemin gave as an answer and they relapsed into silence.

“Got a best friend at least?” Renjun pressed, curiosity getting the better of him. Jaemin pursed is lips in thought.

“I’m not really sure? Like, I guess my pet iguana parrot could count but he ran away.”

Renjun’s mind wound up with an image of an iguana but with wings, which certainly didn’t look right. But really, is there a ‘right’ way to imagine that?

“That’s rough buddy.”

“It’s fine, what we had was kind of a one way thing anyway,” Jaemin laughed, glancing at Renjun. His smile was all Renjun could focus on and how it almost never seemed to leave hi face.

“Does a… iguana parrot have scales?” He wondered aloud and Jaemin was very quick to answer.

“Oh no, no, no, no, no, definitely not. Scaly things are the devil’s minions, they don’t belong in this world,” he spat at no one in particular, physically shuddering at the mere mention.

Renjun felt laughter bubble up from the back of his throat and a smile spread over his face.

“Not a fan of scaly things, huh?” Renjun teased and Jaemin nodded vigorously.

“I mean, fish are meh. But they’re so _creepy_  with their bugging, unblinking eyes and wriggly bodies,” Jaemin said, making a face of disgust. “But any scaly land creature can burn in hell, they’re the worst. What possessed Mother Nature to create such weird skin?!”

Renjun found Jaemin’s disgust for scaly creatures so amusing he allowed himself to imagine what it would be like to introduce Jaemin to one of the family dragons. But the idea was fleeting. Their identities were guide and traveler, and should always remain that way.

“So I'm guessing you’ve never eaten snake before?” Renjun teased, raising an eyebrow. Jaemin’s face contorted in abhorrence and he made a choking noise.

“Never crossed my mind before but now I have you to thank for that repulsive idea,” he gagged, lips tugged down into a pouty frown and tongue sticking out between his teeth.

“Change the topic,” Jaemin demanded the instant Renjun opened his mouth to speak. “I’ll leave you in the middle of the night if you speak any more about scaly defects in nature,” he threatened good-naturedly.

No one, other than his father, had ever ordered Renjun to do anything. He was stunned for a minute, fully taking in that Jaemin, a homeless peasant, had just ordered him to do something. Renjun could talk about whatever he wanted; he didn’t need someone of Jaemin’s status to tell him what to do.

“O-okay then, umm, hobbies I guess? Do you have a hobby?” Renjun hurriedly asked, coming up with something on the spot. He surprised himself by how fast he was willing to comply.

Jaemin hummed. “You mean something I like to do in my free time when I’m not preoccupied with survival?

“Uh, sure.”

“I used to find history interesting. You know, like the idea of learning about and then taking what others have done and building off of it to mold it into your own vision?” Jaemin mused, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “But I haven’t been in school for three years,” he sighed wistfully.

“Because you’ve been out and about for the past three years?”

“Partially. Also because most public school systems can’t provide students with the necessary knowledge they need in the world, unless you’re in one of the big cities where the kids can afford not to work year-round on their farms, so it’s not like it’s really worth it anyway.”

The rhythmic crunching of rocks and dirt filled the gap in their conversation.

“Did you come from one of the bigger cities?”

“Mmm… yes and no. I wasn’t born in a big city but I did travel through Omashu at one point,” Jaemin hummed. “What about you? Living on the main island of the Fire Nation and all.”

Renjun frowned. “I'm from the capital.”

Jaemin’s eyebrows shout up and his mouth dropped open a tad. “Wait, no, seriously? Like, _capital_  capital or -”

“What other kind of capital?”

“I wasn’t finished - or capital streets. Like, in the slums or poor parts.”

Was that normal, asking someone a question like that?

“I- uh, I’m from like the center,” he evaded once again. Jaemin shot him a look but changed the topic.

“Do _you_  have any hobbies?”

“Not really. I’ve been focused on my bending and studies so I haven’t had time to explore, I guess,” he shrugged. That’s all there really was to it.

“C’mon, you must’ve looked over something and thought it was pretty cool, like maybe maths?”

Renjun pulled a face of disgust. “No. Math is hard and useless. However, I did have a few courses on art such as painting and sculpture.”

It had been about two years since he was last able to take an elective in his studies. Being constantly bogged down by his studies and bending training had left no room for enjoying the process of learning or life in any kind way. Strict rules implemented by his teachers dictated that he was to focus exclusively on the topic given so as not to impair his focus.

“Huh… do you like painting anything in particular?”

“I mean, I mostly worked on still-lifes, nothing abstract.” Abstract thought distorts reality and one’s perception of the real world, which was bad for a firebender of Renjun’s caliber. Without clear cut understanding of what was really happening, it could mean the loss of a life at his hands as a result of something as simple as a misunderstanding.

Jaemin hummed and they carried small spurts of conversation throughout the rest of the day while trailblazing through the afternoon heat. Just as the sun was setting, the two boys reached the edge of the forest and made camp. They stayed up way later than planned, too engrossed in their conversations about school and the world around them.

Renjun had found some type of peace with Jaemin as the days dragged by. Granted, he’d spent maybe a total of seventy-two hours with the other boy and maybe the surrounding, barren, grassland had something to do with it, but he felt free almost. Like nothing else but their journey together mattered. Not even the end goal of his mission could deter the peace he’d found within himself.

The pressure of pleasing his father and not straying from the family values still hung over his head, but he was able to brush them aside. He offered more of his food to Jaemin, slowly making progress with the ideas of pure-hearted kindness (as bad as that may sound) and trust.

 

Starting from the forest’s edge just as the sun cleared the horizon and shone fully in the east, they stepped into the cool shade of the trees. Trees in the earth kingdom differed greatly from the fire nation. For one, there were much more and two, they were way larger. The trucks were wider than Renjun’s arm span and towered several stories over them, creating a neat atmosphere Renjun hadn’t experienced before. The ground of the forest floor was soft and blanketed with shrubs and grass, a nice contrast from the hard cobblestone that paved the dirt everywhere you went in the Fire Nation.

“This is one of the smaller sections of the forest,” Jaemin explained as they trudged through the lush vegetation. “So it should only take us maybe a day to get through. If nothing unexpected crosses our path,” he added.

Renjun frowned. “Should I be worried?”

“Nah, it’s never more than an anxious saber-tooth moose lion that might risk a fight against a human but bears are pretty common. Just keep your distance,” Jaemin said nonchalantly. It sounded like he was speaking another language.

“A saber-tooth _what now?”_

The laughter that left from deep in Jaemin’s throat was refreshing. It might’ve been the first time he heard the boy genuinely laugh.

“You’re really cute when you’re confused, you know that?” Jaemin asked, still grinning. Renjun tried his best not to let the words infiltrate the steel barrier he’d put up to avoid getting attached. It didn’t work. All he could hear was Jaemin’s voice calling him cute echoing over and over inside of his head. He forced himself to think of his father and his unpredictable outbursts of rage. That fixed the distracting thoughts really quickly. 

“A saber-tooth moose lion is just like a regular moose, you know? But it’s got these massive paws instead of hooves and it’s much bigger with two, long saber teeth sticking out of it’s upper jaw. They’re mostly harmless and the babies are absolutely adorable but the moms are really sensitive, you can’t mess with them.”

Renjun tried to picture such a thing in his mind and had a flashback to when Jaemin had mentioned a type of parrot iguana thing. “That’s odd and sounds impractical. Is it carnivorous?”

“Something like that,” Jaemin shrugged. “Don’t really know though. Also don’t act like you don’t have weird ass creatures in the Fire Nation. With all of those tiny islands I’m sure there’s variety.”

Renjun almost laughed out loud. That was true, he had no room to talk when the creatures of the Fire Nation were just as unique and strange as the Earth Kingdom’s.

“Yeah, we got our fair share. The ones tourists and foreigners find the strangest are probably… the lion vulture and dragon moose.”

“How does that even work?” Jaemin asked, face twisting in confusion.

“It’s weird, it’s like-”

Their conversation was interrupted by a resounding roar that shook Renjun to his core.

“Is- is that what a moose lion sounds like?” He asked, searching the surrounding vegetation for unnatural movement to give away the position of a potential attacker.

“No, not really…” Jaemin said slowly, tip toeing over the forest floor. “Keep your voice down and maybe it won’t find us,” he instructed and continued onward, though much more slowly and quietly.

A flash in the corner of his eye caught Renjun’s attention and he jumped into a defensive stance. Jaemin froze, waiting and listening for any sound.

There was a deep growl and a shadow leapt out from behind a dense patch of shrubs. A huge lion-like creature charged at Renjun who was frozen in his spot.

Huge, protective plate coverings sat on it’s back, reminding Renjun of the armor on a rolly polly bug, and huge paws kicked up the soft earth as it charged at Renjun. He sprinted, quickly scaling a tree with practiced ease and perched himself on a branch several feet in the air, trying to calm his breathing as the lion thing turned instead to Jaemin.

"It can't climb, right?" He checked quickly, looking to Jaemin.

Jaemin remained calm as he dashed towards a tree, never looking back. With a sharp kick into the ground, he shot himself upwards on a pillar of rock, expertly landing on a branch out of the lion thing’s reach. "Nope."

It circled between the two boys, tail twitching and eyes glinting but stalked off after a while.

Renjun breathed for the first time since the thing had appeared, straddling the branch and leaning against the trunk to catch his breath.

“What was that?”

“Armadillo lion,” Jaemin explained cooly. “They’re bigger than normal lions and the weird shells on it’s back are protective plates, like an armadillo. I guess I forgot about them.”

“H-how can you just _forget_  about something like that?” Renjun sputtered, and Jaemin only shrugged.

“Doesn’t matter now, but we gotta get going. I’m dangerously low on supplies so we gotta get through here today.”

With that, Jaemin slid off the branch, landing on the raised pillar he’d made before and slowly lowered himself to the ground with his bending. Renjun shuffled nervously on his branch. That was a far drop...

“Jaemin?” He called after the boy, who was already beginning to leave.

“Yeah?” Jaemin turned and looked around before realizing Renjun was still in the tree.

Shit, how should he go about this? His firebending was good, he knew that, but not good enough to create some kind of propulsion to help himself get down without burning the forest to the ground. He could try to climb down, though there were no branches beneath him (curse these tall trees) and a slip could result in a broken bone.

Renjun despised asking others for help. He was still learning how to give it but asking for help was a whole other issue. He’d been raised to be strong and independent. His father would never help him if he asked for it and he never went to Kun because he had his own problems. He’d suffered alone through his subjects in school and some bending abilities he was still unable to perform even after earning the rank of master. Because who was he, the Prince of the Fire Nation, to ask someone else for help?

It’d be a sign of weakness and vulnerability, something his father was so concerningly good at exploiting.

He took a deep breath, weighing his options before he swallowed and made his decision.

“C-could, uh, you help me out a bit?” He asked quietly, avoiding the other boy’s gaze. He didn’t need to look at Jaemin to know he was grinning.

“Aww, cute,” Jaemin cooed, walking over and sending up a platform for Renjun to step onto. He shuffled off the branch and crouched on the smooth stone, still avoiding Jaemin’s gaze.

“Hey, it’s okay to ask for help,” Jaemin assured when Renjun still refused to meet his eyes. “It’s not your job to be able to do everything on your own.”

_It will be soon if I don’t find Kun._

“Let’s just go,” he mumbled, brushing past Jaemin and plowing through the forest.

They trekked through the vegetation and found a serene clearing with a bubbly brooke running by with lively wildlife surrounding them everywhere. Jaemin knelt by the running water and dunked his hands in, bringing some up to his lips and sipping carefully. Most of the water ran down his forearms and left glistening streaks where the dirt from his body had been washed away.

“Renjun,” the earthbender said, looking the other up and down. “It’s been like five days since you’ve been out here, you should refill your water.”

Renjun almost scoffed but admitted that Jaemin did have a point. He’d run out of the water he’d brought with him from the Fire Nation that morning. Taking the fact that his water had lasted for like four days, he definitely wasn’t drinking enough water for the amount he was sweating. But he didn’t know if it’d taste okay.

Yes, that is what he was worried about. Not the quality or the nutrients, just the taste.

He scooped some up in his hands as best he could and took a taste. It was… well, water. Not much else to it. So he happily drank up more, letting the sensation of the current running over his skin move between his fingers and up as far as his wrists, enjoying the quiet nature. Almost ironic considering how only an hour or two ago he’d nearly been eaten by an armadillo lion.

The cool water dribbled down his chin but he couldn’t care about how ‘undignified’ or ‘childish’ he looked in the moment because Jaemin was scooping up the water and splashing it in Renjun’s direction. The droplets landed on his clothes and face, making his jaw drop in shock. When he turned to face the criminal, Jaemin was beaming at him and aiming another splash.

“Oh my god, you’re literally like five,” Renjun heard himself saying as he closed his eyes and tried to duck away from Jaemin’s attacks. The other just laughed and stood, drying his hands off on his shirt.

Renjun grumbled about being wet now and Jaemin just rolled his eyes again, assuring the boy that a little bit of water wasn't going to kill him. 

With a deep inhale and exhale, the water hissed and boiled into steam from Renjun's skin and clothing, leaving Jaemin speechless. Renjun pretended not to notice and stilled past, smoothing down his dry clothes with a sly grin.

Jaemin bounded after him, still awestruck.

“Wow. You should teach me that.”

“Maybe one of these days,” he scoffed, making Jaemin giggle out loud.

There was a new, light hearted and free spirited atmosphere about the two boys, more so than any other time. It was peacrful, and yet it scared Renjun, but he didn’t let it show.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That…. that was not expected.  
> Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a... Fun chapter to say the least.
> 
> FLUFF WARNING AHEAD  
> (and uhh anGst(?))

“What’s that?” Renjun asked, pausing and looking up at a small ball of red fur and two beady eyes looking down on them. Jaemin searched for the creature, neck craning.

“A fire ferret, I think. Cute little guys, but a little skittery,” he identified, continuing onwards briskly.

“Is… does it firebend?” Renjun asked, jogging to catch up. The only ever animals, besides humans, known to have the ability to firebend were dragons, so the name was a bit misleading. 

“No, just called that because of the red, I think.”

“Oh.”

 

 

“Stop.”

Renjun stopped after a moment of hesitation, eventually assuming Jaemin’s intentions were in the right place.

“Trap,” was all he got as an explanation. Jaemin’s arm was stuck out with his finger angled at a normal spot of dirt and vines. Renjun raised a skeptical brow.

“There’s nothing there.”

“That’s kind of the goal,” Jaemin shrugged, cutting back to maneuver around the small patch of very normal looking forest floor.

Renjun followed after a moment of hesitation, puzzled by how anyone could’ve noticed that.

“They’re meant for smaller creatures, but if you aren’t careful you’ll be stuck until they come by to check them,” Jaemin elaborated after they’d cleared the area. “They operate slightly under the earth with dirt thrown on top of the cage for camouflage, which is why they’re so hard to see.”

“Then you must have really good eyesight,” Renjun remarked.

“A gift, I guess,” he shrugged without giving more detail. Renjun just nodded, letting the conversation drop.

 

 

“You said you were going to see your friend, right? How far away do they live?” Renjun asked in an attempt to distract himself.

“I mean, I’m not really sure where on a map but from around here it can take like, twelve or fourteen days.”

That didn’t help.

“Oh.”

“But like, he moves around a bit so he might not be in the same place. In which case, I’d probably switch to heading into Ba Sing Se? I’ve been meaning to see the city for sometime now, it’s just been a bit of a daunting journey.”

Renjun pondered the thought. If he went into the capital, he might be able to use more of his resources to get a better tag on Kun. But that was straying really far from the section his father had promised was Kun’s general residence.

He sighed heavily, ignoring the look Jaemin threw him and brushed past the other boy, raking a hand through his hair.

 

 

By spending hours on end plodding through the forest, Renjun found that it had much to offer. However, humidity was not one of the things Renjun appreciated. His stomach twisted in a funny way and his head began to pound, making it very hard to focus on whatever Jaemin was rambling about. He noticed that the boy seemed more open than he had the previous days.

“Jaemin, could you just…”

How should he phrase this? _Shut the hell up you inconsiderate bastard, my head is starting to kill me and my stomach feels like it’s trying to digest rocks?_

That’d be effective but wasn’t the exact approach Renjun was going for. He still needed Jaemin around.

“Turn your voice down a bit…?”

The earthbender gave him a curious look. “You feeling okay there? You’re, like, holding your stomach…”

“I’m fine,” Renjun snapped. “Just a bit hot. Now, if you wouldn’t mind…?” He asked with more of an edge to his voice than he'd intended.

“Sure, sure, no problem,” Jaemin said, though the look he was giving Renjun suggested anything but that.

They were nearing the edge, judging by how the trees began thinning out and the dry expanse of grasslands peaked through the towering trunks, which helped to relieve a bit of Renjun’s headache. He just needed a rest, was all he told himself.

Renjun didn’t really know what he’d been expecting from an Earth Kingdom village. Something village-like, probably, consisting of huts and a small center market with a few other shops of types open along a main, dirt road.

The area he was looking at looked like a post-war setting bathed in the late, late afternoon sun, where the houses had just been re constructed but rubble and shit was still littered everywhere.

The huts were small and made of stone bricks or wood from the forest he’d just walked out of with Jaemin, and had roofs of straw or wood. Very few people milled about but those who did were dressed in very ratty looking clothes of various browns, the pieces hanging off their skinny frames, while the children played in the hot sun half-naked. Though many homes had residents, there were few that looked like they’d been abandoned long ago and some were even trashed so badly they looked like a heap of trash and nothing more.

Fields surrounded the living spaces and cattle, that appeared to be no more than specks from afar, grazed just around those fields. While they didn't appear to be thriving, they were surviving at least. 

Jaemin gave him a tight smile and moved forward, entering the village. Renjun steeled his nerves, putting on his inexpressive front and followed close behind, pushing his discomfort to the back of his mind.

They were greeted with kind smiles and friendly waves by the residents and occasional greeting. Well, only Jaemin. The villagers shied away from Renjun, with his flaming red and yellow robes of rich fabrics and the sternness in his piercing gaze.

“Hello,” Jaemin greeted politely, bowing to one of the women returning to her hut with a basket of herbs in hand. She was round and chubby, eyes crinkled around the corners from years of smiling and laughing. “We’re just passing through, is there a place around selling food or supplies?”

“Yes, just past this here row of homes, there’s a few stands that vendors who pass by often like to sell from but I’m not sure if there’s anyone there right now,” she said, smiling warmly. Renjun noticed that she spoke with an accent, something he should’ve expected but didn’t.

He sighed. If there were no venders, that meant no way to restock on supplies.

“Do you know when the next, uh, vendors will be coming by?” Jaemin asked carefully. 

The woman nodded. “Yes! They pass through about every half moon so I suspect they’ll be by in just a few days. But there are other shops that sell goods, they’re just smaller. The vendors bring some foods, news from the city or hard to find ingredients in these areas and such. Are you looking for a place to stay?” She asked.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting to stay long, only for a night or two, or until the vendors come by at least, and I usually just sleep outside,” he explained with a radiant smile and Renjun quietly observed as the woman fell further for Jaemin’s charm.

“It would be no problem if you wished to stay with me for your time around,” she offered, “my husband and I have been lonely since our kids went off exploring the kingdom.”

Renjun was intrigued and baffled by the amount of trust the woman showed to let Jaemin, a strange boy, into her house without much reasoning other than that he usually slept outside. Unless she didn’t actually own anything too valuable or just didn’t see him as enough of a threat.

“Is there room for two?” Jaemin asked, glancing over at Renjun who stood to the side quietly, arms crossed as he watched the exchange.

The woman’s eyes widened when they found Renjun’s, as if she hadn’t even noticed his presence. She looked him up and down twice and nodded.

“I- I suppose so,” she decided, “is… is he your friend?”

Jaemin hummed. “We’re traveling in the same direction,” he answered, avoiding the question, which did a little thing to Renjun’s already aching stomach. Renjun himself didn’t even know if he’d call Jaemin a friend. 

“Right this way then,” she said cheerfully, hobbling towards one of the smaller huts on the outskirts of the village. The boys followed, Renjun after Jaemin.

The village was small, probably no more than a total of twenty intact small huts with a few larger ones scattered about. While most of the population appeared to be on the older side, the younger generation still thrived working in their parents' fields and moving easily through the streets. Everyon around seemed very happy and content with their lives, as sad and poor as they seemed.

They came to a hut built from wood with a tattered tarp of animal hide hanging in the doorframe. Renjun ducked through the doorway, finding a small interior with no more than four rooms. Two bedrooms, a small living space and a kitchen-like area where the woman placed down her basket on a round, stone table.

The hut had a grand total of three rooms and while Renjun understood that people he would meet on his mission wouldn’t have the same luxuries as himself, it still came as a bit of a surprise that people could live in such as small home. It was a little airy with chinks in the roof and walls between the wooden boards, casting irregular patterns of light on the dirt floor.

“It’s late in the afternoon and you two must be tired from your travels. Why don’t you make yourselves comfortable in the extra bedroom and I’ll wake you for supper, hm?”

“Oh, no, you don’t need to feed us. Your hospitality and kind heartedness is more than enough already, we can’t possibly ask for more,” Jaemin insisted. Renjun squinted disbelievingly at the boy. 

The woman snapped out of her momentary daze caused by Jaemin’s smooth talking and smiled so wide that Renjun worried her face would split in half. “Oh, you’re such a sweet boy! I assure you it’s no trouble for me and I usually end up making more than my husband and I can eat. It’s no trouble at all,” she reassured, still smiling as she lead the boys into the smaller of the two bedrooms with a single cot.

“I apologize for the poor insulation, it might get a bit drafty in the night. I’ll fetch some blankets,” she said and hurried away.

Renjun stared at the single, twin sized bed.

“I’ll go on the floor for tonight,” he announced, setting his things down next to the bed and began to sit on the ground. His head was pounding and he could feel his hot pulse pressing against the backs of his eyes with every bet of his heart. His stomach was aching too, though less so than before. He told himself that he was tired and probably a bit dehydrated and that he should try to rest a bit. But Jaemin had other ideas.

“C’mon Renjun, there’s more than enough space for both of us,” he urged, startling Renjun. The firebender squinted really hard. Had Jaemin eaten something weird that day? He was so uncharacteristically open and trusting of this woman to shelter them for the night that it almost worried Renjun. And now he wanted to sleep next to him?

“Are you okay?” Renjun asked warily, shuffling in his spot on the cool dirt floor. “You’re not acting normal…”

Jaemin frowned, bottom lip pouting slightly as he gazed down from the cot. “What are you talking about?”

“I mean you’re literally asking me, a guy whom you’re still unfamiliar with, to sleep next to you for the night in some strange woman's house?”

Renjun’s head and stomach really hurt. It was the first real disagreement he and Jaemin were having. He needed sleep.

Jaemin’s gaze hardened. “If you don’t want to that’s fine. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you,” he snapped and turned away. He looked deflated and Renjun hated knowing he was the cause for the sudden change in mood. He opened his mouth to say something but the woman came back, carrying extra blankets for both of them.

“I hope you boys don’t mind they’re a bit old, but they’re still warm!” She left them at the foot of the bed and waddled out, sliding the thin curtain into the doorway.

Renjun gathered up half of the blankets, doubled them over and patted them down to cushion the hard earth before rolling over and closing his eyes. Sleep came quickly and relieved him of the pounding headache. 

 

Someone was shaking him. And calling his name. He hated it. His head was pounding worse than before and now his throat was burning. He parted his lips in a soft groan, twisting his head away from the warm breath that puffed over his face. 

“Renjun, you gotta wake up, it’s time to eat,” Jaemin said but his voice was muffled by the pounding of Renjun’s heart in his ears. His joints ached and his eyelids were so heavy, like someone had glued them shut and balanced stacks of coins on top. 

He whined and rolled into Jaemin, clutching at the boy’s tattered clothes and pressed his head against the warm skin radiating from his body. He couldn’t think properly through the fever that plagued and clouded his hazy mind. He wanted to be colder, not hotter. But the way Jaemin enveloped the firebender in his arms, though tentative, was comforting. 

“R-renjun, I know it’s not fun to wake up,” Jaemin said softly, evidently startled by the other's touchiness, and ran a hand through Renjun’s matted, slightly damp hair. “But you gotta- shit are you sweating? Oh my god, Renjun, you’re burning up,” he breathed, voice cracking with panic.

“I’m- I’m fine,” he rasped, throat feeling like it was stripped raw. “Stop… get off of me,” he protested, but Jaemin just pulled him closer. He was too weak to fight even the loose grip Jaemin held him in but his mind was still conscious enough to understand the situation he was in. And he didn't like it. "Get off..."

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, your skin is boiling hot,” Jaemin hissed, pressing the back of his hand against Renjun’s damp forehead and quickly retracting it. “I’ll be right back,” Jaemin said, leaving Renjun’s side and hurrying out of the room.

Renjun suppressed a whine as a fresh wave of pain hit him, making his head to spin. Fuck, he’d though he could get through the mission without any interferences. It had barely been a week and he was sick. He blamed it on the sudden change in environment and exposure to foreign creatures. He’d thought he could sleep off his headache but was worse now and his stomach wasn’t any better.

He heard Jaemin coming back and the sound of the old woman shuffling over the floor. He sensed two bodies kneel over him and warm hands pressed to his face.

“Oh my,” the woman gasped and applied a damp cloth to Renjun’s forehead. The cool sensation felt so good. Renjun sighed and leaned against the cool cloth as she patted it all over his face before handing it to Jaemin who pressed it against Renjun’s neck while she shuffled away again.

“Jaemin,” Renjun croaked swiping his tongue over his dry, chapped lips. He forced his eyes open to meet Jaemin’s, who’s gaze was soft with concern. “I’m fine, just let me be…” he muttered angrily. He was more than capable of taking care of himself and didn’t need anyone seeing him in such a weak and pitiful state.

“Shh, shhh,” Jaemin hushed, cupping the side of Renjun’s head, turning it to the side and slipping the cloth over his burning skin. “It’s okay, I’ll take care of you.”

Renjun’s head spun. Could he trust Jaemin not to just leave him with this strange woman in a foreign town? Could he trust him to help him get better? Jaemin didn’t seem to be the kind of person to just ditch Renjun the minute he fell ill. But Jaemin didn’t need Renjun to get through the Kingdom.

“N-no, stop,” he whined, trying to pull from Jaemin’s grip. But the other boy just held him tighter, patting the cloth over his forehead.

“Renjun, you’re sick. You need someone to look out for you,” Jaemin insisted, pushing back Renjun’s bangs to wipe the sweat away. “Just get some rest, don’t worry. I’ll take care of you,” he promised.

Renjun swallowed and took a deep breath. He trusted only Lay to take care of him back at the palace whenever he got sick. This was new, and frankly pretty scary. 

“P-promise?” He asked weakly, looking up into Jaemin’s eyes. Jaemin gave a soft smile, eyes shining and he nodded earnestly.

“I promise. I’ll take good care of you, trust me.” 

And for some reason, those words calmed Renjun's racing mind and allowed him to slowly lower his defenses, even if only a little. 

Renjun continued to slip in and out of consciousness, forehead hot to the touch the entire time. He was only vaguely aware that at one point Jaemin had hoisted him into his arms, jostling him a bit but quickly apologizing after, and carried Renjun to lay him on the bed. Following that, the mattress dipped and a comforting warmth pressed against him, the soft skin of Jaemin’s nose brushing his cheek. But maybe it was just a fever dream.

Sometime in the night he was shaken awake with Jaemin’s voice calling him. He was pulled from deep within his mind and hit with an intense wave of nausea, rattling his brain.

“Renjun, you gotta eat,” Jaemin murmured, continuing to gently shake the other boy. “There’s soup for you, c’mon Renjunie…”

Renjun forced his eyes open a crack and was greeted by a large, round pair gazing back at him. His head was spinning and his stomach felt painfully empty and the smell of something… nice wafting through the air was welcomed.

“There you are. Now you gotta sit up, okay? I’ll help,” Jaemin instructed and slipped an arm under Renjun’s shoulders. Soreness festered in his joints and bones, making it painful and unpleasant just to perform the simple task, leaving Jaemin to do all of the work.

Renjun was finally moved into a sitting position, back rested against the wall of the room with Jaemin sitting at his side. A hard, firm and rounded object pressed against Renjun’s lips, prying them open. He was confused for a minute but warm, savory liquid dripped onto his tongue and he suddenly understood. 

Though the taste was rich and wonderful, he frowned and pressed his lips tightly together. There was no way that Jaemin was going to _feed_ Renjun.

“Say ahh~” Jaemin murmered, prying at the firebender’s lips once again. “C’mon, you need to eat...”

Renjun shook his head, a deep frown paving creases into his face. Jaemin ignored his vain protests, cupping Renjun’s chin in one hand and pinching his lips open to reposition the bowl against them.

With a few last halfhearted protests, Renjun finally opened his mouth compliantly to let Jaemin feed him the warm broth.

Jaemin did his best to slowly feed Renjun, but all of the liquid would pour out of the bowl at once, making the boy cough up more than he was taking in.

“C’mon, just a bit slower Renjun,” he coaxed, sloshing the broth around a bit and trying again. He failed to dribble the liquid slowly enough for Renjun’s sore, scratchy throat to handle and the boy coughed up another mouthful.

Renjun frowned but didn’t have the energy to voice his thoughts that it was Jaemin who needed to go slower  After all, he was the one with the bowl, pouring it too fast.

The earthbender sighed as he wiped up the soup dripping from Renjun’s lips and tried to think of another way. “Maybe she has a spoon… but it’s late. I don’t want to bother her or her husband,” Jaemin though out loud, preparing to try again.

Renjun couldn’t process the words Jaemin was saying but he _did_ register Jaemin's hand cupping his jaw and turning his head to face Jaemin, followed by the sudden, soft warmth pressing against his lips in contrast to the stiff wooden bowl. Jaemin tilted his head, slotting them together at the mouth carefully. It created a pleasant sensation that zipped down Renjun’s spine, which only increased as Jaemin’s lips parted slowly against his own, prompting him to do the same, and just a trickle of warm broth slipped into his mouth and down his throat.

That…. that was not expected… ever.

Renjun’s brain completely short-circuited and all family values and rational thoughts were reduced to ashes. He hoped he could play it off, the kissing thing (was that what this was?), as just a result of him being too sick to feed himself. Yes, that's what it was, just feeding someone and nothing more.

He swallowed it down slowly and rubbed at his swollen eyes, wondering if he was hallucinating now. But Jaemin’s face leaned in closer once again and he felt the warmth from the other’s lips as they connected. Renjun instantly parted his lips this time, eager for more and slowly swallowed down the broth at his own pace.

They finished the bowl all too soon for Renjun’s liking. Jaemin cleaned up their mess and laid Renjun back down before retreating back into the kitchen to clean up. It was so hard to stay awake, even just for him to scold Jaemin for stupidly kissing him and risk contracting his sickness. But his body had other plans and he was soon sent off to dreamland once again.

 

Renjun was shaken awake multiple other times that night with Jaemin carefully feeding him warm broth and water to take care of him through his fever. It felt like a dream and he was never able to distinguish the events from one another.

“Renjunie… you gotta eat…”

A sweet voice drifted through the haze in his head, awakening his conscience. A sweet voice, very unlike the gruff bark of his father or the monotone grumble of his servants. The voice reminded him of a sunny spring day where the flowers in the meadow danced with the wind and the long, rustling grasses played a symphony. Overflowing with the soft love between a mother and her child and sparkling laughter filling the sky.

He forced feeling back into his fingertips and gathered the energy to pry his eyes open a crack. The same, bottomless, green, sparkling eyes greeted him with a warm smile, with something more that Renjun's cloudy mind couldn't identify. 

“Hey there… thought you should eat since it’s been almost twelve hours since you last ate, huh,” Jaemin said, reaching for what was probably a bowl of broth.

Renjun groaned and pouted, screwing his eyes shut again and childishly sticking his tongue out at Jaemin. But he couldn’t deny that his heart jumped at the idea of letting Jaemin feeding him again.

“Tire….d…” he groaned and struggled to flip himself over. Light laughter blessed his ears for a split second before the familiar, almost concerningly so, lips pressed against his and warm, savory liquid dribbled into his mouth. That woke him up really quickly.

“Mmmm,” he hummed contentedly. His headache was beginning to subside and his stomach no longer felt like it was being stabbed with a kinfe, though it was still hard to believe that what was happening was actually real. He could feel Jaemin’s lips quirk up slightly at the sound.

They slowly drank the bowl, Jaemin occasionally stealing a couple mouthfuls for himself, without a care in the world. Renjun was stuck in a daze somewhere in dreamland where things seemed too realistic to be a dream for the entire time and even when they were done.

Renjun found himself feeling empty afterwards for an unidentifiable reason. Jaemin flashed a quick smile before getting back up and cleaning up the bowl before rejoining Renjun in the cot.

“Jaemin,” he began, allowing the other boy to snuggled up next to him. His head was beginning to clear and he was suddenly hit by the full realization of what had gone down. It had to have been real. Right? So naturally, it felt imperative that he addressed the situation between them otherwise it could compromise their mission.

But now Jaemin’s fingers were threading through his hair, lulling him back into a half conscious state. And it just didn’t really seem like the best time. All urgency and anxiety melted from  
his being and he found himself leaning into the touch.

“Mm hm?” Jaemin hummed, prompting him to continue. Renjun gulped.

“I’m uhh… th-thank you for taking care of me,” he managed to say, averting his gaze from Jaemin’s. But he could still feel the earthbender’s gaze burning into the side of his face.

“It was nothing,” he reassured and Renjun could hear the big grin in his voice. “Renjun, c’mon, look at me,” Jaemin murmured, reaching up with his index finger and tipped Renjun’s head to face him. Renjun’s face burned hotter than fire as Jaemin’s gaze bore into him.

“To quote a strong, intelligent boy I once met, ‘you signed up for this so we’re in it together. I got your back, no matter what.’ If I feel ill, I know you’d do the same for me,” Jaemin reassured, never once breaking eye contact with him. Renjun recognized his own words from the first night they’d met and flushed a deeper red than the robes he wore.

It had to have been the sickness making him feel so weird.

Renjun, inhibitions lost, head still throbbing and sleep creeping back over him, allowed himself to roll his head into Jaemin, resting his cheek against the earthbender’s chest.

He fell asleep once again to the calming rise and fall of Jaemin’s chest with his breath ghosting over his face and slender fingers delicately combing through his hair. He felt truly at peace. Or maybe he was just dreaming.

 

“Are you feeling better now?” The kind woman asked Renjun when he stumbled out of the room to find her bustling around the kitchen. From a glance out the doorway, it was sometime in the late afternoon. He’d just woken up again, headache and stomachache a distant memory, and the spot Jaemin had been laying in, empty and cold.

“Yeah, I really am. Th-thank you, for everything,” he said, offering a grateful smile. She returned it, round cheeks lifting up happily and continued to shuffle around the small kitchen, preparing what Renjun guessed would be dinner.

He stepped outside and ran straight into Jaemin who was just walking back in. Their chests collided and Jaemin jumped back, letting out a startled yelp. But his face lit up upon seeing Renjun and he tried to make eye contact, which Renjun promptly ignored. 

“Sorry,” Renjun mumbled and pushed past the other boy.

“Wait, Renjun!”

He stopped and turned to find Jaemin standing directly behind him, leaning into his face.

The memory of what he had hoped had been a dream was thrown to the front of his mind and all he could see were those soft lips. He forced his eyes to look elsewhere.

“Where are you going? If Mrs. Cho sent you to get the fruits from the vendor I got them already,” he assured, reaching out and resting a hand on Renjun’s shoulder. Renjun flinched, hard, and almost knocked himself over backwards.

Surprise and then sone thing deeper flashed in Jaemin’s eyes but was quickly masked. Jaemin pretended as if the last five seconds hadn't happened and arched an eyebrow, reminding Renjun of his question.

“N-no, I was just getting some fresh air. I feel a lot better so… yeah,” he explained, looking away from the earthbender’s strong gaze, only to let his own drop back to Jaemin's lips. He cursed himself and looked away entirely, turning to walk away. Jaemin hummed quietly and nodded.

“That’s cool, I’ll join you after I drop these off, if you want?” He offered. And who was Renjun to say no to someone who’d just nursed him back to health.

Jaemin disappeared inside and reappeared a moment later with a broad grin and followed after Renjun. They just walked around, checking out the vendor who offered to trade meat for vegetables and herbs collected from the forest. Renjun made a mental note to ask later if he accepted money, since that was all Renjun could use.

It was silent between the two boys, both caught up in their own world and thoughts, though the glances they snuck at each other didn’t go unnoticed.

A million thoughts were swimming in Renjun’s mind and finding the appropriate words to speak them had never been so hard. So he didn’t.

Eventually they found themselves back at the forest’s edge, staring into the lush green and long shadows casted by the setting sun.

“You know, I think I got sick from the water, as odd as that sounds,” Renjun finally said, gathering Jaemin’s full attention. “I had a really bad stomach ache in addition to my headache, which must’ve been because of the different minerals or bacteria found in the freshwater around here,” he reasoned. Jaemin was silent for a second before he responded.

“That… would make sense. Considering you’ve been drinking only from what you brought with you, I guess that’s why. But better now than back in the middle of nowhere, right?”

Renjun nodded. “Um, and, uh, th-thanks again. I know you could’ve easily just left me to die or find my own way but you didn’t. You chose to stay and take care of me, something I was very wary and um…” _I think I’m starting to trust you a little more now._

But he didn’t say this out loud. How could he? Jaemin was doing something to him and he didn’t know what it was. 

He’d had spent a grand total of... was it six... days with Jaemin but it felt like so much longer and yet, like they’d just met yesterday. And here he was, ready to confess his trust in the other boy. It didn't take a genius to know his judgement was skewed, but what could he do about it?

He felt that addressing the the kiss... god did they really kiss?... was a good start. Yet kisses involved feelings, whether romantic or platonic, so did that one not count or...? Were there feelings? Could he still trust him? How could Jaemin have just-

He was over analyzing. But he _needed_ answers. 

"It was no problem," Jaemin reassured, drawing him from his mind.

"A-are you sure? It's just... I'm sorry, I was so out of it... I hope I wasn't too much trouble," he babbled, trying to navigate to the topic that had been eating him alive. 

"Renjun," Jaemin said firmly, "it was no problem. Really, you were sick and I was just being a good friend and taking care of you. There was nothing more to it."

It took longer than it should've for everything to sink in. Renjun gathered what he could from it and pressed his lips together, nodding stiffly. 

"Good to know."

They returned to the hut without another word to each other and Jaemin laid down on the ground without hesitation, rolling over and closing his eyes. All Renjun could do was return to the kitchen and offer his assistance to Mrs. Cho. He should've felt lighter to have that all sorted out. But _something_  had put him off. 

 

Renjun rose early with Jaemin curled up on the ground, still fast asleep. A quiet sigh left his lips as he climbed out of the bed and shuffled outside, searching for the vendors. 

"Ay!" 

Renjun ignored it, assuming it wasn't him.

"Yeah, you!" 

An older man, perhaps close to his father's age, was leaning over a fruit stand and pointing at Renjun. He raised a brow and looked the man over, but remained in his spot. 

"You lookin' for somethin?" He spoke with a heavy accent, heavier than Mrs. Cho's or Jaemin's, and appeared to be missing teeth. His skin was dark like a coconut shell and his clothes looked like they'd been used as rags. Renjun didn't need to think twice about whether he'd buy from this man or not. 

"Not around here, no," he replied and continued on his way.

"Ay! Wait up, kid! I got somethin' to tell ya!" 

Renjun sighed, turning on his heel to head back towards the man. 

“Yes, sir?”

“C’mere,” the man rasped, leaning even farther over the rickety, wooden stand.

Renjun walked up and looked down at the man, unamused.

"Yer _fire nation_ _,”_   he hissed, pointing a crooked finger at Renjun’s chest where his vivid red robes lay neatly over his torso.

“Why there so many of ya fire nation boys comin' through the earth kingdom? I done seen yer friends! You be plannin' somethin?”

Renjun barely suppressed a sigh. The man had bombarded him with questions and things that didn’t make sense. It was too early to deal with that.

He just nodded and gave a tight smile, turning and walking to a different stand. This time the man didn’t try to yell after him.

“He was right, y’know,” a lady said to him as he picked through the dried vegetables at her stand. “A lotta y’alls been comin' through. Yer the second one I've done seen in the last week or so.”

Renjun forced down the rising irritation and plastered on a fake smile before moving away to the next stand. Whether the irritation was more directed at his father for not telling him about whatever he had planned in the Earth Kingdom or simply for the fact that he couldn’t shop in peace, he wasn’t sure. So he ignored it.

He bought food and began to walk back to the hut, trying his best to ignore the curious stares and pressing questions thrown his way.

“Renjun!” Jaemin poked his head out from the doorway as he approached, grinning and waving. Renjun forced a small smile and pushed past Jaemin into the house. He also tried his best to ignore the look Jaemin gave him. Was it… hurt? No, that would’ve been too personal. It must've been confusion, based on how Jaemin left the hut without a second thought.

He dumped his stuff on the bed and walked back out into the kitchen to be greeted by Mrs. Cho and her signature cheerful smile. She waddled across the small space and shoved a bowl into Renjun’s hands, chattering about what a pleasure it had been to have him and Jaemin with her and how she’d miss them both terribly. It took everything in Renjun to maintain an indifferent expression when he looking into the bowl and watched the clumpy, gelatinous porridge jiggle in a shallow pool of murky water.

She meant well, he told himself as he sat down at their table and carefully scooped out a chunk on his fingertips.

“Renjun,” Jaemin’s voice drifted in moments before he appeared in the doorway, giving Renjun a nice distraction from the questionable porridge. But it sounded… off. It sounded panicked and desperate with undertones of anger. There was a slight tremor in his voice and a subdued sharpness lurked just below the surface that twisted Renjun’s gut in a very bad way.

“Why the hell would you do that?!” He growled loudly, storming over to the firebender.

Renjun could only stare in shock as Jaemin’s hand came down over the side of his face and he felt a familiar stinging warmth spread over his cheek.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of all the thoughts tumbling through his head at lightning speed, the most prominent was, "why?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not very happy with this one :c characterization probably gets a bit patchy again terribly sorry.......  
> there's plot and fun stuff at the end so that's a plus i guess...

“I thought you were better than that!” Jaemin shouted at him, disregarding Mrs. Cho’s weak attempts to calm him down. His voice was rising and his normally calm gaze was burning with rage. “God, I should’ve _known_  you were no better than the rest!”

Renjun was still reeling from the slap Jaemin had mercilessly dealt. It wasn’t the worst pain he’d ever felt, oh no. But the sheer anger behind the slap had been so sudden and unexpected, Renjun didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Really?! Because they’re _poor_  you decide to do that?! Because they asked you a single fucking question?! Because you think you're better than them?!” Jaemin was still yelling at him, jabbing a finger in Renjun’s face to punctuate ever syllable. His face had darkened but there was still an underlying presence of disbelief in his eyes, like he didn’t want to believe it himself.

Jaemin was breathing heavily at the end of his rant, which Renjun caught maybe three words of through the pure panic and dread that flooded his head. He looked expectantly at the firebender, waiting for some type of retaliation or denial.

Renjun took a deep breath and stood from his seat. He’d never dealt with rage as explosive as Jaemin’s - his father preferred a muted approach consisting of withering glares, low growls and soul crushing insults - but he had to try.

He opened his mouth, forcing his hands not to shake and his voice to hold steady. “I don’t understand where this is coming from, I did nothing wrong-”

“Don’t play dumb, you fucking know that wasn’t right! It was completely ungrounded and cruel and-”

“Jaemin, I swear, I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Don’t fucking play dumb! Whatever the fuck was running through your mind-”

“Would you let me talk?!”

“I don’t wanna hear some half-assed excuse! You can’t excuse shit like that!”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

“Fuck you and your fire! If you’re gonna be like this we can’t do this anymore! Don’t-”

“Can you please listen to me?!” Renjun’s vision was slowly turning red as each second passed and the old but not forgotten feeling of his blood steaming and bubbling in his veins, spread like a flame devouring a dry leaf. Jaemin’s gaze wavered for half a second before it was stone cold again, staring him down like he wasn’t the prince of the Fire Nation. Like he couldn’t burn down the village and all of the people in it to the ground in seconds flat.

Mrs. Cho’s wailing had subsided, or she had left. Renjun was only aware of a boy glaring at him with open hostility. The room’s temperature had reached a sweltering degree in the short time they’d been going back and forth and Renjun didn’t care enough to try and control it. Jaemin had no right to make false accusations for whatever the fuck he was so livid about.

“Did you even see what you did?! Fucking brutal Renjun, dear lord you’re just like every other firebender out there!” He started again, just as strong as before. But the last comment stung.

Before he knew it, he had Jaemin’s shirt clutched in his fist and he was dragging the boy against himself, raising his other hand to the boy’s face, cutting into Jaemin’s wide eyes with his own narrowed, fiery pair.  

“Listen carefully,” Renjun growled in a low tone voice he never found himself using before. Was Jaemin shaking or was he shaking? “I did nothing wrong. If you’re not going to be able to communicate effectively, I’ll have to agree with you, we can’t do this anymore. I’m giving you time to calm yourself down and then we can talk like civilized people.”

He shoved Jaemin back, letting go of his shirt and stormed out to piece it together himself.

“O-oh... there he is! The firebender!” A woman cried, sounding absolutely devastated. Renjun’s head snapped to the voice and found several people gathered around a woman seated on a dusty stump in the center of the dirt road, all glaring daggers at him.Their faces were smudged with black and their clothes released whisps of smoke curling into the air.

“Get yer sorry ass outta here before I drive you out myself!” A man hollered at Renjun, who remained unfazed on the outside, though he was seething on the inside. He was going to try and get to the bottom of this. He approached the people, determination spiking.

“What seems to be the issue?” He addressed the woman, forcing an even tone.

She flinched away from him and cradled her right arm up to her chest, hiding it in the folds of her dress. “I- I’m not- wh-” She couldn't even talk though her tears and blubbering. Her hair smelled acrid and though her blubbering she was coughing harshly.

“She said get lost, punk,” another man growled, cracking his knuckles. Renjun felt more than mildly threatened.

“If you could explain to me what happened, maybe I can help,” he offered, wincing internally at how fake his voice sounded. He'd never been good at lying. 

“N-no…” the woman sniffled, continuing to wail as the men and kids around her stared at him, eyes mixed with fear, hatred and sadness.

Renjun squinted. 

“I said get lost! Ya burned my entire fuckin house down!” The first man roared at him, lunging forward. Renjun leapt back and brought his hands up on instinct.

“Oh, so ya gonna burn me too, huh? Is that how this works? Gon burn me to the ground to a pile of ash?!” The man hollered, throwing a wildly inaccurate punch at the air between them. “Fuckin Fire Nation trash!”

Renjun felt himself slowly crumbling on the inside. He had never burned a single person, let alone someone’s entire property in his entire life. They were making up lies and his blood began to boil again. Rude, ignorant, stubborn people never failed to rub Renjun the wrong way.

When his father would yell at him, it would be crystal clear where he’d slipped up and how badly. There was no messed up guessing game or false accusations.

He didn’t know what do do. Apologizing would be admitting he’d done something wrong, and he’d done nothing of the sort. Taking the man up on his threats would reinforce their idea that he was a barbaric and savage firebender. And trying to push farther would undoubtedly end up with someone hurt.

So he bolted. His flight response took over and he sped back to the hut, snatched up his belongings and threw a hasty apology over his shoulder at Mrs. Cho, completely ignoring Jaemin’s shouts at him, before bolting from the place.

Renjun ran away from the village, away from the infuriating villagers, away from the threats and away from Jaemin. Fuck them all, he didn’t need anyone. It had been a huge mistake from the start even approaching Jaemin.

He ran until his legs were burning and felt like rubber and didn’t even stop then. He ran over the dry, dusty earth in the blazing sun, even when he could feel his sweat running down his neck and pooling at the dip in his back, hair plastered to his forehead. He ran even when he lost all sense of direction and everything around him looked exactly the same through the hot tears gathering in his eyes, but never falling. His eyes must’ve been watering from the dry air... yeah, that was it.

He ran away for the first time in his life, because he could. He had the freedom to run away in the vast, open plains where no one would know. And all the while, his mind was numb, thinking of nothing more than getting away as fast as possible. 

It might’ve been hours until he finally stopped in a stretch of woodland - smaller than the area he’d passed through with Jaemin - seeking reprieve from the sun. He collapsed under a tree not far from the forest’s edge and laid in the brush. His blood could be felt pulsing through every vein and every artery in his body while his heart hammered in his quickly rising and falling chest.

Sweat trickled down the side of his face and a bug buzzed by his ear, but he couldn’t find the energy to deal with either of them.

Time passed and steadily, a small pit of guilt dug into his stomach, but he squashed any thoughts and feelings questioning his actions before he could doubt himself. He didn’t have time or energy to deal with any of that. What he needed was water.

He strained to push himself to his feet, legs as heavy as weights. He stumbled through the undergrowth, searching for any sign of water. The sound of a stream or the sight of a brook, anything.

He was too exhausted to care about the rustling getting progressively louder and closer to him. What did it matter anyways, he already disappointed his father long ago and Kun wasn’t anywhere to be found and with Jaemin gone, he had no clue where the next closest village or town was.

Oh, Jaemin. He’d been doing his absolute best to forget the boy and everything that had happened with him. The boy whose sweet smile held so many secrets, whose concerningly skinny frame was still capable of skillful earthbending, whose past was a hidden as Renjun’s emotions and whose lips had been the first on Renjun’s.

Renjun stomped out the thought of Jaemin before his mind could travel to a dangerous place where emotions deeper and more personal than happiness and sadness resided.

The rustling had stopped abruptly and so did Renjun as he slowly scanned the area for any signs of danger.

Nothing.

So he continued on his way.

He’d gotten maybe two steps from where he’d stopped when something jumped out of the brush, crashing into him and sending him to the ground in a panicked tangle of limbs.

He landed on his back with a hard thud but had his hands raised in no time, shoving against anywhere he could reach on his attacker. A pair of slim yet powerful hands seized each of his wrists and he felt his stomach drop with dread. The person, he’d figured out, was much stronger and bigger, having no problem with pinning Renjun’s wrists just above his head as they stared down at him, eyes sharp and focused.

Renjun wasn’t giving up that easily though. He slipped his right knee up between their bodies, bringing it to his chest and pushed at the other person with every muscle in his leg to try and throw them off. Their bodies separated only slightly and all the attacker gave was a soft grunt before their hold on Renjun’s wrists tightened.

“Hey, hey!” A man’s voice shouted at him as he thrashed in their grip. Renjun had abandoned all rationale and was focused solely on getting out and going somewhere far, far away. 

“Hey, easy killer,” his attacker soothed in a deceptively sweet voice for the position they had him in. Renjun gritted his teeth and snarled up at the man whose face and body he’d just gotten a glimpse of.

The man had shaggy, black hair that was grown down to cover the tips of his ears, with dirt and leaves strewn throughout. His eyes were a deep amber and blazed with a passion and determination Renjun could recognize in an instant, though not quite label. It was so strong that he could feel the intensity of his gaze burning into his own less than confident one.

A long strip of coarse looking cloth had been slung over one of his shoulders, leaving the other bare, and wrapped down and across his chest, wrapping around his abdomen and layered downwards to where the hem hung just above his knees. Tattered and mud stained, brown pants stopped halfway down his ankles and sandals with straps wrapping up and around his lower calves were worn and dark in color.

Renjun buried any and all fear to keep his voice steady. “If you’re going to kill me, get it over with already.”

The man’s eyebrow raised slightly and his mouth hung open in a silent 'uh' without emitting any sound. “I-I’m not gonna kill you… I… shit, I messed up,” he huffed, looking away. He peeled his fingers from Renjun’s wrists and stood up, still straddling the boy’s waist but no longer sitting on him. Renjun picked up on his lack of an accent, unlike the previous people he’d encountered in the Earth kingdom. He narrowed his eyes slightly.

“I-I thought you were one of the... the Fire Nation soldiers…” The man mumbled.

Fire Nation soldiers? In this part? How could he believe something like that?

“Well, I’m not,” he muttered, sitting up and brushing himself off.

“But you  _are_ Fire Nation,” the man observed. “So if you’re not a soldier, then what are you doing out here?” The glow in his eyes had dimmed slightly, though the familiarity was still detectable about it was driving Renjun mad with frustration. He couldn’t pinpoint where he recognized it from.

“And?”

The man’s lips pressed together. “So you’re not safe in these areas dressed like that.”

Renjun heaved a sigh. Of course that’s why the man had attacked him, because he was dressed like a Fire Nation citizen deep within the Earth Kingdom. It always had to boil down to his nationality, didn’t it? That’s why he was just driven out of the village, right?

“Yeah, well, I can’t do anything about it,” he muttered, slowly pushing himself to his feet with a grunt. "I'm just trying to find water for now, so I'll be on my way..."

The man watched as Renjun straightened himself up and retrieved his small bag that had flown from his grasp during the attack.

“I can help you with that, both the clothes and the water,” the man offered and Renjun tensed. The last time he’d accepted help from someone in the Earth Kingdom it had lead him to this exact spot. “If you want,” he added at Renjun’s hesitation.

He seemed willing to help and obviously deemed Renjun to be an unthreatening figure, so what harm could it do? He was starting to get a little more used to meeting open and trusting people in the Earth Kingdom. And it would serve as a nice distraction from... everything.

“Tell me more.”

The man jumped at Renjun’s reply but pulled himself together to offer a small smile. “I can get you clothes to help you blend in more, I’m sure you don’t need any more convincing beyond that.”

He had a point. So Renjun traced his tongue over his teeth in thought before nodding.

“Sure.”

“Follow me then.”

 

“The name’s Yuta, by the way,” the man said as he lead Renjun through the forest.

“Renjun,” he replied quietly.

“I’ve lived here for awhile now, but sometimes I travel around. Not like this though, I dress in Fire Nation garb or more appropriate Earth kingdom clothing,” he said, walking easily along the many twists and turns through the trees.

“Fire Nation…?”

“Err.. yeah, just if I need, uh, to visit one of the colonies, y’know?” Yuta halted, holding up a hand as he stood as still as a rock and waited. “Okay,” he decided, and continued on his way.

Renjun didn’t bother questioning it, trusting his abilities to get him out of a dangerous situation if need be. But he still felt the need for some type of confirmation.

“Are you taking me to your cave where you’ll crush my hands and then my skull with your boulders?” He asked, slowing.

Yuta snorted. “I don’t earthbend and no, you’ve given me no reason to hurt you.”

Renjun hummed, satisfied enough.

Yuta didn’t talk after that, though he stole nervous glances at the boy every now and again.

“Home sweet home,” he announced, walking up to the mouth of a cave tunneling into the ground. “We had to relocate on short notice so don’t mind the clutter,” he said before sliding down the slope expertly. Renjun followed, picking his way more carefully down the smooth incline of dirt.

Underground it was cool and musty with scattered holes poked through the earth to let sunlight in. But other than the scarce sunlight, there were no other methods of illumination which lead Renjun to wonder what they did when it got dark out. The space had a low roof and was wide and rectangular with tunnels branching out from the main entrance. It was like a colony of ants, just instead of insects there were people. The walls and ground were smooth,  likely carved out by earthbenders.

Yuta retrieved a hollowed gourd of water from somewhere within the buzzing lobby-type space and handed it to Renjun. “This way,” he instructed, leading Renjun down a tunnel to their right. 

People passed them, all dressed similarly to Yuta, offering small smiles and nods. Renjun kept a blank face as he was lead farther underground, though the slowly building panic was inevitably going to become more than he could ignore. The tunnels, though unlit, were too similar to the dungeons beneath the palace.

“Here we are,” Yuta announced, turning down into a doorway that lacked a door. Renjun followed close behind and swallowed, looking around.

There were perhaps a dozen women sitting on stools at spinning wheels or looms, weaving together strands of yarn for clothing and created a sort of melody in their work.

Scrape. Scrape. Click. Whirr.

Yuta greeted them each with a small bow as he passed them, moving to the far corner where yards upon yards of clothes and fabrics had been stacked.

“Uh… just, uh, pick a color you like or whatever and I’ll see what I can do for you,” he offered with a friendly smile.

Renjun dug through the fabrics, finding some olive green pants already crafted and a long roll of taupe colored calico. It was course and not as well made as the industry silks from the Fire Nation but it would have to do.

He gathered them up and shoved them into Yuta’s chest, nodding his head once. Yuta gave a small grin and lead Renjun out, back into the tunnels.

In a smaller room Yuta approached a woman with grey hair and many wrinkles running through her face, and kindly asked her to craft a shirt of Renjun chosen fabric. She gave a broad, toothless smile and nodded, happily setting to work. Renjun wondered how anyone could work such intricate and small stitches in the dark but didn't get the chance to ask. 

“I’ll lead you out and wait with you until she finishes, since you’re not actually allowed down here,” Yuta said, exiting swiftly and disappearing into the shadows of the tunnel. Renjun hurried after him, not bothering to question any of it.

At the surface, a nice breeze rushed through Renjun’s hair, filling his lungs with fresh air. His heartbeat began to slow and he relaxed, taking a seat against a nearby trunk.

“So, what are you really out here for?” Yuta asked slowly, eyeing Renjun’s hands as he fiddled with a stick.

“That’s private.”

“I see…” Yuta heaved a deep sigh and sat down not too far, facing Renjun. They sat in silence, neither having anything they needed to say.

Eventually, Yuta broke the silence. “Are you a firebender?”

“Does it matter?” He shot back, raising a challenging brow.

“I mean, kinda. If you’re here with the Fire Nation army and you’re a child soldier, it kinda makes a huge difference.”

Renjun looked down and nodded slowly, aligning his thoughts into words before speaking. “I’m not here with the army, I didn’t even know the army was in the Earth Kingdom,” he said, an edge creeping into his voice at the end. “I can firebend but I won’t hurt you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Yuta thought about Renjun’s words, blinking a few times before responding. “I’m not worried about you hurting me. And I asked if you were in the army because I need to know you won’t turn me in for deserting.”

Renjun’s head shot up. “You’re a deserter? You served the Fire Nation?” Suddenly he was hit with the realization of where Yuta's deep, smoldering, amber gaze had seemed so familiar and yet so unlike the standard deep green or dirt brown eyes of the Earth Kingdom citizens. He was from the Fire Nation too. 

The way Yuta's eyes widened and his mouth fell open slightly only to be covered by his hand a moment later was enough to say that he hadn’t noticed that Renjun hadn’t known.

“I… yeah. I did for a while actually,” Yuta confessed, lifting his arm for Renjun to see. With a slender finger, he traced over the Fire Nation insignia that had been burned into the inner part of his forearm, a scar forever a part of him. He sighed heavily. Renjun still winced slightly upon the sight of the royal marking seared into the skin of the soldiers.

“I had to leave though… things became so rough when we received orders to take any and all villages we came across…” His voice had dropped low, and his eyes were downcast. “I was forced to use my power to tear down the lives people worked so hard to build and I couldn’t do that. Not when I was causing so much suffering. I’d enlisted to help _protect_  my nation, even if it meant attacking another. But these people did nothing wrong and we enslaved them and their friends after burning their homes to the ground.” He took a deep, shuddering breath, pressing his lips into a thin line.

Renjun leaned forward, completely unaware that such things had been happening in the Earth Kingdom. He’d known that they’d been establishing Fire Nation colonies in the more remote locations within the Earth Kingdom but he hadn’t known the full story. It was like seeing color for the first time, hearing Yuta recount his time in the military.

“There was no pride in stripping the lives people had worked so hard to create for themselves, and no one else seemed to care about the people, so I left. I snuck out one night when we were patrolling and escaped into this forest. Ang Lee found me then, and took me under his wing, bringing me into his community here and I’ve served under his orders since.”

“Do you miss it? The Fire Nation?” Renjun asked carefully.

Yuta pondered the idea for no more than a second. “Yes. I miss the more familiar tongue and food and I miss my family and the friends I left behind. But I know I’m happier here.”

Renjun bit his lip and nodded, not bothering to brush away the hair that fell into his eyes. “Are you sure about that? That you’re happier here?”

Yuta looked him over before sighing. “Happier than I would’ve been in the Fire Nation, definitely. But not the happiest I’ve been or could be, I don't think.”

“What’s missing for you then?” Renjun asked quietly. He swallowed down the feelings building with each passing second he thought about what could’ve been and what might be. The time he’d spent traveling with Jaemin had been so refreshing, though his feet were probably permanently sore and blistered, that he didn’t know what would happen when he found Kun and went back home. Perhaps Yuta could help. 

“Someone to love me,” he said firmly, though wistful. Renjun blinked. “I love my new family, don’t get me wrong, but they don’t love me. They _can’t_  love me, not after all that I’ve done. They still look at me with distrust and sometimes anger, though it’s been over a year. I’ve made very few friends but other than that, no one cares too much about me, not in that way.”

They both fell silent, working though their thoughts on their own. Many minutes passed in silence, though Renjun didn’t mind and he used the time to pull himself together again.

“So… now you ambush your former comrades?”

Yuta gave a sharp laugh, almost like a bark. “Oh, well I guess when you put it like that… Yes, yes I do. But mind you, the Fire Nation depends on wood imported from other countries. If they were to take this forest, my community would have nowhere to live so I defend it with my life. It’s the least I can do for them.”

“You seem like a great guy,” Renjun commented. “It’s a shame you ended up ever serving the Fire Nation under the wretched Fire Lord.”

“Oh, I do what I can to make up for my past mistakes. But I don’t know too much about the Fire Lord, only that he doesn’t seem to care about anyone, not even his own people sometimes.”

Renjun struggled to maintain a straight face and he nodded tersely. “I get that. I… I actually was sent out on a mission relating to the Fire Lord - don’t worry, I won’t report you or anything. I hate him too.”

A weight lifted from his chest as he spoke the words he never could before. Granted, the Fire Lord was his father but never acted as a father should, he knew that much. He hated his father. His father was the reason Kun ran away and the reason why Renjun was out looking to bring him home.

“Do you still firebend?” Renjun asked, switching gears. Yuta nodded solemnly.

“When I fight off the soldiers, I use my firebending to block their blows and sometimes to scare them off, as if a random Earth Kingdom villager could suddenly possess the power to firebend,” he said, a grin pulling his lips up as he spoke. “But never around the others.”

They sat for a while longer, exchanging few words for the rest of the time until Yuta rose and brushed off his pants, beckoning Renjun to follow him back down. He changed quickly, stuffing his old outfit into his small bag. The pants were a bit large and baggy and reached about midway on his calves, but with a thick twist of scrap fabric, he was able to secure them around his waist. He tucked the loose fitting, tan shirt into his pants and spun around once for Yuta to examine.

“The shirt doesn’t really fit your body, are you okay with that?” Yuta asked, to which Renjun just shrugged. He was used to having personally tailored clothes but a little change couldn’t hurt.

“No, I don’t want to cause you anymore trouble than I already have.” He looked down at the plain, olive green fabric hanging over his torso and decided it didn’t matter what he really looked like. The woman had styled it to have sleeves that reached down to his elbows and a small, sharp dip in the neckline off center on his chest, to make it easier to put on and take off, as Yuta explained. “I like it.”

She beamed at him, waving kindly as Yuta lead him out and back up to the surface. He followed Yuta through the woods to a small clearing that was striped with the shadows of the trees reaching across the grass glowing in the sunset.

“It’s getting late and I don’t think you want to travel just yet, so you can stay out here if you’d like and I’ll stand watch,” Yuta offered, turning to look at Renjun.

He sighed quietly. He needed to get moving but at the same time, a little rest couldn’t do any harm.

“I’ll rest up for a minute I think but I don’t think I can stay the night in his forest. I should get going, I just need to figure out where to though…”

Yuta nodded and took a seat on the ground. “Well, I can point you in the general direction of things but I can’t do much more than that, sorry. If you want to keep your distance from the Fire Nation and in the same direction you were headed, go up towards that hill-y looking area, there’s a large town just on the other side of them.”

“Uh, th-thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good, but get some sleep. Don’t worry, I’ll stand watch,” Yuta promised. Renjun gave him a small smile and laid down, pretending to fall asleep. He didn’t trust Yuta _that_  much.

But eventually, his eyelids began to droop and his breath began to slow, and soon he was peacefully resting with his head propped up on his stuffed bag in mindless bliss.

 

He woke suddenly to loud rumbling noises and shouts. In one swift motion, he jumped up and ducked into a fighting stance, heart racing and eyes sharp. It was dark and the only light was that of the moon but an orange glow caught his eye. He jumped, mind drawing a blank on what could possibly be happening.

Yuta was nowhere to be seen in the clearing but he heard a loud shout from Yuta somewhere not far followed by more orange and yellow flashes. The rumbling and crunching of what sounded like stones got progressively louder too.

He sprinted over, heart beating wildly with fear. Was Yuta hurt? Had the Fire Nation found him? Were the angry villagers out to kill him? He hurdled over a fallen tree and lit up his fingertips, letting vibrant flames engulf his hands up to his wrists, completely immune to the heat of his own flame.

He ducked behind a trunk and slowly peaked around, eyes searching frantically for any sign of Yuta.

“I said stop or you’re going to get hurt!” Yuta shouted loudly, accompanied by a whoosh of fire. Renjun caught the light again and sped towards it, keeping a low crouch to maintain the element of surprise, a tactic his father loved.

There was no response, only more rumbling and a loud grunt.

“You have to listen to me, he’s fine!” Yuta tried again, sounding out of breath and desperate, leaving Renjun wondering how long the fight had been going on for. Another whoosh of fire and he followed the light, staying low still.

The glow around his hands intensified as the the sounds of fighting getting closer and closer with each step. His heart pounded harder and harder in his chest and his stomach twisted. He’d never killed a person before, would this be his first? 

Another whoosh of fire and the entire flame shooting from Yuta’s foot was in sight. He was very close.

A shadow dodged the flame, sliding into a striking distance from Renjun.

He steeled his nerves and cleared his head, charging from the shadows and aimed low, whisking the person’s feet from under them with an expert, spinning sweep kick. They barely had time to let out a short grunt when they hit the forest floor before Renjun had a knee firmly planted and digging into their chest with his fiery fists poised above their face.

But in the light of his flames, his stomach dropped and his heart stopped. His throat went dry and an odd fluttery sensation filled his chest.

Shit.

 

 

 

 

"We've confirmed residency, general." 

The ghost of a smile played over his lips but he didn't acknowledge the messenger until he'd exhaled deeply, letting the flames dancing on the candles shrink with his breath. 

"Lovely, absolutely lovely. Ready the men, we rise at dawn."

 

 

 

 

"They're coming..." a tall shadow rumbled, voice deep and smooth. Rocks juggled in the air, levitating above his palm as he swirled his fingers around in a circular motion, letting the earth mold at his command. 

A smaller figure that had been staring out into the great expanse of the grasslands from the border line of trees marking the forest let his eyes flutter open and he turned to face the figure, placing a hand on their chest. "And we'll be waiting for them." 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine a tornado funneling from a monster hurricane filled with all of the feelings you’ve ever felt for a special person tumbling through your mind...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you get a LOT of action so i hope that balances the poor writing out?? :/

“You look good in green,” Jaemin commented. Renjun scowled silently. After nearly burning Jaemin’s face off, he’d fallen off of the boy, completely speechless. It had taken a great deal of calming down on Yuta’s part to bring both of their hostility levels far enough down to where they could stand at the treeline of the forest near each other without lighting up fireballs or ripping boulders out of the ground to throw at each other.

“How’d you find me?”

“I really like this place though, other than that creep, it’s a beautiful forest.”

“Jaemin,” he cautioned in a warning tone.

“‘Oh, right, nice to see you too Jaemin,’” Jaemin mocked, “‘you didn’t suffer from heat cramps did you?’ Well, funny you should ask, Renjun. I happened to almost, but not quite, suffer from heat cramps during the time I spent chasing your footprints throughout entire day, running in the heat.”

“ _Jaemin,”_ he said again, distinctly more hostile and irritated.

Jaemin gave a quiet huff and out of the corner of his eye Renjun could notice him shaking his head slightly. “Intuition.”

“Answer the question seriously Jaemin, I’m not in the mood,” Renjun forced out through gritted teeth.

“I’m being serious!” He protested. “I literally felt my feet telling me someone had been this way. Well, not this way exactly and not in that way exactly, I first found the forest and then the underground village and _then_  I found you here and that creep standing over your body,” he spat the word creep like a curse, jabbing his thumb back into the forest where Yuta had retreated into so they could talk things out.

“Yuta’s not a creep.” Renjun stated plainly. Jaemin’s words of how he’d found him seemed oversimplified, but Renjun couldn’t be bothered to dig deeper. “Why’d you come? Go have fun with your friends who drove me out.”

Jaemin’s posture straightened against the tree and he approached Renjun from the side but stopped an arms length away.

“The only person in that entire village I would even consider calling my friend was you. Maybe Mrs. Cho but that’s under different circumstances. Renjun, I care about you more than them which is why I chased after you to apologize.” He sounded dead serious and genuinely disappointed in himself but spoke quietly. Despite the genuine feeling from his voice, Renjun stood his ground.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Jaemin sighed quietly. “I-I found something I needed you to see. I brought it but left all of my other things at the village, assuming you’d come back… it’s kinda serious... I think,” Jaemin explained, voice a steady volume once again. 

“You assumed wrong, I have somewhere to be. Can’t afford any time to go back no matter what it is.” Renjun drifted away from Jaemin, moving back farther into the forest. But Jaemin followed.

“Look, if it’s because they didn’t like you or because I yelled at you I’m sorry about that but that can’t be fixed now. Just... trust me that it’s important and let me show you…” Jaemin said and Renjun tensed considerably at his words. He had the nerve to ask Renjun to trust him? After he turned on him so fast without letting him explain?

“Why did you get so mad?” He asked quietly instead. “Never gave me a chance to defend myself and you even slapped me, in case you’ve forgotten already,” Renjun pressed, voice cold and unyielding.

“Renjun I said I was sorry about that, please forgive me. I can’t- listen, if I tell you now that I believe that you did nothing wrong does that make you feel better?”

“It’s not like you care how I feel, you just need me to go with you for whatever it is that you screwed up,” Renjun shot at him. Jaemin’s short, disbelieving huff was loud enough for him to hear.

“What makes you think that I don’t care about how you feel? Couldn’t have possibly have been how I lended you my guidance while asking for nothing but trust in return, or how I didn’t press you when you withdrew for two days, or how I took care of you in your illness, or how I even kissed you, huh? Couldn’t have possibly have been any of those things, right?" He shouted, exasperated.

Renjun’s heart jumped up in his throat. Those were all true and valid points - though there was one in particular he chose to pointedly push from his mind - but he was still hurting, badly. “You broke my trust when you slapped me and scared my spirit from my body. You broke my trust when you didn’t believe me. You said it yourself too, we’re supposed to be in this together but you weren’t there for me.”

“Renjun… I’m sorry if what I said and did broke your trust… and I’m sorry you felt like you had no other choice but to run… but please come back? Please come back to me? I promise, I can explain everything to you but I just need you to forgive me, please…” The desperation in his voice was enough to make Renjun give in. But he didn’t, not yet.

Renjun swallowed the lump in his throat. “Answer the question. Why did you get so mad?”

Jaemin threw his hands up and huffed, turning away for a minute. “B-because that’s happened to me before. Not-not exactly, but I’ve had everything I loved stripped away from me more times than I can count on my fingers. I felt so bad for them and I- I just didn’t understand anything about it.” His voice steadily decreased in volume until it was no louder than a whisper.

Renjun didn’t look at Jaemin, knowing he’d fall right back into the boy’s arms if he did. 

“What did you find?” He asked, willing to hear Jaemin out. But Jaemin’s gaze still burned into him.

“Renjun, please don’t run away from me again. I’m sorry about everything I said and did, I need you to forgive me. You’re the only person in my whole life that I’ve come across and wanted to stay with. Please…” his voice cracked and dropped to such a low whisper Renjun barely caught the last few words.

“Answer the question Jaemin,” he evaded. But Jaemin wouldn’t let him get away again.

“Renjun are you even listening to me? I’m- do you know how hard it is for me to accept that maybe I want to be more than a _tour guide_  to you? I had all day to think this over… and my answer hasn’t changed. I’m telling you this now, why aren’t you listening to me?” Jaemin’s voice rose at the end this time, frustration and confusion building.

Renjun walked farther back into the woods. How can he answer that? “I am listening to you.”

“Really? Because it sure doesn’t feel like it,” Jaemin stated, forcing a neutral tone but his anger still bled through regardless. Jaemin sounded hurt and his instincts told him to forgive the boy and pull him close to tell him that it was alright and he never meant to hurt his feelings. 

Renjun took a deep breath. He couldn’t go down that road, because there was no way back. “I’m listening to you but I’m choosing not to dwell on what you said,” he said slowly, picking his words like he would through a field of thorns.

If looks could kill, Renjun would’ve died long ago at the eyes of his father, but when he looked into Jaemin’s eyes he was stabbed through the heart by unbridled disappointment, bewilderment and pain. His eyes glistened in the moonlight and threatened to cut through Renjun’s defenses. Renjun would’ve died from guilt by looking into Jaemin’s eyes.

“Jaemin…” He began slowly, regretting his choice of words already, only for Jaemin to cut him off.

“Don’t. Don’t try that. You just told me how upset you where when I wouldn’t listen to you and now you’re ignoring me like that?”

“Jaemin-”

“Fuck and to think I was actually starting to trust you like this, just for you to step on me like that?!”

“Jaemin we would never be able to be more than- than this! Than acquaintances or- or whatever!” Renjun shouted into the night, watching the fire in Jaemin’s eyes extinguish. “I can’t do that to you.”

“Do what?! Acknowledge my feelings for you? Make me happy? Renjun you’ve made me happy for as long as I’ve known you, I just need to know that you-”

“-You don’t understand-”

“Yeah, so maybe I don’t but you never fucking tell me anything! God Renjun, I’ve been trying so hard to see what’s hidden beneath your impenetrable surface and you’ve let me in before, why are you just now shutting me out?”

Renjun fought the tears building in his eyes. Fuck, he hadn’t cried for any reason for over a year, he didn’t need to cry now over something so trivial.

“I get it, you’ve been hurt, I’ve been hurt, can we please move on? Stop turning this into something about us and just tell me what you found. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” His head felt like it was going to explode and he was finally hit with the full force of the many, many secrets he’d been keeping from Jaemin. The word “us” must’ve been the trigger, he figured, seeing as he’d never referred to himself and Jaemin as a sort of team before. Fuck, Jaemin had taken too much control over his emotions and now he was panicking over the secrets he’d kept.

There was no way Jaemin was going to react well upon hearing that Renjun was the Prince of the Fire Nation and judging how their current conversation was going, he wasn’t going to take things well when he would have to leave Jaemin to go back home. He should’ve kept things simple, should’ve kept his feelings locked up where they belonged and thrown away the key before getting deployed. When did things get so complicated?

Jaemin swallowed and his lips parted in silent protest but he never said what he wanted to. Instead he just breathed in deeply and nodded, accepting Renjun’s wishes and Renjun had to look away when he noticed the shimmer in Jaemin’s eyes.

“Fine, I’m willing to wait.” Jaemin’s voice cracked on the word “fine” and Renjun had to struggle to pull himself together.

Renjun hated how his words sounded so weak yet determined. He hated how a fissure dug deep into his heart, threatening to open and spill the emotions he’d kept at bay since he met Jaemin.

“A hunter found a grounded bird struggling with something on it’s back two days earlier but he just got back today. It had this on it,” Jaemin explained and pulled something from the waistband of his pants, throwing it in Renjun’s direction.

The firebender caught it with ease and inspected it with wide, unblinking eyes. A long cylindrical tube, as long as his forearm, was smooth and cool to the touch with long, tattered ribbons tied around both ends, signaling the importance of the message within the canister and the designated receiver and who the sender was. The canister, other than a few scratch marks, was untouched except for the lid which sat askew, and the Fire Nation emblem was painted bold and bright right in the center. 

Renjun ran a shaking finger over the insignia. He couldn’t believe it was real. And the long, deep reds and blacks of the ribbons could mean only one thing.

“Was this attached to a hawk’s back or… any other kind of bird of prey?” He asked slowly.

Jaemin nodded, eyebrow raised slightly. “Yeah, it was some type of bird of prey…”

Renjun had to take a deep breath to steady himself. He popped open the lid of the canister and shook it against his hand, letting a scroll of paper tumble out. He snatched it up and opened it, eyes scanning the lines frantically and the color drained from his face.

Yuta was right. The Fire Nation was in the area, slowly closing in, and had been given orders straight from the royal palace to instead burn every village to the ground, taking no prisoners. God, it wasn’t even wartime and it seemed that his father was trying to spark a conflict. 

The response had been about the time and day of their attack, in four days time at sunset and had asked for confirmation from the higher ups to continue the raid. Four days. It was found two days ago so they had two days to run. 

Renjun hastily shoved the scroll back into the canister and tossed it back at Jaemin, grabbing his stuff.

“We gotta move, the Fire Nation can’t find me or Yuta,” he ordered, turning back to find his new friend. Jaemin was hot on his heels.

“Wait, what did it say?” Jaemin asked. Renjun huffed loudly.

“You mean to tell me it wasn’t you who tampered with the lid? You haven’t read it yet?”

“Renjun, I, uh, I never learned how to read.”

Oh. Maybe the lid had been loosened during the travel then.

“The Fire Nation forces in the area were instructed to burn any and all villages to the ground and work inwards towards the capital. They’ll stop at nothing so we gotta go, now,” Renjun spit out the words quickly like they were fire in his tongue and set back off to find Yuta and notify him.

“Wait, wait, what??”

“We can’t afford to lose any ground we have on them.”

“Hold up, so you’re just leaving? We can’t just leave them all to die, we gotta do something to help,” Jaemin argued. “Stop running, you wouldn’t want your family to get burned to death would you?”

Renjun froze in his tracks. Funny how it happened to be his own father who was burning people to death. Would it be bad if he said he didn’t care? If he said that he’d let them burn?

It was silent for a long time in the late night and the moon was slowly approaching the horizon.

“Not my brother,” he said finally. “But my father can burn in hell for an eternity and then a hundred years more,” he growled under his breath. Jaemin didn’t seem to catch that last part, or just didn’t comment on it.

“So… what if it was your bother you knew was going to get burned to ashes. Wouldn’t you go back to save him?”

Kun. He was technically a firebender and would have no problem rescuing himself. But Jaemin’s point still stuck with him nonetheless. His innards twisted uncomfortably at the thought of leaving Kun again. If he could do it over again… do that one night over again…

“Yes. I would go back and save him,” Renjun decided, turning back to face Jaemin. A slight smile rested on the boy’s face but as always, his eyes conveyed more than anyone could decipher in a single glance.

“So what’s stopping you? Mrs. Cho treated us like family, if you’re not going to do it for me, do it for her.”

A pause stretched into a minute as the words sank into Renjun. And after thinking over Jaemin’s words for a third time, he came to the terrifying conclusion that he would in fact, do it for Jaemin. He would go back to save Jaemin if it had been him, risking compromising his identity and entire mission. But then what _was_  stopping him if it wasn’t that?

Jaemin’s safety was what he was most worried about, he realized a heartbeat later. It shook him to his core but he couldn’t ignore Jaemin’s question now.

“Don’t say that…” he mumbled. “I’m just… what if I fail you? And your life is ruined rotting away in the Fire Nation prisons?”

“Renjun, don’t talk like that, you’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. And I’ve got your back no matter what and this time, I promise not to let you down.”

He bit his lip. “You barely know me. You’re promising a lot of things right now.”

“Do you trust me?”

“I-I don’t… I don’t know.” Renjun raked his hands through his hair and exhaled loudly. The sun was beginning it’s journey into the sky, he could feel it in his bones. They were losing time. “Do _you_  trust  _me?”_

“Completely,” Jaemin replied without missing a beat and Renjun stumbled back at the pure sincerity in his voice. “Renjun, I never had a lot to live for other than the very unlikely chance of my life turning around for the better. But you made me smile and laugh… I want to get to know you better and I want you to let me in. I trust you enough to put out my feelings for the first time in a long time; you’re special to me.”

“W-why would you trust me?” Renjun still sounded disbelieving and cautious but how could he know Jaemin wasn’t playing some twisted game?

“Something… there’s something about you that I find myself captivated by… I can’t describe what it is, but it’s been eating away at me for some time now,” he confessed. “So please Renjun, just take my hand and we’ll help out Mrs. Cho quick as a flash of lightning and then we can be on our way to your destination. Okay?”

Jaemin extended one hand into the space between them that suddenly felt ten times larger. His eyes were pleading and nothing but kind-hearted.

With small, tentative steps, Renjun crossed the forest floor, never looking away from Jaemin’s eyes, and reached out his own hand. Their skin connected, warming Renjun’s palm, and Jaemin wrapped Renjun’s hand in his fingers, squeezing tightly.

“I’m not letting you go again. I’m not letting you run away from me again,” he promised, staring into the depths of Renjun’s soul. The firebender could only gulp and nod, completely at a loss for words. Their heartbeats pulsed against their skin, syncing up in seconds as they gazed into eachother’s eyes, lost in thought and the underlying feelings they shared.

“Are you two - oh, shiiit...” Yuta’s voice drifted out from somewhere in the woods before he was within sight of them and a hand flew up to his mouth at the scene before him. “Should I come back later or…?”

Jaemin grumbled something unintelligible so Renjun responded for them.

“Actually we were just finishing,” he said, slowly slipping his hand from Jaemin’s. He ignored the cold that crept back over his skin in favor of approaching Yuta and looking the man up and down.

Renjun took a deep breath. “I don’t expect you to trust me, as we just met less than a day ago, but I have a proposal for you.”

Yuta nodded and leaned against a tree, his steady gaze meeting Renjun’s.

“You said you’d protect this forest with your life. If I told you Fire Nation forces are moving in this direction, would you help stop them _before_  they got here as opposed to _when_  they got here?” Renjun asked directly. He thought he heard Jaemin breathe a sigh of relief.

Yuta was dumbfounded for a solid ten seconds before he picked his jaw back up off the ground and cleared his throat. “I, uh, I don’t know. That’s tricky because out in the open, you’re vulnerable and there aren’t like, trees for cover…”

“Yes but here you risk burning down the entire forest with one misaimed blow.” Yuta didn’t budge. Of course he wouldn’t, why should he? It wasn’t his problem currently.

Renjun took a deep breath. “I can guarantee that your identity will remain safe that they won’t find you out if you come with me and Jaemin. And I could pay you.”

That caught Yuta’s attention. Something akin to interest or maybe fascination by what this boy was offering him, sparked in his eyes. “I don’t what your money… but i’m listening…”

 

“That’s it? That’s all you’re asking me to do?” Yuta asked, eyebrows up to his hairline. Renjun nodded firmly in reply.

“For now. That’s the only easy way to promise you safety.”

“And what about you two? You won’t be able to use your bending if you’re going toe-to-toe with the army.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he brushed off, standing from the ground and marching back over to his bag. He rummaged through the bunched up clothing and food until his hand came in contact with the smooth, cool, leather scabbard for his dagger.

He drew it out and gave it an experimental toss in the air, letting himself get used to its weight once again. It was a very lovely dagger, slender and keen enough to slice through the thick hide of a dragon if need be, crafted by the most talented blacksmith in the Fire Nation and with a fire stone embedded in the top end of the hilt that glowed in the sunlight.

“So for now, I have this. If I need to firebend, I’ll do it out of sight,” he explained. “Is that everything…?” He directed at Jaemin.

Jaemin blinked rapidly and cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, I think…”

“Wait.” Yuta stood and walked over to Renjun. “You don’t want them knowing you’re Fire Nation, right? So we gotta do something about that pretty face of yours.”

In no time at all, Yuta had seated Renjun and gathered dry dirt from the forest floor and smeared it all over the boy’s cheeks and forehead in harsh, chaotic strokes.

“I call it, contour.”

“It’s hideous.”

“Then I’ve done my job.”

Renjun scrunched up his nose and gave Jaemin a questioning stare. “Is it that bad?”

“I mean… you do look different…” Jaemin conceded. “Poor-er and… younger?” he suggested with an unconvincing smile.

Renjun shrugged since it was probably the best he was going to get. But it didn’t matter much, there were still other things to get done.

Yuta retreated back to his community’s hideaway to retrieve a bow and quiver of arrows he suggested Renjun keep in addition to his dagger, as well as some type of weapon for Jaemin and himself while Renjun briefed Jaemin on who Yuta was and why he’d asked for his help.

“Before you ask whether or not he’s trustworthy, just hear me out. He deserted a year and a half ago and explained to me how while he does miss the Fire Nation, he doesn’t condone their actions here in the Earth Kingdom. I’m not anticipating too big of a raid on the village considering the fact that it’s fairly small and the Fire Nation wouldn’t be able to transport thousands of men across the Earth Kingdom and not have the King know about it, but we, um, we can’t do this alone.”

Renjun went on to explain how the Fire Nation army functions so Jaemin wouldn’t be blindsided by the foreign firebending techniques. And he did this all while trying to maintain the impression of a simple school boy who’d had a unit in school on the military.

“There is a blend of firebenders and close combat frightens but all of them are fully capable of wielding swords and spears and such. Your earthbending will take them by surprise so you need to take advantage of that. Here, why don’t I show you right now,” Renjun said, making his way out of the forest into the empty space just on the other side of the trees, leaving Jaemin to follow slowly.

Renjun finished his lecture on the Fire Nation Army’s fighting technique and maybe it could be considered treason, disclosing his own military’s battle strategies, but as the prince of the Fire Nation, whoever was on his side was on the side of the Fire Nation, right? (He’s wrong, he’s literally planning on ambushing his own soldiers.)

“Right, so we’ll be on defense so I’ll come at you first.” Renjun rolled up his short sleeves, exposing his biceps and shoulders and took a fighting stance a good distance away from Jaemin.

 

“Renjun… my earthbending isn’t that great…” Jaemin gulped.

“Nonsense, you’ve displayed some great potential, you just need practice with channeling your energy and adapting your technique,” Renjun replied without missing a beat.

Without warning, a huge flaming stream of fire shot from the bottom of Renjun’s foot, headed straight at Jaemin. His adrenaline spiked and he swung his arms up, bending a solid, rock barrier from the earth in front of him.

“What the hell?!” He shouted at Renjun, stomping his foot once and sending the barrier collapsing back into the ground.

Renjun just shrugged unapologetically. “You think those soldiers are gonna ask you, “ready or not, here I come?” No, they’re going to exploit any weakness they can find, such as distraction.”

Again, Renjun jumped up into the air, flipping once and shooting a crescent shaped boomerang of fire from his foot.

This time, Jaemin was ready. The earth rumbled beneath him and a pillar raised high into the air, getting him out of range of the attack.

Atop his pillar he focused his energy on feeling the earth. With calculated punches, he sent chunks of the pillar flying at Renjun. With each punch, the section above crashed down upon the lower half, rattling his skull.

But Renjun had dogged every single attack Jaemin had sent his way and was charging at Jaemin with his fingertips sparking.

He could feel in his toes and in his bones the vibrations of Renjun running over the ground, the firebender’s feet pounding into the earth. With lightning reflexes, Jaemin punched a column out from the ground directly under Renjun’s foot.

The force sent Renjun flying into the air, but he adapted quickly, twirling and growing a long spiral of fire around him. With a swift twist in the air, Renjun sent the long stream of fire rocketing at Jaemin.

Jaemin didn’t have time to see if Renjun had landed safely. He boosted himself off of the ground and away from the incoming flames, rolling over and pressing himself to the ground. Before the dust could clear, he searched for the shudder of the earth under Renjun’s feet and with a stomp and kick of his foot, sent a good sized boulder shooting at his target.

Flames erupted around the boulder and it crashed to the ground with Renjun standing on top of it, looking down at Jaemin.

“You’re better than you give yourself credit for,” he shouted across the open space between them.

“Here’s a tip, I understand the main style of earthbending is to stand solid like a rock,” Renjun began, clamoring down from the boulder and crossing the area over to Jaemin, “but firebenders are fast on their feet, so you either have to be faster or perfect your little… what were you doing when you just… anticipated where I was?”

“Um, I guess just… feeling? I don’t really know, I was never taught how to properly earthbend, kinda had to learn it on my own,” Jaemin muttered, scratching the back of his head.

“You were never properly taught and you’re _this_  good?” Renjun asked, astounded. Jaemin withheld his surprise for Renjun’s positive reaction and jerked his head once in a nod.

“Wow… yeah, you’ll have no problem against the troops then, most of them aren’t as well trained as others because the commanders prefer for their troops to not be better than them,” Renjun rambled, heading back up towards the forest.

Jaemin followed behind with a swell of pride filling his chest and a smile brightening his face.

_And to think they ever doubted me._

 

As the sun was approaching its peak, their feet stepped out onto the vast expanse of dry, crusty earth, Renjun’s logic being that if he’d made it that far in half a day they could make it in a little less than a full day’s worth of traveling. Yuta was surprisingly upbeat for the particular mission they were embarking on but Renjun wasn’t going to be the one to snuff it out.

“So you’re only going to save the nice old people?” Yuta asked for the third time, twirling his wooden staff at his side. “And you’re bringing me as reinforcements but mostly to keep watch? And Jaemin here is an even better bender than I thought he was when we fought in the dark last night?”

“Yes, yes and yes,” Renjun replied monotonously. “You don’t even need to enter the village, there’s a huge area with fields and around them are some hills where you can park yourself.”

“Awesome, sounds like fun,” Yuta chirped, bouncing along. He seemed to notice the glance Renjun and Jaemin exchanged because he relaxed his movements.

“Sorry, this is the most action I’ve seen in a year…”

“It’s no problem,” Jaemin reassured with a small grin.

Renjun kept telling himself that he was in fact doing this solely to spare Mrs. and Mr. Cho from a painful death. But from how Jaemin occasionally glanced over at him with a soft smile told him that even he knew the truth that he still found hard to accept.

 

As the sun began to dip, they approached a field with people working tirelessly, bending over to till the soil and nurture the seeds and plants.

“Yuta, wait up there,” Renjun instructed, pointing at a group of hills bordering the forest a good distance away from the village. He obeyed silently and parted from his new friends, beginning the climb to safety.

“Just you and me now,” Jaemin hummed, continuing onward. Renjun sighed and followed, mentally preparing himself.

The town was as he’d left it with kids playing outside with adults milling about along the streets, but there was a sense of mourning. Jaemin’s shoulders tensed as he picked up on the downtrodden mood too and he drifted closer to Renjun’s side.

“Okay, just stay close to me,” Jaemin instructed, reaching for Renjun’s hand.

Their fingers brushed and a jolt zipped down his spine, reaching to his toes. It was strange and unfamiliar, having contact innitiated in such a spontaneous manner. He snatched his hand up to his chest and snapped his head to face Jaemin.

Surprise and then puzzlement flashed through the boy’s eyes until he raised his hands in surrender and sighed quietly.

His mind drew a blank. There was porbably only one thing he could do in this situation, but was it necessary?

Tentatively, Renjun reached back out, brushing their hands together with purpose before slipping his into Jaemin’s. Jaemin’s fingers gently grasped his hand, squeezing twice. His eyes traveled up from their connected hands and was greeted by Jaemin’s pair, smiling brightly at him.

 

“Mrs. Cho?” Jaemin called into the tiny hut upon their arrival. “I made it back, Renjun’s here too.”

The sound of her sandals shuffling over the dirt floor drew near and a smiling face popped out from her bedroom.

“Jaemin! You came back! Please, you must be tired after such a long journey, please, dinner is cooking as we speak,” she invited, smiling at Renjun too.

“Oh, thank you very much, but… I have bad news. About the Fire Nation,” Jaemin said grimly.

She gasped quietly and sat quickly, but not before pulling out two chairs for both of them. Jaemin pulled Renjun down next to him by their still intertwined hands and inhaled deeply. Under Mrs. Cho’s stare, Renjun could feel his temperature rising and an uneasiness sprouted within him, but he sealed his lips closed.

“Mrs. Cho, you’ve been so kind to us and the only way I can think of paying you back is by warning you now. According to the Fire Nation bird that carried the container, forces have been sent to invade the villages in the Earth Kingdom. They plan on burning everything to the ground, including the people, after stealing all of the livestock and goods. We will help you pack your things so you can flee to safety while we try to hold them off for you.”

Her face was whiter than the snow that blanketed the north and south poles and all she could do was weakly nod.

“A-are you sure? I mean, I do trust you, Jaemin, b-but…” Her voice trembled as she spoke and she reached for her collar, clutching the stained material in shaking hands. Jaemin nodded solemnly.

“Renjun and I, we’ll do everything we can to protect the lovely life you’ve created for yourself and your husband so you may help other travelers and your children don’t have to wonder where you went,” Jaemin promised.

“S-so like n-now… ?”

“The sooner the better, Mrs. Cho,” Renjun affirmed. “I’m sorry but this is the easiest way to keep you and your husband safe.”

She nodded, blinking away the tears and stood, waddling into her room.

 

The two boys watched as Mrs. and Mr. Cho clear the perimeter of the farthest field, becoming nothing more than small shadows in the sunset.

“Should we warn the rest of the village?” Renjun asked, pushing himself out of the door way of the Cho’s home.

“I’ll do it. They’re still upset that you burned their house down.”

Renjun’s throat closed up. “I _what_  their house?”

“No, no, no, please- shit, I- I didn’t mean that you did, but they still think you did. You were the only remotely Fire Nation-related person in the entire area. It’s not your fault, I believe you now, but they’re still touchy,” Jaemin hurriedly explained, trying not to upset Renjun again.

He heaved a long sigh. “Is that why? That’s why they wanted to kill me?”

“No one wanted to do that-”

“Because they think I’m the bad guy?” Renjun would never do such a thing and it was hurtful to think he would.

But a voice in the back of his head asked, _but you, as the son of the Fire Lord, would surely do something of the sort?_

Jaemin saved him from falling back into his mind when he spoke. “You’re not the bad guy, and I think so. But it’s fine, I’ll handle it and then we never have to talk about you not burning down someone’s home again, alright?” He left without waiting for an answer, stopping by each house and staying for no longer than twenty seconds.

 

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting darkness and black shadows over the nearly empty village. Jaemin had received minimal resistance from the villagers, as many had seen the canister from the messenger hawk, but some couldn’t be bothered to move.

Renjun walked back into the Cho’s home, throwing his bag on his bed and stuffing away his dagger. He flopped onto the familiar mattress, noticing that the blankets hadn’t even been removed.

His thoughts began to rush back in, causing the world around him to fall away. Was he doing the right thing, turning against his father indiscreetly to save these people? What would his father say upon witnessing it? Upon witnessing his alliance with a deserter and a random, peasant, boy?

Nothing good, that much he was sure of. How bad of a punishment would he recieve if his father ever caught wind of his actions? Two days in the dungeons? A week?

He shuddered at the thought of the dungeons. Many, many bad things went on just beneath the throne room where lavishly decorated guests wearing crystals and gold dined, blissfully unaware of the torture and suffering happening beneath their feet. But that was how the world worked, right? The rich live in luxury without ever worrying about experiencing pain beyond a papercut. The poor live fighting for their lives everyday, wondering where their next meal will be coming from, if it’s coming at all.

So did the moral pros outweigh the inevitably torturous cons?

“Renjun,” Jaemin’s deep voice drifted into the room. His face popped through the thin curtain a moment later, smiling sweetly. He made his way over to the bed and paused at the edge, looking at Renjun.

He needed a moment to figure out that Jaemin was silently asking if Renjun was comfortable and it made his heart flutter. He nodded and slid over.

“So now that’s taken care of.”

He hummed in agreement, staring up at the cracked ceiling above them.

They lay together in silence for a few minutes, Jaemin’s hand sneaking up to hold Renjun’s. He met Jaemin in the middle, disregarding how much easier it was becoming to ignore the consequences of letting himself fall into the other boy’s arms.

“So… you said that I don’t understand, that I barely know you, huh?” Jaemin hummed, playing with Renjun’s fingers in his own.

“I- well, it’s not like that…” Renjun protested. “I just… don’t get how you could… feel more for me than normal in such a short amount of time…”

“So then tell me about yourself. I want to know you better. Help me to understand you, Renjun.”

He swallowed. Where to begin? What to say? What not to say?

“My name is Renjun, I’m from the Fire Nation capital sent into the Earth Kingdom on a mission for my father. I’ve earned the rank of master in the art of firebending and I enjoy painting. I, uh, I’m not great with emotions or trust but I’m learning,” he added, turning and looking into Jaemin’s eyes. “I come from an ancient bloodline of powerful people in the Fire Nation and I’ve never had a proper friend before.”

“Seriously? You’ve never had a proper friend before?”

“I’ve had… family friends,” he said, meaning he’d been forced on multiple occasions to talk with the descendants of wealthy politicians and kings while his father met with their council.

“Okay then. What about your mom?”

“Died before I could know her.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he murmured.

Renjun shook his head. “Not your fault. It happens sometimes.”

“What about siblings? Younger brother or sister?”

He paused. “I had an older brother.”

“Did he die too?”

“I thought he did but he ran away so I don’t really know.”

“A pet? A companion of sorts?”

Renjun grinned fondly at the thought of his dragon friend. “Yes, a companion of sorts. His name is Zu.”

“What does he look like?”

Renjun huffed quietly, still grinning. “You wouldn’t like him, he’s a dragon.”

The pure awe and disgust on Jaemin’s face was enough to make Renjun burst into quiet laughter.

“I’m going to pretend you never said that.”

“You can’t ignore the truth.”

“Watch me. What do you want to do when you’re older? Like, even just for fun?”

“Hmmm… Visit Ember Island maybe? It’s like a tropical beach island where people like to go to relax and have fun. You?”

“Visit the Fire Nation. I hear lots of stories about it when I pass through towns and you seem to live a good life.”

He forced down the rising guilt and laughed instead. “It’s nothing too special, honestly. Your life out here seems pretty great.”

Jaemin laughed this time, but it was lacking. “Well, it gets boring pretty quickly.”

Quiet breaths filled the room and Renjun shifted on the sheets, repositioning himself to lie facing Jaemin.

“Do you feel like you understand a bit better now?”

“A bit, but I’d like to understand more,” he confessed, bringing his free hand up to brush his fingers over Renjun’s cheek. Much to his own surprise, he leaned into the comforting touch, giving a light squeeze of his hand.

It was silent as the two studied each other’s faces and held hands under the blankets.

“Are you scared?” Jaemin asked, breaking the peaceful silence.

He sighed. “Apprehensive maybe? It’s kind of a lot to take in for a day,” he replied, turning his head to look at Jaemin’s. The moonlight dancing in the boy’s eyes was magical and how his grin made the angels sing in the heavens was something Renjun would forever cherish after they parted ways. “What about you?”

“I think I would be scared if I didn’t have you with me,” Jaemin answered unabashedly. He turned his own head to completely face Renjun and leaned his face in closer to Renjun’s. “You make me feel like I matter, and that someone really cares about me.”

Renjun struggled to swallow. He couldn’t recall ever doing anything exceptionally caring or compassionate towards Jaemin.

“I think you’re delusional,” he said with a quiet laugh to mask his confusion, reaching up and gently flicking Jaemin on the forehead. “You still don’t know everything about me.”

“Maybe I am a bit delusional, whatever that means, but I know for sure that I’m serious about you, Renjun. You fed me when you didn’t have to, you made me laugh and feel free to express myself, and you helped me with my bending, all things no one else has ever done for me in my life. You’re very special to me Renjun, I’ve said that before but I need you to know that.”

He couldn’t speak. That had been, what, twice Jaemin had confessed in two days?

_Confessed what though?_

“I- I didn’t know I meant that much to you… I’ve- god, this is hard…” He took a shaky breath. “You’re special to me too, Jaemin. Really special.”

Jaemin’s grip tightened in his hand and Renjun squeezed back, savoring the feeling. It had been a while since he felt like someone genuinely cared for him.

The moment was so crystal clear in his mind, there would be no way he’d ever forget in his lifetime. Jaemin’s fingers laced together with his, the moonlight beaming through the cracks in the walls, Jaemin’s warm breath puffing over his lips and their eyes lost in eachother’s gazes.

Renjun took the risk, tilting his head closer to Jaemin’s and opened his mouth to say something. He was going to do it. He wasn’t sure what or how, but he was going to tell Jaemin.

“I- I think I really like you…”

Dead silence.

“Me too.”

Renjun’s heart swelled and his cheeks burned.

“You- you’re cute when you blush,” Jaemin teased, smiling broadly. “I promise not to let anything bad happen to you.”

Renjun breathed out quietly, face heating up even more. Everything felt fuzzy inside and it was foreign but not unwelcome. He didn’t know how to handle it, but holding Jaemin’s hand seemed to help.

But it was gone the instant loud shouts and explosions filled the night, making the two boys jump and Renjun try to pull away but only for Jaemin to pull the boy closer. The shouting got louder and so did the harsh clanking of steel weaponry that chilled Renjun to the bone.

 

The troops were a day early.

Fuck.

Renjun leapt out of the bed, snatching his dagger and the wooden bow with a quiver of hand-made arrows supplied by Yuta, and raced out of the hut, scrambling up to the roof and perching himself there.

Jaemin emerged from the house a second later, only carrying a dagger from Yuta in case of an emergency.

“Jaemin,” Renjun called to him, making his friend look up to feet his eyes. “Stay safe, I’ve got your back, trust me.”

“I trust you,” was all he said before running down the street towards the forest’s edge. Renjun followed on the rooftops, jumping from home to home as stealthy as a ninja. He could feel the muscle memory of his endless training kicking in and was glad to finally put it to use.

There was a single, faint orange glow but Renjun knew all too well that there were likely three dozen troops marching in to burn the village to the ground.

Jaemin swooped his arms downwards to the ground, bringing them up in a circular motion and lifted a huge, rock slab in front of himself as he ran. With a powerful shove, he sent the rock wall sliding forward at an incredible speed, crashing into the stray trees at the edge of the forest and subsequently, the people marching in from the forest.

The shouting grew to a scary volume and Renjun had to force his hands to still as he loaded up the bow.

The first came around the wall, looking hella confused.

“Uh, tell the general we, uh… there’s something in the way,” he said to his friend who emerged from the other side. Both carried long, wooden spears with sharp, metal blades rested on top that glinted in the moonlight.

Jaemin stomped his foot once, breaking a large boulder from the ground and whipped it at the soldiers without warning.

Shouting crescendoed and so did the rhythmic stomping of metal boots marching over the forest floor. Renjun would guess close to a fifty soldiers? Maybe even a hundred?

_Hopefully not a hundred…_

Over Jaemin’s wall, a huge, flaming boulder was lobbed into the air, arching straight down towards the village.

Renjun flew from rooftop to rooftop, scrambling to get out of range of the attack. The shuddering, groundbreaking impact never came and when Renjun peaked over his shoulder, Jaemin had it under control with his bending. With a mighty throw, the giant boulder was hurled off to the side, away from the village where it crashed to the ground a good distance away.

“Oh no,” Renjun breathed under his breath as he caught sight of the troops swarming around the wall.

“We’re experiencing some resistance,” one of the soldiers shouted.

“It’s those bratty kids again, ain’t it?” Another shouted back. Renjun took up a position on the rooftop and carefully took aim with his bow, releasing an arrow straight into the man’s leg.

The sounds of fighting filled the night, despite it being a two versus one hundred match.

Renjun ducked and slid over the rooftops, staying out of sight and occasionally hitting some of the troops with a ‘stray’ fireball. He wielded his bow like a lifelong master and always aimed to injure, never to kill.

Jaemin’s exceptional bending skills shone through as he used his abilities to block and attack in the same, swift movements, all while staying light on his toes. He was a fighter, that much was obvious to anyone.

“Jaemin, behind you!” Renjun warned at the sight of a spear hurling towards the boy.

But before he could climb down to help, a blast of fire shot by his face, making him shrink back into the shadows. It was followed by several more, two of which he was forced to block using his own bending before scrambling to the next roof.

“Just burn the place down! Forget the valuables!” Someone shouted, lighting up their fist and throwing flames into a house. Mrs. Cho’s house, to be exact.

Renjun scrambled down, heart racing just at the thought of what he was going to do.

Jaemin was running too, eyes wide. “Renjun, no!”

He clenched his jaw and steeled his nerves. He was going to do this, afterall, Mrs. Cho had been the sole reason he’d agreed to return, right?

“Back off, Jaemin,” he shouted back.

Jaemin’s voice calling out his name was distant. He pushed off of the ground and entered the house through an open window in the back without thinking. The only thing on his mind was saving Mrs. Cho’s home. He smothered the flames with his own, blinking back the tears drawn from his eyes by the fumes and smoke.

In minutes, he was forced to drop to his knees and use one hand to bunch up his shirt and yank it over his mouth when the feeling the smoke fill his lungs became too much. But he still kept trying to extinguish the flames. He messily swept his hand through the air, watching as only a few of the burning furniture pieces were extinguished.

He fought back the tightening feeling in the back of his throat and the burning in his lungs, finally putting out the last of the flames engulfing the furniture. He removed the shirt from over his mouth, coughing up blackened mucus and spit.

His mind was foggy, his vision was blurry and his lungs were screaming at him. But he couldn’t find the muscle control to move himself from the smoke filled home. He collapsed to his stomach, forcing down the bile rising in the back of his throat from the acrid smell and taste of soot.

He couldn’t even find the energy to wrench himself free from the tight grip that seized his sides, hoisting him up into the air, jostling him around until he was draped over someone’s shoulder and being carried from the home.

The fight raged on with the crackling and spitting of flames filling his ears above the shouting and the fighting.

He mustered a weak cough as his body was dumped onto the ground and feet stomped around and near his head.

 _Fucking idiot,_  he scolded himself.

“Hey, hey!” A deep voice shouted by his ear. “You dead?”

A thick accent bled through every sound and the voice sounded rugged, though female. Where did she come from?

Renjun forced his head to move, shaking his singed bangs over the ash covered skin on his forehead. He coughed again, seeing more black goop shoot from his mouth through the tears still stinging his eyes.

“He ain’t dead, huh,” the voice marveled. Hands grabbed at him again, yanking him to his knees and holding him in an upright position. Large, coffee brown eyes stared back at him with long eyelashes fanned out.

“That’s enough now, Amber,” a lighter, more feminine voice commanded, shoving the girl aside to peer into Renjun’s eyes. More people?

In an instant, he was being bent at the waist and a strong hand came down right between his shoulder blades, forcing him to cough up more black goop. The action was repeated twice more until he was functional enough to cough out a weak protest.

“He should be fine now,” she stated, sitting Renjun back and supporting his head in her hands from the side. “But keep him safe for now.”

His chest hurt and his throat burned for water. But he needed to find Jaemin.

“Jaemin,” he croaked weakly, forcing his body to work again. Straining, he fought the sting of the minor burns littering the skin over his back and legs to stand. With each step, he lurched forward, knees threatening to buckle and lungs threatening to collapse.

“Woah there, buddy,” a deep voice cautioned followed by a large, rough hand on his shoulder. The voice was new and had a… guardian angel-like quality to it. Renjun couldn’t quite describe the authoritative yet protective feeling he got from the voice but it was a nice feeling. “Take it easy, I’ve been told to keep you safe.” But still, who was this guy?

Renjun turned and wiped at the tears in his stinging eyes to find a tall man gazing down at him. He ignored his words and continued to limp towards the village, eyes turning back to scan the scene before him.

A dozen or more people seemed to have joined the fight, none dressed like Fire Nation soldiers. Many wore ragged clothes similar to Jaemin’s and carried hand-crafted weapons made from chiseled stones and wood.

“Who… who are you? Who are they?” Renjun coughed weakly. The man placed a firm hand on Renjun’s lower back and another on his shoulder, helping him to stand up straight.

“My name’s Johnny and that, is my family.”

 

“Renjun…” Jaemin gasped, trying desperately to catch his breath. He’d actually let his friend run into a burning house. God, he should’ve done it himself. The fighting was so taxing on his body and mind, he’d never needed to concentrate on his bending for more than a couple of minutes. But now, everything was burning and crumbling around him and all he could do was fend off the soldiers as best as he could.

The boy had disappeared into the house and Jaemin had lost sight of him since. That had been a while ago and he was beginning to fear for his friend’s life.

But he kept fighting, because that was all he could do.

With a significantly weaker punch, he ripped a jagged spike from the earth and hurled it blindly in the general direction of fire. Things were going downhill so, so fast.

Just when he was prepared to give in to the fatigue pooling in his limbs, a gentle hand fluttered down onto his shoulder.

“Hey, buddy, you okay?” The voice was soothing and sweet, very gentle and warm. He raised his eyes to the person’s face. He was sucked in by their strikingly familiar burning eyes and soft yet masculine facial features.

“Y-yeah,” he gulped, blinking quickly.

The man smiled back, helping Jaemin’s stand. “I’m here to help.”

In one smooth motion, he ducked beneath Jaemin’s arm, acting as a crutch and guided Jaemin away from the center of the burning homes. He slowly lowered Jaemin to the ground with a steady arm and laid the boy down.

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

Jaemin shook his head. Other than a few minor burns and cuts, he was otherwise unharmed. “I’m okay,” he winced, trying to sit up.

“Hey, hey, easy…” the man soothed, gently but firmly pushing Jaemin’s back down to rest. “Your home will be okay, I’ll make sure of it. But rest here until I come back for you, okay?”

Jaemin swallowed. He wanted to trust this man.

“Did… did you see my friend?” He asked as the man stood.

“I don’t think we’ve encountered anyone else in your village, but I’ll keep an eye out for anyone else,” he promised, turning but Jaemin called out to him again.

“W-wait,” he called, still gasping for air. The man returned to Jaemin and knelt beside the boy’s head, but kept a fair distance between them. “Why are you here? Who… who are you?”

His face softened into a beautiful smile and his eyes shone with purity and compassion.

“I’m Kun and I’m here to help save your home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again to everyone for reading and giving feedback!!!
> 
> [character aesthetics](https://twitter.com/jumping_jxx/status/1081326989691310080?s=20) (is that what these are?) I hope you appreciate these low quality edits i made ;) i actually worked hard on these.........  
> uh there are some spoilers within a few of the images so... *whips* have fun
> 
> another fun thing i thought i’d share -  
> songs that (kinda) inspired these characters (in no particular order):  
> 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 - Demi Lovato  
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 - Mumford and Sons (ignore the religious meanings or whatever)  
> 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 - Bebe Rexha and Martin Garrix  
> 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐞 - Katy Perry  
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐔𝐩 - Jason Mraz
> 
> honestly this chapter felt very meh so feel free to leave some advice for me :P [cc](https://curiouscat.me/jumping_jxx)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not what a family reunion is supposed to be like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a lot shorter than the last but it’s like average chapter length so pls don’t yell at me.  
> honestly it's like a part two/continuation of ch. 6 so it probably should've been published w it oops have fun
> 
> (uh it gets a bit heavy at the end, just in case anyone is sensitive to that ish)

Renjun’s lungs and throat burned still. His stomach clenched too, threatening to hurl the meegar meal he’d eaten before arriving at the village. But who was this Johnny guy to tell him to sit and rest? He needed to find Jaemin and sitting around wasn’t going to help.

But the village was still throwing thick wisps of smoke into the sky from the smoldering rooftops and the figures of people were so hard to distinguish in general from his spot a little ways away.

“I’m fine,” he insisted, pushing away the hand Johnny offered to help balance him for the fourth time. “I… I need to find him,” he panted, struggling to focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

“Kid, you’re obviously not well, please relax. I’m going to help find your friend but I don’t think there was anyone else in the village when you were raided.”

Renjun snarled, partly out of pain and partly out of disgust. Maybe he was younger than this Johnny person but he was no kid.

“It’s- it’s not even my home,” he forced through gritted teeth. His stomach churned violently and the burns over his skin were beginning to reopen, oozing and bleeding with each step he took.

“Ahh,” he hissed, pushing one hand into his middle, as if it might help to assuage the pain, and throwing his other out to steady himself against Johnny. Soot and dust had definitely gone down his throat and he began to worry about how much he might’ve ingested.

“Yeah right you’re fine, come on,” Johnny muttered, taking Renjun’s hand in his and helping the boy straighten up. In a quick swoop, he swung Renjun up into his arms, cradling him like a baby.

“Hey! Put me down!” He demanded indignantly, pain replaced by embarrassment. “Seriously, I’m fine!” 

Johnny ignored his protests and kept walking back towards the village. Admittedly, it was a bit interesting seeing the ground from higher up but that didn’t deter his efforts in trying to escape. Johnny was still a new face and although he'd helped to save Renjun's life, he wasn't completely trustworthy by Renjun's standards yet. 

“Just point me to your home and I’ll help you get settled back in, most of the fires are out and the forces have retreated, you’re welcome.”

“This- this isn’t my village,” Renjun informed, still fighting Johnny’s hold.

Johnny lurched to a stop. “What are you doing here then?”

“I- it’s my friend’s village, I just was passing by sort of-”

“Is this the same friend you’re looking for?”

“N-no, I’m looking for a different friend, he’s- could you please put me down?” Renjun’s pain had ebbed but his mind was still very disoriented.

“As you wish,” Johnny grumbled, dumping Renjun onto his feet. “So if you don’t live here…”

“It’s kind of a long story…”

“I have time.”

Renjun took as deep a breath he could muster. He definitely should leave out the fact that he was from the Fire Nation and probably the fact that Yuta who was hiding with the real villagers was also Fire Nation, and even a former soldier at that. He should also probably leave out exactly why he’d been in the village precisely when the Fire Nation raided, though he could probably work around the whole part about him stupidly attempting to save the day and pay back Mrs. Cho.

“I’m Renjun, I’m traveling with my friend and we stopped by here for supplies when a Fire Nation messenger hawk was found by a hunter with a message on it. I still don’t know who sent it or who it was meant for but I could read enough to know that the Fire Nation would be storming this place soon, I just thought it’d be later.”

Johnny blinked. He stumbled back, just a fraction of a step but enough for Renjun to notice, as if something he’d said had slapped him in the face.

“Renjun…” he muttered, though Renjun couldn’t pick up on a single sound he’d uttered.

“Sorry, I missed that?”

“Never mind,” he brushed off quickly. “Sorry that you had to face that on your own, but I’m here now with my friends to help you out. It was so lucky for us to have found you all in time.”

“The other villagers, the ones who actually live in this area, are up waiting on that hill…” Renjun searched for the direction he’d pointed Yuta in and gestured to it.

Johnny’s face darkened. “We found a Fire Nation spy lurking up there around the time we got here, I didn’t know people were up there too, shit,” he said, taking off in that direction.

Renjun’s heart picked up again and he sprinted after Johnny, trying not to panic too much. Had it all been in vain?

Johnny’s long legs bounded swiftly over the land and up the hill with ease while Renjun’s clogged lungs struggled to keep him on his feet. But he kept up as best he could, finding the bow he’d been given only slightly singed and still on his back with the arrows perfectly fine in the quiver. He figured in this particular instance and for this particular reason, Jaemin could wait a little longer.

Johnny reached the top first, cupping his hands over his mouth and whistling a bird signal into the trees. Renjun looked around for any signs of Fire Nation troops or the villagers.

A bird song replied, shorter and farther away.

“They haven’t found any of your village friends, which means the spy probably hasn’t yet either,” he stated.

“Who do you mean by “they”?”

“ _My_  friends.” Jonny turned back, whistling again into the trees and relaxed this time while he waited for a response.

The reply was a bit longer this time and Johnny tensed up all over again.

“Stay put, I can’t have you getting hurt,” Johnny ordered.

“I’m capable of defending myself, thanks,” Renjun protested, holding up his bow while frowning slightly. Just because his lungs were clogged with soot and his wounds were open and bleeding as if they were fresh, didn’t mean that he couldn’t defend himself. Just meant his abilities were slightly hindered.

Johnny rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine, fine, just stay behind me. We don’t know if the spy can firebend.”

Renjun complied, picking his way through the forest right behind Johnny. There were many things he’d completely forgotten to consider in his haze that could lead to him getting hurt by this unfamiliar man, but just the fact that he hadn’t been hurt yet and Johnny’s intentions were so far good, he deemed the situation safe enough for him to continue. And at that point, Johnny had already picked him up so he shook the thought from his head.  

“Johnny,” a femenine voice called to them from deeper in the forest. Moments later a girl emerged, long black hair tied back into a ponytail and rags for clothes like all of the other newcomers Renjun had seen who had joined the effort to save the village. “The spy claims to have nothing to do with the Fire Nation, should we kill him?”

“Let’s hear him out first, I think that would be fair but yes, we’ll probably kill him either way,” Johnny replied, voice devoid of sympathy. Renjun’s breathing turned husky and ragged for a minute before he was coughing up another mouthful of black goop.

Johnny looked down at him with a raised brow. “You good?”

“Fantastic,” he choked out, pounding a fist against his chest.

“Whatever you say, kid.”

Renjun chose to ignore the fact he’d been addressed as a kid again and quietly followed Johnny into a very small clearing where two other similarly dressed kids stood next to a body that had been tied to a tree.

“You’re kidding me,” Renjun groaned under his breath when he caught sight of the person tied up. Though his bangs were messed up and his clothes a bit more ruffled than when he’d last been seen, the “Fire Nation spy” was unmistakably Yuta.

“Renjun…?” Yuta asked from his temporary prison when their eyes met, like he’d forgotten about the other and suddenly was reminded by the sight of the other firebender.

Johnny’s head whipped between them. “You know this spy? Are you a spy too?” His compassionate demeanor was replaced with cold hostility and he pulled a large chunk of rock from the earth, positioning it in the air at Renjun’s face.

Renjun calmly raised his hands in surrender, letting the bow drop to the ground for good measure. “I’m not a spy but yes, we know each other. That’s my friend, Yuta. Well, one of my friends.”

“We don’t believe you,” the girl from before growled, and was now brandishing a thick, wooden club alongside Yuta’s wooden staff that she’d probably taken when they tied him up.

Johnny stared him down, looking for any sort of lie he could find in Renjun’s eyes.

“He’s harmless,” Renjun promised, ignoring Yuta’s indignant sputer. “If he actually wanted to kill you, I think he would’ve done it by now.”

“If he’s so harmless, then why does he have this on his arm!” One of the other kids exclaimed, pulling at the messily wound coils of rope to expose the branding on Yuta’s inner forearm.

“Not everyone affiliated with the Fire Nation is dangerous,” Renjun stated matter-of-factly, shrugging. Johnny visibly flinched and his tight fists seemed to relax slightly, leaving Renjun wondering exactly who Johnny was and what the Fire Nation had to do with him. “He was one of the people who helped to get the villagers to safety, though he somewhat failed his job of keeping watch for me.” 

Yuta rolled his eyes and huffed but shot a thankful grin Renjun’s way. “In my defense, these guys made my job pretty difficult.”

“So… he’s not a spy…” the girl stated though it sounded like a question.

Renjun nodded. “At least, not to my knowledge.” A lie. Renjun knew for a fact that the Fire Nation spies, even the lowest ranking scouts in the military forces, had a different branding on their skin than Yuta. For one, it was practically invisible to anyone passing on the streets and it was smaller, placed in a painful but nearly impossible to find spot. 

“No, no, no, no, no,” Yuta hurriedly defended himself. “I cut all ties with the Fire Nation over a year ago, they’ve probably forgotten about me.”

“So… you’re not a spy now but you _were_  a spy?”

Yuta closed his eyes and let his head roll back against the tree trunk like he was praying. “No,” he sighed calmly, though it sounded like he had to really try in order to come across in a passive manner. “I was never a spy. I served and trained under General Lee in the army for five years but I left over a year ago.”

Johnny’s rock crashed back to the earth and he finally looked away from Renjun.

“So it wasn’t you who sent the troops into the village?”

“Nope,” Yuta replied, popping the ‘p’ and shaking his head with his eyes still closed.

Johnny ran a hand through his already mused jet hair and Renjun was able to glimpse how the sides had been shaven, leaving the top longer to cascade over his forehead. “Let him go,” Johnny ordered the other two kids. “I believe Renjun and Yuta are telling the truth. He doesn’t seem too keen on hurting us anyway.”

The kids followed his orders and Yuta grumbled to himself, snatching his staff back from the girl who’d been holding it.

“Where’s the earthbender?” He asked Renjun, rolling his head around to stretch his neck and swinging his arms to work out the knots that had formed in his shoulders.

“I don’t know, Johnny said they haven’t found anyone else in the village.”

“Well, is it safe to bring out the villagers? I found a cave-like place for them to set up beds to sleep,” Yuta explained. Renjun was thinking he’d made the right choice in trusting Yuta, seeing as the man genuinely cared for the villager’s well being.

“Sure,” Johnny replied, turning to leave the woods. Yuta gave the taller man a tight smile before exchanging a glance with Renjun and bounding off into the trees.

Renjun made his way back down into the village and found all of the fire smothered and houses no longer smoking. But almost everything was left charred and busted.

He slowly walked up to Mrs. Cho’s hut and knelt down in the flame scorched earth to inspect the damage done to the outer walls. Nothing detrimental to the house’s structure other than ash and soot coloring large patches along the sides an ugly black. The roof was worse though, and it had been completely burned away with the rubble left over cluttering the inside right when Renjun stepped through the doorway. 

Her nice little table seemed okay but it was buried under chunks of burnt wood. The kitchen was blocked by more debris and the bedrooms were missing the wooden bed frames and everything on them. His heart sank.

“Hey,” Johnny’s deep voice rumbled from the doorway, “it’ll be okay. I’ll help you fix up this place and the village for all of your friends so it’ll look like it’s brand new.”

Renjun nodded slowly. “It’s just… I tried so hard to save her home… she was so kind to us…”

“It’s happened to all of us,” Johnny confessed. “My home was first enslaved, maybe… a little less than three years ago, and we were worked to the bone before they’d mined the entire area dry and burned the place to the ground. I was the only survivor, so count your lucky stars for being prepared enough to get everyone out in time.”

Renjun sighed heavily. “I guess you’re right.”

“Things can be replaced. People on the other hand… you can’t ever replace a person.”

Renjun turned to face the man. His words sounded so wise and genuine it was hard to think they came from anything but personal experience.

“I can understand that,” he replied, kicking aside a burnt hunk of roofing. He walked back outside and took in the rest of the village. It appeared as though his efforts hadn’t been entirely fruitless seeing that there were houses in much worse condition than Mrs. Cho’s which made him feel a bit better about the stinging in his chest.

The two walked down the streets, Renjun every few homes or so peeking his head in to assess the damage. Many times he found so much charred floorboards or fallen roof pieces that he was very thankful for moving the villagers out before the attack.

“Renjun,” Johnny’s voice called out from behind him. He turned and walked out of the destroyed home, looking expectantly at the tall earthbender. “Is that-”

“Renjun!” Jaemin’s call was cut short by Johnny shoving Renjun behind his tall figure and hurling a cube of earth from the ground at his friend.

Renjun watched in confusion and fear as Jaemin’s face morphed from delight to fear to recognition to anger.

“Get the fuck away from him,” Jaemin growled at Johnny, stomping his foot and packing a punch so hard it could’ve broken a jaw. The chunk of rock shot through the air at Johnny who easily stretched out one of his hands and caught it as it flew into his palm. In the next second, it had been crushed into dust in his grip. 

“Renjun,” Johnny said slowly, eyes never leaving Jaemin as he took up a stance and shook out the hand that had crushed a huge rock like an eggshell. “What’s your relationship with this _criminal?”_

His heart lurched in his chest. Jaemin? A criminal? Doubt and confusion rushed into everything he thought he’d known about Jaemin. 

What was _Johnny’s_ relationship with a “criminal”?

“Renjun, don’t listen to him,” Jaemin insisted. “He’s just a selfish asshole,” he spat, aiming his words more at Johnny than Renjun.

“Please don’t tell me that you, a nice, sweet boy, would have any sort of close relationship with this _murder_. Please tell me he isn’t the friend you’ve been looking for.” Johnny’s fists were raised and his stance was defensive, but his sharp, cutting stare was challenging and aggressive.

Renjun forced his breathing to even out as he felt the air around him warm. He stepped out from behind Johnny and faced Jaemin, looking the boy up and down to convince himself that Johnny’s accusations weren’t true.

“Renjun… please trust me,” Jaemin begged, letting his eyes flit to Renjun’s for a second. And Johnny took full advantage of that second.

A concentrated stream of smaller, sharp stones tore from the earth with a sweep of Johnny’s long arm and Jaemin was barely able to raise a wall to protect himself in time.

“Renjun, you seem like a nice boy, going and saving your friend’s village like that was very good of you. But if you’re anything like this boy here, I’ll hurt you both very badly.” Johnny’s attack ceased and he took up his defensive stance again.

His head hurt. Had he misplaced his trust? Was this a game for Jaemin?

“What- what did he do?” Renjun asked quietly, choosing to ignore Johnny’s question.

“Oh, so you haven’t told Renjun?” Johnny exclaimed, eyes lighting up with interest. The corner of his lips curled up into a devilish grin and he straightened his posture.

“Johnny-” Jaemin’s voice had a warning tone to it but it was entirely ignored.

“You haven’t told this boy here how you were so kindly taken into my parents’ home, given a bed and a roof to sleep under with three meals a day but chose to act like an absolute bastard? You haven’t told him how one night you decided you were sick of my parents’ kindness and hospitality and decided to ransack the entire place, stealing all that was valuable to us and then crippled my father when he tried to stop you?! He died the next day!!” Johnny was shouting by the end, chest heaving and eyes blazing wildly.

Renjun’s throat was completely dry and he was having an even harder time taking in air than before.

“It’s not- that’s not how it went! You don’t know _anything_ _!”_ Jaemin shouted back, but it sounded so distant in Renjun’s head with all of his thoughts thrashing and hurling through his mind.

“But you’re not denying that you’re a murder? A criminal?” His voice was small but the in the quiet air of the village, it carried to Jaemin’s ears. The boy shook his head vigorously but couldn’t muster the voice to speak. Renjun’s stomach twisted uncomfortably again. His mind was too tired to think right

“Just, let Renjun come with me and you’ll never have to see me again,” Jaemin tried, looking back at Johnny.

“I think I’ll let him make that choice for himself,” Johnny sneered. “Renjun,” the sound of his name brought him back to the scene before him, “would you like to run off into the Kingdom with this killer? Or would you like to go your own separate way, free of the guilt knowing you chose a morally corrupt kid who cold bloodedly killed a man?”

“Renjun,” Jaemin said, voice weak and pleading.

“I won’t hurt you if you go your own way,” Johnny promised, “but I can’t say anything about leaving you unharmed if you go with him.”

Under any other circumstances where he didn’t know what Johnny had just relayed about Jaemin, he would’ve gone with Jaemin in a heartbeat. But if Johnny was telling the truth about Jaemin’s past, what was stopping Jaemin from bringing his past issues into Renjun’s life?

 _“You’re very special to me, Renjun."_  Jaemin’s words from just hours ago echoed in his head. 

 _Some things never change_.

Renjun opened his mouth to speak when a person emerged from behind Jaemin, clad in rags just like everyone else, but in that moment he laid eyes on the man, Renjun could feel the entire world fall away.

His heart palpitated in his chest and his breaths became shallow. His eyes could only focus on that one person and his ears strained to hear them when they opened their mouth.

“What… what’s going on here, Johnny?” The man asked, confusion written all over his face. “Is he bothering you?”

That voice. 

Johnny gritted his teeth and Jaemin slowly switched his stance to keep both Johnny and the new man in his sight. Renjun’s knees threatened to buckle under him and his stomach churned rapidly.

He squinted harder.

_It can’t be…_

“No, he was just leaving,” Johnny forced out through clenched teeth. “Right Jaemin?”

The new man’s gaze bounced between the two earthbenders. “Jaemin, you know Johnny?”

He knew that voice.

“Something like that,” Jaemin snarled.

“Johnny,” the man brought a hand up to rub at the bridge of his nose, “please don’t instigate with one of the villagers, most of them are going to be on edge and defensive for the next few days, you know how it goes, so please don’t make it harder for them.”

Oh, he definitely knew that voice. It made his heart seize up and his head spin.

“Oh, this murderer doesn’t have a home here, I know that for sure.”

“Wha-” Jaemin sputtered but was cut off by the new man. Or maybe he should be called the _old_  man, seeing as he was no one new to Renjun.

“Johnny what are you-”

Renjun’s knees finally buckled and he collapsed to his hands and knees, breathing heavily. Johnny was at his side in an instant, firing questions at him rapidly.

“Are you okay?” He asked in a more gentle tone than he’d used with Jaemin, putting a firm hand on Renjun’s back between his shoulders and another on his chest, moving the boy to sit up. Two pairs of feet bounded over the earth to get to him as he was being helped by Johnny but his eyes could only focus on one of the people.

Jaemin stopped a distance away, not wanting to get too close to Johnny but needing to know that Renjun was okay. The other person ran right up to Renjun and as his face lifted from the ground, their eyes met.

Time froze around him. His heart thundered in his chest and his hands became sweaty and clammy. Something within him switched though he had no idea what. He was rendered speechless as the other person’s gaze bore into his.

Flaming, amber eyes that matched his own were filled in a way he’d never seen them before. Real emotions swam within those deep eyes, drawing out his own emotions from within him.

Soft black bangs, longer than he remembered them ever being, hung over his forehead and a little into his eyes, styled in a similar fashion to Johnny’s hair with the sides closely shaven and the top longer.

His high-rising cheek bones and sturdy jaw had stayed the same and the slightly tanner skin remained unmarked by bruises or cuts for the first time ever that Renjun had seen him, save for a few light streaks of ash.

The name left his lips in a quiet, hoarse whisper but no one else needed to hear it, only his brother.

“Kun.”

Kun flinched back, standing and stumbling away from Renjun quickly, panic showing clearly on his face. He felt his heart crack.

“No,” Kun breathed, backing away. “No, no, no, no, no…”

Renjun’s heart shattered.

Johnny’s head snapped back and forth between them. “How do you know him too?”

“Fuck,” Kun cursed softly, something he’d never heard his brother do before. It was shocking, but no more shocking than the reaction Renjun had definitely not been expecting.

“Kun,” Johnny’s tone shifted again, more tender than he’d been with Renjun. When Kun didn’t answer and just turned away, burying one hand in his hair and the other clutching at his shirt, Johnny turned back to Renjun.

“How do you know him? What did you do to him?” He demanded.

Renjun gazed after Kun, not bothering to try and stop the tears pooling in his eyes from falling. Had his brother just rejected him? Had he been forgotten?

“M-my brother… he’s my brother,” he stammered, loud enough for all three of the people around him to hear. Jaemin’s jaw unhinged and Johnny’s eyes grew wide with surprise and realization. Kun’s back was still turned to him.

“You’re not- but he didn’t-” Johnny tried, failing each time to formulate his thoughts into real sentences which was a lot like how Renjun felt on the inside. Johnny stood, leaving Renjun’s side to go to Kun’s, allowing Jaemin to swoop in and cradle Renjun in his arms.

“I’ve got you,” Jaemin soothed, tightening his grip around him when he felt the smaller boy’s shoulders shudder with a silent sob.

“Why… why doesn’t he like me?” He whispered, pathetically heartbroken by his own brother. The one person who’d mattered in all eighteen years of his life, even after he’d left. In all honesty, he’d expected Kun to be mad at him for turning his back on his brother all those years ago but he’d hoped that Kun would be happy to see him again. Either way, he’d expected some type of acknowledgement. This was not that, however.

Jaemin’s sorrow filled eyes blinked slowly in thought but all he could do was shake his head.

“No, no, no, no, no, no,” Kun murmured, voice unsteady and hands shaking. He turned his head sharpy when Johnny placed a hand on his shoulder but relaxed a fraction upon the sight of his friend. “Johnny-” he choked out before a sob tore from his throat.

Johnny embraced Kun without hesitation, gently patting him on the back and allowing Kun to bury his face into his shoulder.

“Johnny, the- the visions. They’re back,” he cried. Renjun flinched in Jaemin’s hold.

_What…?_

“Kun…” Johnny began but the look on his face said that he had no idea how to properly respond. Renjun couldn’t blame him.

“He- it’s not real, it’s not real,” Kun told himself over and over, lifting his face from Johnny’s shirt, yet still refusing to look in Renjun’s direction.

Renjun couldn’t be bothered to react when Jaemin’s thumb swiped over his cheek, drying tears that had fallen in his confusion, followed by Jaemin’s soft lips kissing the dried spot.

“I don’t- this isn’t happening,” Kun continued, wiping harshly at the tears in his own eyes. Johnny pressed his lips together and inhaled deeply though his nose, pulling Kun back into his body.

“You saw Renjun again?” Johnny asked softly, but still loud enough for the other two to hear. Renjun’s breath caught in his throat and he made a quiet, strangled sound. He couldn’t hear what Jaemin was murmuring into his ear, but he could feel Jaemin’s comforting touch and that was enough to ground him.

Kun’s hair flopped around as he shook his head definitively from side to side. “I _imagined_  him again, Johnny.”

The remaining shards of his heart burst into flames. He wasn’t real to Kun? He didn’t matter to Kun? He-

“Breathe,” Jaemin encouraged firmly, rubbing his back. Renjun had completely forgotten about his need for oxygen and took a deep, shuddering breath. He’d never been more thankful for meeting Jaemin than in that moment.

“R-right,” was all Johnny could force out.

“Why won’t they go away? Why won’t the visions go away, Johnny?” Kun cried, lifting his head again to look Johnny in the eye. Johnny tenderly wiped the tears from his cheeks with a light smile.

“Maybe… this one is real,” Johnny suggested, unable to find a better way of introducing the reality to his mentally broken down friend. 

Renjun took another shuddering breath at Jaemin’s encouragement as he awaited Kun’s answer. 

“I’ve told you before, Johnny,” Kun stated brokenly. He laughed bitterly, stepping out of Johnny’s arms and turning to look Renjun dead in the eye. His gaze was clear now, like he’d fully pushed the notion of his brother from his mind.

“He’s dead. My monster of a father killed him over six years ago. Renjun is dead.”

And Renjun swore a part of his really did die in that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wasn't that just f u n  
> everyone happens to know each other whoop-dee-doo!
> 
> [character aesthetics](https://twitter.com/jumping_jxx/status/1081326989691310080?s=20) (is that what these are?)
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/jumping_jxx)
> 
>  
> 
> Character's Songs:  
> 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 - Demi Lovato  
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 - Mumford and Sons (ignore the religious meanings or whatever)  
> 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 - Bebe Rexha and Martin Garrix  
> 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐞 - Katy Perry  
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐔𝐩 - Jason Mraz


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things never change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is 10,000 words of mess. i’m sorry there was so much i wanted to make happen  
> oh and thanks for the 100 kudos ayee im very happy ;;
> 
> an eventful (messy and poorly written) chapter coming your way *mwah*

“Kun, Kun, wait,” Johnny called out to the man who had swiftly turned and walked away from Renjun. Johnny shot Renjun a glance with something akin to sorrow glistening in his eyes before chasing after Kun.

His brother’s shadow disappeared around a hut farther down the main road and Johny’s followed soon after, leaving Renjun shaking in Jaemin’s arms.

“Just breathe,” Jaemin encouraged, planting light kisses on the crown of Renjun’s head. Renjun barely noticed anything Jaemin said or did anymore but he could still _feel_  himself in Jaemin’s arms, which was enough to keep him from falling back into his mind.

Renjun rolled back onto his back, letting his feet and knees rest stretched in front of him. The sky was brighter than he remembered and he couldn’t ever recall feeling the sun rise. So much had just happened.

Jaemin sat next to him, holding Renjun’s hands in his and allowed the boy to rest in the quiet of the empty town.

Everything in his head bounced around and consumed every corner to no end, wrapping his mind in a haze of anger, confusion and sadness. Basic emotions he should’ve known how to control better. Everything - the fighting and Kun and his failed mission to protect Mrs. Cho’s home - beat down on him until he could feel the growing darkness in his mind slip through the cracks in the barrier he’d exposed in this vulnerable state.

Maybe hours passed before Renjun finally sat up and got to his feet, tugging Jaemin up with him, and turned back towards the place he’d left Yuta at.

“We should tell Mrs. Cho and the rest the news,” he decided, pulling Jaemin along with him. The earthbender complied silently, though it was clear on his face that his own head was still in turmoil.

Yuta greeted them at the woods’ edge with a bright smile that dulled the instant he took in Renjun’s shaken state.

“What-”

“I’ll fill you in on the bits that i understood but Renjun will have to tell you the rest when he’s ready,” Jaemin promised before Yuta could finish. So Yuta pressed his lips together and nodded, though his worried gaze never left Renjun.

“Most of the people were still asleep, so I let them sleep a bit longer, if that’s okay, they should be up now though,” Yuta explained, leading the way to the cave he’d ushered the villagers into. “And those kids didn’t give me any more trouble after you and Johnny came along so thanks a lot for that,” Yuta told Renjun whose eyes were blank and unfocused, though he nodded nonetheless.

A squeeze from Jaemin’s hand reminded him to properly answer Yuta and he flashed Jaemin a light smile before turning to the other firebender.

“It was no trouble, I’m still surprised that they thought you were a spy though,” Renjun admitted. Jaemin gave his hand another squeeze but his gaze lingered on Renjun as if to ask why he’d been up here with Johnny before. Yuta spoke before Renjun could answer his questioning stare though.

“It’s understandable I guess, the scar is hard to cover up in heat like this,” Yuta shrugged, strolling up to the mouth of the small cave.

He ducked in and a chorous of greetings drifted out, sounding still a bit wary but glad to see Yuta otherwise.

“Everyone, the troops have left and there are some very nice people who helped to drive them out, make sure to treat them nicely and not like intruders in your homes,” Yuta cautioned. “They did everything in their power to save your valuables and houses but the village is in a bad state.”

“How bad is bad?” Someone asked from he back. Renjun peaked his head in.

A mass of bodies laying in dirty clothes atop folded blankets and other people covered the cave floor. Children bounced on their parent’s stomachs and the elderly had been shuttled into the back to keep them warmer and safer. The sense of community despite their predicament was so strong the Renjun would’ve guessed they were all one big family.

_But that’s exactly what a community is, no?_

“Uh,” Yuta turned to Renjun, fingers fiddling over the wood on his staff and his eyes searching for help.

Renjun shoved Jaemin into the mouth of the cave, not wanting to risk any kind of disturbance. The villagers already had enough to deal with, they didn’t need to see the firebender who supposedly started it all. The firebender who lit the first flame.

Jaemin’s mouth opened and closed several times like a fish out of water gasping for air until he was finally able to deliver the news.

“Bad enough that it will take a few days, maybe even weeks to completely fix everything.”

Air rushed through the silent cave, making a light whistling noise.

“But, you’re gonna let us see, right?” Someone from the back called.

“Of course, of course,” Yuta said, “but the chances of any of you being able to sleep in your own beds is slim…”

Renjun didn’t join them on the trek back down to the village. He didn’t think he could handle the looks on their faces when they saw how ruined everything they’d work for had become.

“You sure you’ll be okay?” Yuta asked, trailing behind the rest of the group. Renjun offered an unconvincing shrug.

“Why don’t I have Jaemin take them down so I can keep you company, or would you rather be with Jaemin?” Yuta offered, sighing and combing his fingers through his messy hair.

“No, you can stay,” Renjun murmured, dropping onto the soft grass of the hill’s peak to look out over the untouched fields surrounding the blackened village. Jaemin turned at the sound of his name but Renjun waved him off, forcing a small smile. Jaemin eventually left but not before narrowing his eyes at Yuta.

Yuta sat down next to Renjun with a light grunt, making sure to keep his distance from the boy.

The sun was high in the sky at that point. Renjun’s entire sense of time was ruined and he didn’t bother to try and think of how long it must’ve taken for him to get up off the ground after Kun walked away.

Kun.

“I- I haven’t told you everything about me yet,” Renjun confessed, mercilessly ripping up a fistfull of grass and watching the leaves fall through his fingers to be carried off by the wind. The strands swirled and dipped and looped before they became invisible to the eye against the bright sun. It brought him little satisfaction but it seemed to do something for the creeping chaos in his mind that had remained present through the night and day.

“I’m not asking you to,” Yuta replied. “Keep as much or as little to yourself, don’t feel like you need to tell your life story just because I told you a part of mine.”

He sighed quietly, ripping up another handful of grass. This time, he opened his palm and before the wind could whisk the leaves off again, he watched them blacken around the edges, curling in on themselves before smoking and bursting into flames. The tiny blaze died quickly and a small pile of ash laid in Renjun’s hand.

“You… don’t deserve to be dragged into my problems,” Renjun said solemnly, “but if you’re going to stick around you should know a few things.” He ripped up and burned another hunk of grass, letting the flames grow to an almost dangerous height and heat. It felt good to give in to the anger and confusion.

“What do you mean by stick around?”

“If you’re going to follow through with helping the villagers resettle their lives and then maybe stay after a bit in case the Fire Nation returns,” Renjun clarified. “I’m not asking you to, only if you want to,” he added quickly, tearing up more grass to burn.

“Don’t do that.” Yuta reached out his hand to Renjun’s that was clutching a hunk of grass and lightly placed his fingertips over the boy’s, pushing Renjun’s hand back down to let the leaves fall back to the earth.

“Sometimes we lose sight of who we are and what we had set out to do in the first place,” Yuta began, twisting around to reach behind him and pluck a vibrant, green leaf from a bush. He brought it in front of Renjun, moving the boy’s fingers up to grip the leaf between his forefinger and thumb and took a deep breath while placing his fingers over Renjun’s. “But if we focus hard enough and go back to the beginning, back to our roots, back to the basics,” Yuta continued, exhaling and letting a small hole burn through the center of the leaf. “We can refocus the lense we see the world through.”

“It’s easy to get destructive when our feelings get complicated and hard to handle, or when we lose our way, but by refocusing yourself and bringing the people close to you closer for guidance, things become much clearer.”

Renjun knew the exercise Yuta was having him do. He’d done it a million times over with his father’s trainers and before them, Kun. The goal was to contain the burning embers in the center of the leaf and not let the smoke disappear but not let the hole consume the leaf.

“You’re more than what you think you are, Renjun,” Yuta continued, removing his hands. “You may say you’re a brilliant firebender who has a sense of adventure, hence why you’re traveling the Earth Kingdom, but that’s only a small part of you. Remember that there’s a whole lot of the rest of you that exists.”

Renjun lifted his gaze from the leaf in his hands to meet Yuta’s. “My own brother doesn’t think I exist at all. He thinks I’m dead.”

“I’m sure your brother has his reasons but just for the rest of today and maybe even tomorrow, I suggest you focus on yourself before focusing on other people. It doesn’t matter if the villagers have problems with you or what Jaemin’s doing, there’s nothing you can do about them before you recenter yourself. If you don’t, destruction easily overpowers rational thought and you’ll dig an even deeper grave for yourself.”

Renjun clung to every word Yuta said, feeling himself filled with a newfound hope since Kun had completely rejected his existence.

“I’m sorry I’m like this, I can usually control myself better than this,” Renjun apologized, turning his eyes back to the leaf. The smoldering ring had spread a bit farther out than he ever would’ve let it go while he was in training. He really was losing it.

“It’s not about controlling your emotions, it’s never about how well you can bottle them up and forget about them,” Yuta corrected, watching as the ring evened out and stayed the same size for a few minutes before he continued. “It’s about learning how to handle and work with them in a way that doesn’t render you in a destructive, overwhelmed state of mind.”

“You’re speaking from experience?” Renjun questioned out of genuine interest. Yuta spoke so wisely there was no way his words could’ve been made up on the spot.

He nodded. “When I was first ordered to start enslaving and killing people, I was unbelievably upset and angry. I always stayed awake at night, plotting ways to light up the camp tents and let the other soldiers burn. I convinced myself that they deserved that much at least, to suffer the same death they caused so many other people to go through.” Yuta’s eyes remained clear as he spoke and his voice was firm without a hint of remorse for his wicked thoughts. He’d already come to terms with himself, Renjun realized and he held a newfound respect for the deserter.

“I realize now that if I had truly let my ambition and anger get the better of me, I would’ve gotten myself killed at best. I would’ve had a bounty on my head with all of the other units out to hunt me down in unfamiliar territory. Back then though, oh you would’ve shrunk back into the shadows if you saw the anger and hate I carried with me everyday for months and months. But I got help from my mother when I wrote home one day and she reminded me that I should never act solely on rage and anger. Even as a non bender she was my best teacher for my firebending as a kid,” he sighed, eyes losing focus for a second as if he was seeing something through space and time. But his eyes cleared again in an instant and he gave a small smile before continuing.

“So by taking time to clear my mind of corrupt ideas and refocus on sorting through my thoughts and feelings, I was able to leave in the dead of night and start over. Well, try to at least but I’m still working on that part,” he finished, flashing a wider grin at Renjun.

Amazing really how little you know about people sometimes.

_Yeah, in reality you know very little about Jaemin, seeing as Johnny, a nice man, accused your friend of murder._

Renjun forced the thought back. He shouldn’t worry about Jaemin, that was Jaemin’s past to deal with.

He sat for a while longer, the smoldering ring no longer spreading at all and Yuta gave him an approving pat on the shoulder.

“You’ll figure it out on your own I’m sure, you seem like a well educated and a bright kid. Just… use your head alongside your heart, never one or the other.”

_Oh if only you knew how poorly my head and heart get along._

“Th-thanks Yuta, this means a lot to me.”

“Hey, we gotta stick together, us firebenders stuck on our own, right?”

Renjun gulped and forced a casual smile. He should tell him.

“I should probably tell you…” he tried but stopped. That didn’t feel right.

Yuta turned and looked at Renjun. The glow of the late afternoon sun bathed his face beautifully and Renjun briefly questioned how long he’d been sitting with Yuta.

Breathe.

“How… would you react if I told you I have ties to the Royal Family of the Fire Nation? Like, to the Fire Lord himself?”

Yuta’s eyes widened and his tongue darted out to nervously lick at his lips.

“I’d probably first ask if you plan on turning me in for treason a d then ask exactly how closely you’re ‘tied’ to the Royal Family,” he replied slowly and an octave higher than normal, carefully watching Renjun’s expression.

The younger nodded and turned back to his leaf briefly before looking back up into Yuta’s eyes. The vibrant green had since dulled but the ring was still in the exact same spot, small curls of smoke rising into the air.

“I’d never turn you in, you’ve done too much for me, the guilt would be unbearable. Plus, the Fire Nation dungeons are just about the worst things in the world, I wouldn’t wish a day in there on my worst enemy,” Renjun said finally and Yuta visibly relaxed. The sigh of relief that left his lips made Renjun feel good about his choice.

“But I’m… pretty closely tied to the Royal Family…”

“... Elaborate… what does ‘pretty closely’ mean? You don’t have to tell me of course, just, I’m curious,” Yuta added quickly but his eyes were filled with curiosity. Renjun could only assume it was safe enough and he crossed his fingers that he wasn’t making a fatal mistake.

“You, um, you can’t tell Jaemin because I haven’t told him yet,” he said and Yuta nodded seriously.

“Pinky swear,” Yuta said, holding up his right hand with his pinky extended.

Renjun stared blankly at the outstretched finger with a quirked brow. “What?”

“It- it’s like- never mind, it’s like a hand shake, but- just forget it,” Yuta sighed heavily, actually looking disappointed in Renjun for not knowing what a “pinky swear” was.

“How… does that even make sense-”

“ _Forget it, just continue,”_ Yuta huffed, red rising in his cheeks and tinting the tips of his ears and Renjun could barely contain a laugh.

“I’m, um, I’m one of the Princes, actually. My father’s the Fire Lord,” he finally confessed.

Renjun swore that the near silent, strangled exhale from Yuta’s throat was a curse but it was hard to pinpoint exactly which one it had been. The deserter’s jaw had dropped to the ground and his eyes had stretched so wide he looked like a human tarsier.

There was silence for a minute as Yuta was visibly shaken by the news. His adam’s apple bobbed and his eyes flitted from Renjun’s face, to his clothes, to the leaf in his fingers, to the dagger still tucked away at his side.

“You’re serious?”

Renjun nodded. “Prince Renjun of the Fire Nation, former heir to the throne,” he stated as he’d done many times before in his father’s meetings in front of other world powers. Except then he’d been the only heir to the throne.

Yuta nodded slowly and picked his jaw up off the ground, rubbing his chin with a shaky hand. “Uh, what do you mean by “former” heir to the throne?”

He had to take a minute to compose himself and his thoughts. Yuta’s reaction had been expected but what hadn’t been expected was the glowing awe in his eyes and the intrigued smile. It gave Renjun a bubbly feeling in his stomach.

“I always thought that after my older brother disappeared, he’d died. But he’s alive and therefore, the crown prince of the Fire Nation,” Renjun explained quietly.

“So… that’s what you’re upset about?”

“No, no,” Renjun laughed, “I’m very happy that he’s alive, it’s just… today’s been a hard day.”

“Then why don’t you rest for now,” Yuta suguested, tugging the leaf from Renjun’s hands, “and I’ll stay by your side for as long as you want me to.”

Sleep sounded wonderful. He’d been awake for over twenty four hours at that point so it made sense why his head was still foggy, despite having gotten rid of the lurking thoughts of chaos.

Renjun laid back, draping an arm over his face to shield his eyes from the sun, and allowed his muscles to relax. Yuta had proven himself trustworthy enough on multiple occasions so fear wasn’t something seizing his gut, allowing him to let his thoughts be put to ease and for sleep to swaddle his mind.

 

“Wait, no, fuck, stop! I swear, he’s _fine,_ literally go up and touch him, he’s _f_ _ine!_ Bitch, put the rock down!” Yuta hissed loudly near Renjun’s ear, causing the peaceful cutrian of sleep to fall away. He was still for a minute, waiting for his senses to awaken enough for him to assess the situation.

“Don’t fucking touch him,” Jaemin’s voice growled. The grumbling of rocks grinding against one another back into their spots in the earth was enough to make Renjun sigh out loud. The sound of footsteps followed and Renjun could feel the presence of Jaemin standing over him.

“I didn’t do anything, chill!” Yuta argued and the warmth from Yuta’s hand on Renjun’s shoulder was whisked away.

Jaemin did some grumbling that Renjun didn’t catch but when he felt the familiar warmth of Jaemin press against his side it didn’t matter.

Yuta huffed loudly from farther away before the sound of him flopping back down onto the grass and sighing heavily stirred Renjun.

He blinked his eyes open, greeted by Jaemin’s tranquil face hovering over his. He hadn’t moved from his position laying on his back, but the person now next to him sat pressed against his side and peered down at his face.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” Jaemin asked sheepishly, sitting up so he was out of Renjun’s face.

The firebender shook his head but paused mid-shake and nodded instead. “You did, but it’s okay.”

Jaemin smiled fondly at him and helped Renjun to sit up straight. “What were you doing all this time? Sleeping?”

“For most of it, yeah, I think,” he said, stretching. “How long have I been gone for?”

“Only like five hours at most,” Yuta said from his spot in the grass farther away. “Oh yeah, I’m still here,” he teased with a pout in his voice. Jaemin tensed up at the sound of Yuta’s voice but Renjun ignored it and patted the ruffled hair on his own head.

“How are Mrs. and Mr. Cho doing?”

Jaemin’s voice changed. “They… they’re grateful that they’re still alive and that their home was spared the damage other homes suffered,” he said cautiously.

Renjun exhaled. Could’ve been worse. “How are you doing?”

Jaemin’s surprise was gone as soon as it had come and now he grinned broadly at Renjun. “I’m better now that you’re here. The fighting was really tough for me though…”

“But you’re here now, which means you pulled through, so I’m glad.”

“I guess you’re right,” he laughed quietly. “I’m glad I pulled through too.”

“If you two are gonna suck face, please let me know so I can leave,” Yuta called out again, this time with a smile in his voice. Jaemin’s lips pulled down into a frown but Renjun laughed loudly. As much as he felt embarrassed, the firebender and his snarky comments were really starting to grow on him.

“Mind your own business,” Renjun chided with a light laugh. The older man made a noise of indignation but rose to his feet in the end to return to the village and give the two boys some peace.

Jaemin leaned closer to Renjun, wrapping an arm around the other boy’s shoulders, and rested his head against his friend’s, watching Yuta retreat with his staff swinging by his side as he skipped down the hill. Renjun’s eyes darted to the pebble that launched from the earth with a flick of Jaemin’s wrist and he watched the small stone soar through the air, bonking Yuta squarely on the back of the head.

“Hey! That hurt!” He yelled over his shoulder to which Jaemin gave a deceptively sweet smile and waved the firebender away. He resettled himself against Renjun, having the decency to look a little sheepish when he glared at Jaemin.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “But anyways… I’m glad to know you got out of the burning house just fine and got through the whole Kun situation.”

Renjun hummed low, squashing the old bug of his father’s voice in his head and allowed himself to wrap an arm around Jaemin’s shoulder.

The next words he spoke were quiet and unsure, like he didn’t want to bring up the topic but still felt the need to. “Your, um, your brother actually helped me a lot at the end when I was exhausted.”

Instead of Renjun’s mental stability crumbling again, he smiled at the thought of his brother, alway the compassionate and caring type. Some things never change.

_Would Jaemin change? Has he changed?_

“Hey, Jaemin…”

“Yes?”

“Why did Johnny call you a criminal and a murderer?” He breathed quietly, holding on to Jaemin to keep him from walking away from the question.

Jaemin’s smile was wiped away and his eyes pooled, barely containing the very raw and real emotion. Renjun held his breath and bit his tongue. Maybe he’d stepped over a line.

“It’s… it’s a lot and a pretty long story,” Jaemin said, looking at Renjun for any sign to continue.

“There’s time,” he assured with a nod.

Jaemin’s chest rose with a deep breath. “I was born as a sick child, or so I’ve been told,” he began. The mood had shifted and Renjun could just see the embers still glowing beneath the dark emotions. “It’s a clear sign that I’ve been worthless from the start. That’s what they always said to me, that I’d never amount to anything, I was too weak, too frail to make it as an earthbender or even just survive on my own. I couldn’t have been older than ten when they got sick of me and kicked me to the streets of the town. I wasn’t about to stay there where my parents would continue to beat down on me, telling me how worthless and pathetic I am, so I ran.

“I ran away, to nowhere in particular. I became a wanderer, searching for my purpose, searching for what would satisfy the craving in my bones. I, um, I haven’t ever told anyone about it, but there’s always been something in me, in my mind I guess, telling me that I couldn’t just lay down and die, not yet. It’s like my… like the back of my mind had a mind of its own. Anyway, because of this… voice, I ran and searched for some work here and there for farmers. I helped tend their crops and livestock which was enough to keep food in my belly and a roof over my head for some time. I was probably around twelve or thirteen when I was walking through the forest. I still don’t know which one it was, and I met a boy. He was walking home and he asked me if I was lost.

“I’d asked him why it mattered to him and he’d shrugged, saying he was just coming from a friends house and was on his way home. He’d asked if I had a place to stay the night. I said no and he took me to his house. That was the first time I talked with Johnny. I ate with him, his mom and his dad and it was nice. Probably the only nice thing I remember about that place. Johnny gave his bed up for me that night, said he didn’t mind because it was only for one night. He was right about one thing in saying that…

“The next morning as I prepared to leave, his dad cornered me after Johnny had gone out to school and asked for his payment. I was very confused, as Johnny had offered to have me over for the night so it was implied that it was free, right? But he demanded some kind of payment and me, being the broke kid I was, offered to pay back in work. I had it all worked out, I’d work the day for him and be off before the sun set. But he had other ideas. His only child was still in school and he had no extra hands to work on the farm. One thing lead to another… and I became something like a slave to Johnny’s family.

“Everything was charged. Every second I spent under that roof was charged and even the tools he gave me to work in the fields were priced with more work. Sleeping, even on the floor of Johnny’s room with no blankets or pillow, costed me work. Eating or drinking the tiniest morsel landed me another full day for the man. His words were harsh, always telling me how I should’ve been more like Johnny, a strong, stable earthbender and how instead I was weaker than a chicken and too thin to do real work. It was a vicious cycle. I never thought I’d actually make it out of there but…. But that part inside of me kept telling me there was more to life than suffering and that I was capable of getting myself out and away.

“I stayed for… two or three years I think it was, with his raspy, bark of a voice always telling me how worthless I was. The mom would drag me too for not being as good as Johnny, though not as often, and so I’d go to sleep outside to try and keep the debt from piling too high to where I couldn’t see when it would end. I felt like absolute shit every night.”

Renjun spoke for the first time since Jaemin had begun, words suddenly very hard to come by in his mind blown state. “Th-thank you for telling me this, Jaemin. Really, I’m… I’m glad you trust me enough.”

“Hold up, I haven’t even told you why I killed a man,” he laughed quietly, but there was no laughter in his laugh. His eyes though, were filled with gratitude. “And I’m glad that you trust me enough to listen.”

The colors of their eyes, fiery, vivid, dark amber melding with the lush, deep, forest green of Jaemin’s, melded for a minute and Renjun felt himself torn in half. He felt it and he didn’t like it. He tore his eyes away and after a moment’s pause, Jaemin continued.

“I’d had enough, I was worth nothing. But that something in me, it kept talking to me, but almost wordlessly. I heard it speaking to me over and over and over until I finally listened to it.”

 

//The moon, a curved sliver of opal against the cloudy sky, casted only a pale light, giving the small, skinny boy cover in the shadows. He tiptoed silently, muting the sounds of his footsteps with a bending technique he’d been practicing for months. On nimble feet, his small shadow clambered through the open window of the son’s bedroom, landing without a sound on the inside of the house. He crept over the floor, all senses alert, making his way into the kitchen.

Atop the countertop was the glass jar of shiny gold, silver and copper pieces he’d never been able to see this close. He lifted the entire jar, tucking it in the crook of his elbow and moved back across the kitchen to get to his exit. A shiny, wooden piece caught his eye though.

He shifted his gaze and froze in his place to look over the wooden carving of a lady in the corner. He’d noticed her before but he never paid her much attention, as he always had to try and keep the time he spent under the roof to a minimum. But now that he was looking over the detailed wrinkles and folds of the clothing she wore, he felt an impulse to take her too.

He crept back and swiped her up with a silent hand and continued on his way back out the door.

He set foot outside of the house and bolted. Looking over his shoulder, he didn’t notice the man he was running straight at.

The father swung and connected with the boy’s face, causing him to topple backwards onto his back, shock evident on his face.

The shock quickly evolved into fear and he desperately tried to stand to get away. But the man drew the pitchfork he’d been holding and raised it above his head, prepared to bring it down through the boy.

“You really are a worthless, filthy, rat,” he snarled and slammed the pitchfork down. It never hit the boy. Instead, it whacked a stone the boy had ripped from the ground and shoved at the man, just in time to keep himself from getting impaled.

He scrambled to his feet and ran away, hearing the man curse after him. Heavy footsteps followed after him and he broke into an all out sprint, racing towards the forest. If he could get to the forest, he could climb a tree and wait out the night.

But the father followed him, hurling the pitchfork at the boy through the air. He barely dodged it and could feel the wind rush over his skin as it whizzed past his shoulder just a hair’s width off.

He stopped and turned, ready to say goodbye once and for all. He jumped into his stance and stomped his foot. The earth close to his feet lifted, swelling into a wave and with a shove, he sent the wave tearing across the space between them right at the father.

The pitchfork was caught in the swell of the wave and shot up into the air, flipping over three times before falling down and stabbing into the father who’d fallen from the attack.

A loud cry tore through the thin veil of silence, followed by a clap of thunder and a flash of lightning, welcoming the dark storm clouds that had been hidden by the dark night. Rain poured down and Jaemin sprinted away, free at last.//

 

There was a heartbeat of silence after Jaemin finished speaking that Renjun used to try and formulate an appropriate response. His mind was blown. “You’ve been getting by ever since?”

“All on my own. There just something I feel, like there’s more to my life than this so I’ve just been searching since. Now you’re here with me and I don’t know if much else matters,” he said, light and color returning to his eyes accompanied by a smile brightening his face.

Renjun sighed. He had Jaemin and Yuta to help him through the fight and now with the aftermath involving Kun. That felt like more than enough to help him get by.

 

 

 

 

_It was pouring, hard and the night casted darkness to obscure what the pale moonlight beaming from the thin crescent in the sky didn’t reach. But he there was._

_The small boy he’d loved with all his heart. He was standing right there._

_He stumbled forward, ignoring Johnny’s calls and pushed his way through the soaked leaves and branches to the small body standing at the edge of the forest._

_He shouldn’t be heading out of the cover of the trees in a storm like this. He should be hurrying back and jumping under the patchwork quilt spread over the mattress of folded blankets in the shack he’d built. He should be going back to the new home he’d found for himself._

_But there he was. His small frame just as he’d remembered it and soft, fluffy hair trimmed neat like it always had been. Some things never change._

_He was too blinded by his own tears mixed with the rain to notice how the boy’s hair wasn’t wet with a single drop of water, or how his figure was never blurred by the tears in Kun’s eyes._

_He ran at the boy, prepared to tackle him in a crushing, love filled bear hug. The kind he knew his brother loved and would try to give him all the time._

_He reached the boy but as his outstretched fingertips brushed over the back of the boy’s head and the name spilled from his trembling lips, Renjun had vanished._

_His mind ached in confusion but not as much as his heart ached from sorrow._

_The glimmer of fluttering hope in his chest was choked and burned to ash by the flaming, unforgiving hands of his father yet again._

_So it really was true, Renjun was dead. Renjun was dead and had been all this time, Kun was too much of a fool to see it for real._

_He dropped to his knees and sobbed, clinging to the image of his brother’s scrunched up nose and smiling eyes, his twinkling laughter and his sweet, sweet voice. He clung so desperately to the only thing that had kept him alive for the eighteen years he’d lived in that miserable palace._

_He clung to the hope that maybe his father had lied once again._

_But he was only met with grief and heartache._

_Renjun was dead._

_Some things never change._

 

 

 

 

The sun was dipping below the horizon when Renjun and Jaemin rose, hand in hand, and made their way back to the village.

“What about you and your brother? You and Kun?” Jaemin asked out of the blue, swinging their joined hands together.

The motion seemed to flick a switch in Renjun’s head because a shiver ran down his spine and he tried to pull away.

“Why- why are you holding my hand?” He asked, genuinely confused. Jaemin’s face mirrored the confusion on Renjun’s like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It wasn’t like either of them were crying and there seemed to be no obvious reason to comfort the other so for Renjun it was sort of puzzling.

“Because… I like you… and you like me…?” The arch in his eyebrow matched the puzzlement in his voice and Renjun felt guilt wash over him.

His face heated up and Jaemin’s question was forgotten. Their pace slowed when Renjun slowed, trying to think of how to word his thoughts properly.

_How to turn “FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK” into an actual sentence…?_

“Oh.”

It felt right, like it had all other times before when they’d held hands. But now it felt off. Still felt right, just different. Jaemin had just spilled his life story. Renjun had barely told him anything other than his name.

“You… you remember that, right?” Jaemin asked slowly, scared he might’ve overstepped a line.

Renjun had to think faster. “Oh- yeah, you- you’re talking about, um, like, last night?”

_Smooth._

Jaemin blinked and nodded slowly, squeezing Renjun’s hand tighter. “Right. So… I like you, you like me…”

Renjun’s brain did a funny thing where it forgot to keep his heart beating steadily and caused the muscle to skip a beat. He felt his breathing shorten and his mouth go dry. His hands got sweaty and his brain spiraled downward, coming to a conclusion finally.

“Are you asking me to kiss you?”

“What?!” Jaemin shouted loudly, followed by violent coughing. “N-no, _no,_ that’s so- that’s not what I- no, no.”

“Oh okay,” he breathed. They stood still on the hill, sneaking awkward glances at each other while pretending to study the grass swaying by their feet.

“Um,” Renjun cleared his throat, “we- we should go.”

Jaemin blinked and stared at Renjun for a minute while his mind returned from wherever it must’ve wandered.

“Yeah, right…”

They returned to the village, Renjun dropping Jaemin’s hand on sight of the familiar, tall, muscular build that was Johnny.

Johnny stood by some older looking villagers as he asked questions while gesturing to their ruined home.

“I’ll get right on that for you then,” Johnny replied after one of the men said something. “If you could, please stand back.”

He grounded himself, digging his feet in at a shoulder width apart, and lifted his arms, slowly guiding up a wall from the ruins of the home. He finished four walls stepping back to dust off his hands, looking quite pleased with himself.

“And you’d said wooden planked roof? We can get on that tomorrow but I’ll just add a stone roof for now, alright?”

“Let’s go find Mrs. Cho,” Jaemin huffed, tugging Renjun away. “I don’t want to deal with that right now,” he sighed heavily.

“Yeah, yeah, no problem.”

Jaemin took Renjun’s hand back in his, only holding tighter when the other tried to pull away, unbothered by the pressing stares and hushed whispers that followed them as they walked past clusters of villagers.

“Jaemin,” he mumbled, “they’re looking at… at us.”

“So let them,” he shrugged. “They’re no better than us and we’re no better than them, there’s nothing to be shy about.”

Renjun pursed his lips and swallowed.

They made it back to Mrs. Cho’s and stood at the door for a minute. The tarp that had flapped in the doorway had been devoured by the flames, unsurprisingly. But Mrs. Cho must’ve been back in her home for some time given that there was a new cloth draped over the opening and most of the ash stains had been removed from the walls.

When they stepped in, a third voice different from Mrs. and Mr. Cho’s filled the home.

“Of course we’ll help you out, it’s a good thing my friends and I are in the area so it will take no time to get you resettled comfortably.”

Renjun stopped abruptly in the doorway and Jaemin skidded to a halt at his side, throwing a questioning look the firebender’s way.

“Kun’s here.”

Jaemin made a very quiet ‘ah’ sound while Mr. Cho’s voice replied to Kun and he nodded. “Do you want to leave and come back after he leaves?”

 _Clear head. Center yourself. Focus on yourself and no one else,_  he reminded himself, remembering Yuta’s words from earlier.

“No, it’s fine. We’re just here to check up on Mrs. Cho,” he decided firmly, starting back into the house.

They cleared the doorway and stepped inside, enveloped instantly by stronger, more acrid fumes from the fires. Renjun checked the open firepit where Mrs. Cho cooked her food and sure enough, there was a strong blaze heating a steaming pot.

“Yes, we’ll get started first thing tomorrow but I must meet up with my friend for now,” Kun said in response to whatever Mr. Cho had asked.

“Oh, please stay!” Mrs. Cho called from the pot she was stirring and the bowls she was unstacking. “You must be starving and we’re already expecting friends over so it wouldn’t be a bother,” she insisted, waddling up to Kun.

“Oh, miss, I really couldn’t, thank you very much for the offer but I don’t want to take up your time together-”

“No, please, it’s the least we can do for you, after you’ve done all of this for us,” Mr. Cho added. Renjun could see them from where he stood, gazing up at Kun like he held the stars and the sky in his hands. He knew how it

A quiet laugh escaped Kun’s lips and he smiled at them, sighing quietly. But Renjun caught how his brother clasped his fingers of one hand in the other and squeezed until his knuckles turned white. “If you insist, but please don’t feel the need to pay me back-”

“Please, make yourself at home! The soup will be done soon. Dear, why don’t you go and find those two sweet boys from before, surely they’ll be hungry as well,” she called to her husband while pushing Kun down into one of the barely stable chairs.

Jaemin cleared his throat then and walked further into the house, letting his face light up with a smile when Mrs. Cho saw him.

“Oh, Jaemin!” She exclaimed, opening her arms for the boy. Jaemin squeezed Renjun’s hand once before letting their fingers come undone and walked into Mrs. Cho’s arms.

“Mrs. Cho, it’s good to see that you’re doing well,” he said, pulling away and returning her smile.

“Oh, it’s all thanks to you and- Renjun! Please, please, come in, come in!”

Renjun watched Kun’s eyebrows knit together and his face harden at the sound of Renjun’s name though he made no move to look up from the wooden chopsticks he was studying in his hand. Renjun stepped in, greeting Mrs. Cho in a more formal way than Jaemin, despite her attempts to smother him in a hug.

“Please sit, the soup will be done soon!”

Jaemin flashed a tight smile at Kun who nodded back politely despite the slight furrow between his own eyebrows.

He spread his feet apart, stomping once and using his arms to guide a stone stool from the ground and repeated the motion to pull up a second seat for Renjun.

“Renjun,” he murmured quietly, gesturing for the boy to sit down next to him and across from Kun. His brother kept his eyes trained on the ash-streaked table.

Renjun sat and not a minute later, a bowl was placed before him, filled to the brim with steaming soup. Bits of meat and vegetables floated on the top and Renjun wondered how she’d been able to restock her pantry so fast.

“Ah, be careful, it’s quite hot,” she warned, placing down a bowl for Jaemin and Kun. “Dear, what happened to that nice wooden chair Miyuki’s husband made for us?”

“Oh, let me help you look,” Jaemin offered quickly, standing and leaving to go into their bedroom to help search for the piece of furniture that had likely been burned beyond repair.

Renjun sat in silence across from Kun who poked at the soup with his chopsticks.

“Not hungry?” Renjun asked quietly but with a confidence he was lacking earlier in the day.

Kun jumped slightly at the sound of Renjun’s voice but he said nothing in response.

Renjun took a bite of soggy cabbage and waited another minute before trying again. “It’s been six years and you’re not even going to say hello to your brother?”

Kun lifted his head slightly and Renjun could see the tears Kun was holding back in his eyes. “Why do I keep seeing you?” He asked quietly instead of answering Renjun’s question.

THe younger brother sighed quietly and kept eating before answering. “What makes you think I know that? You’re the older brother, wouldn’t you know better?”

Kun bit his bottom lip gently and brought up a hand to delicately wipe away the tears pooling in his eyes. “Even after all these years I never found an answer… I can’t believe you’re actually conversing back this time… like you’re actually engaged... what the hell...”

Renjun sucked in a breath. Silence passed for what seemed like an eternity. “I missed you.”

“You said that last time,” Kun replied without hesitation. “And the time before that…”

“I still miss you though. I’ve missed you since the last night I saw you.”

Kun was silent.

So Renjun continued. “It was so hard for me. Why did you leave?”

Kun clamped a hand over his mouth to contain the sob that shook his shoulders. “I’ve already told you this.”

Renjun didn’t know how much longer he could handle Kun ignoring his existence. “No you haven’t. You told the Renjuns you saw before about it, but you haven’t told me.”

Kun took a shaky breath and swallowed. “I’ll tell you… I’ll tell you again if you decide not to disappear the second I try to touch you again.”

Renjun relaxed. Easy enough for him, a real life Renjun, to do. “I’m not going to disappear on you as long as you don’t disappear on me.”

Kun looked up, straight into Renjun’s eyes. The look he gave held more than words could describe. Confusion. Hurt. Anger. Fear were a few Renjun cou

“Sorry that took so long!” Mrs. Cho chirped as she returned and slammed down the old chair they’d been looking for. “This little guy was hiding out behind the bed frame. Well, what’s left of the poor thing.”

Mr. Cho took his seat finally and Jaemin sat down next to Renjun, eyeing Kun’s watery eyes and Renjun’s tightened jaw nervously but brushed it off when Mr. Cho began to speak.

“Mister Kun, it seems like you met Renjun here already,” he began, slurping his soup. The tensing in Kun’s shoulders was minuscule but Renjun was positive it had been there. “This other lovely boy is Jaemin, they’ve been inseparable for as long as we’ve known them, isn’t that right?” He grinned at Renjun.

Jaemin nodded, beaming like always when he heard Renjun’s name and Renjun gave a small, tight nod. Kun eyed him with apprehension.

The kitchen had a pleasant atmosphere while Mrs. and Mr. Cho conversed with all three boys and repeatedly tried to offer Renjun and Jaemin a place for the night.

“Mrs. Cho, it’s fine,” Jaemin laughed lightly, “Renjun and I can find a place out under the stars, it’s really no problem. The old bed frame wasn’t looking too good anyways.”

She sighed quietly, fretting over what meant nothing to Renjun. He’d slept outside with Jaemin before.

Kun spoke then, definitive. “He- uh, they both can come with me. It’ll rain tonight so you wouldn’t be able to see the stars anyway.”

Mrs. Cho clapped her hands enthusiastically. “Oh, you really are such sweet boys! The next time my children return home for a visit I’ll miss your good company.”

“Honey, those are our own children,” Mr. Cho chuckled, placing a hand over her’s.

“I know,” she whined, “but these boys just fill my heart with happiness,” she added with a pout.

Renjun’s own heart swelled. Praise was scarce within the palace walls and the praise his father gave him went along the lines of, “not as terrible as last time but still lousy.” To hear someone say something like that with the fondness Mrs. Cho’s voice was dripping with was cleansing. It made him feel like in this mess of a day he was doing something right.

“It’s fine, we can find somewhere else,” Jaemin replied before Renjun could consider his brother’s offer. Deep in Jaemin’s eyes there were dangerous emotions lurking in the depths.

Renjun bit his tongue. He needed to think things through and consider what would be best for everyone involved.

“Why not?” Kun asked, slightly taken aback. “We won’t hurt you,” he pressed with a knowing look on his face. Jaemin tensed next to Renjun.

“I think it’s fine, Jaemin,” Renjun piped up, watching Jaemin’s eyes flit from person to person until they locked with his. He gave a very subtle dip of his chin which Jaemin returned before turning back to Kun.

“You won’t hurt us?” He checked and Kun confirmed with a nod. “Then that sounds lovely, thanks.”

Kun’s smile of forced sweetness remained the same for the rest of the meal and even as the boys stood to leave.

“I’ll bring them back all in one piece,” he said with a light laugh to Mrs. Cho who had stood to clear the table. Renjun waved goodbye to the nice couple and followed his brother out the door where Jaemin was already waiting with their stuff that they’d left in the house the night before.

“It’s… not in great condition,” he warned, “but it wasn’t burned completely so I think that’s a bit of a plus.”

He accepted the bag with a quick smile and pulled his dagger from the waistband of his pants, plopping it back in his bag. He adjusted the bow and quiver slung over his shoulder by Jaemin and followed after Kun who’d already begun walking.

Jaemin slung his arm over Renjun’s shoulders this time, pulling the boy in close to his body. He didn’t mind the touch this time and it comforted him in a way he hadn’t known he wanted to be.

 

The town was quiet and the sun was nearly gone from sight, though Kun navigated into the brush and through the forest like it was midday.

They entered a different part that Renjun hadn’t been exposed to before, though it didn’t make much of a difference as he was just as unfamiliar with the section, that Kun plowed through confidently, as he was with the strip he and Jaemin had passed through.

But there was one big difference and that was the feeling that seeped though his bones from walking through the forest in the dim sunlight. The trees tops were almost invisible against the black, night sky. And the forest floor couldn’t be seen with the moon and stars hidden by large, billowing clouds that crossed the sky rapidly. Kun had been right about that much.

The tree trunks seemed to grow in width and the gentle sounds of birds and critters scuttling through the branches and over the dirt was replaced with the hissing of cicadas woven into the chirping of crickets and accompanied by several owls spread through the trees.

“Follow me,” he directed the two boys, beckoning them with his hand before turning and walking behind a tall tree trunk.

Renjun squinted in the darkness but refrained from sparking any type of flame. Kun didn’t seem too worried so he figured he shouldn’t be either.

Kun waited for both boys to circe the wide trunk that stretched upwards, long tangles of vines hugging tightly to the bark and winding around, reaching for the leaves in the tall branches.

“Here,” Kun said to Renjun, handing him a looped rope that had been hidden by the tangle of vines. Kun’s knuckles skimmed the skin on Renjun’s fingers and he watched with a stone mask as his brother retracted his hand quickly, like the touch had burned him.

“Just hold on tightly and don’t let go,” he commanded, standing back and motioning for Jaemin to do the same. Kun cast his eyes on the leaves hanging high above and cupped his hands over his mouth, copying the sound of an owl’s hoot. It was loud and clear, carrying into the treetops easily. So easily that the leaves directly above began to rustle.

“Remember, don’t let go,” Kun told him, reaching out and giving the rope above the loop a quick jerk down. Renjun’s feet flew off the ground in an instant and before he knew what was happening, the leaves that had been several stories above were rushing at his face.

He bit back a cry of surprise and clung to the rope with both hands, bracing himself for impact with the branch that the leaves stemmed from.

But two hands jerked his momentum to a halt, fingers digging into his ribs under his arms, and lowered him slowly until his feet bumped something firm. Renjun flexed his foot and relaxed into a standing position on the branch, looking around in the dark for the person who had so kindly caught him.

“Yuta? How’d you get here?”

“Yeah, nice to see you too Renjun,” he laughed, dropping his hands from Renjun’s body quickly and glancing behind Renjun. “Johnny let me up here, since I didn’t have a place to go and I helped him with cleaning out some peoples’ houses.”

Renjun nodded slowly. “Nice.”

“Yeah, and Johnny just told me to get the… whatever you wanna call that,” he said, gesturing to the rope that still hung where it had stopped. “I had to come up the same way except I whacked my head on the branch above.”

Renjun smiled and tentatively patted Yuta’s head as some strange way of comforting the other. Yuta laughed at this and shook his head, waving off Renjun.

“I’m fine, but you should move. I’m assuming Jaemin is right behind, no?” He asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Renjun opened his mouth to protest against the sly remark, knowing all too well what Yuta had been implying based on his past remarks, but a the sound of rocks scraping against one another cut him off and in the next second, Jaemin was eye level with Renjun.

“Renjun,” he smiled, stepping off the column of earth onto the wide branch, letting it crash back into the ground.

“Yuta,” he greeted with far less warmth in his voice and a quick side glare that didn’t go unnoticed by anyone.

“Yikes,” Yuta breathed under his breath, raising his hands and stepping away from them. “I’ll head on back I guess, don’t worry about me, you two just go on your lovely way, don’t let me stop you.”

Renjun gave Jaemin a look with his eyes slightly narrowed and lips pulled into a subtle frown but the earthbender ignored him, giving Yuta a curt nod and grabbed Renjun’s hand, leading the boy away with him.

“Your brother took a different way up, said something about their leader wanting to meet with him quickly,” Jaemin said, glancing over his shoulder every few steps to keep an eye on Yuta. “But he told me there- ah!”

They stepped down onto a wooden platform nailed into the tree and even tied to the wide trunk with some vines for extra safety.

In front of them swayed a long, fairly narrow, suspension bridge. The wooden planks laid down between the two bottom ropes were poorly placed with gaping holes between some and a few that looked like they could crack if a mouse walked over it. The rope work was slightly better, simple trusses tied from the top two ropes to the bottom to on their respective sides though the rope itself was splitting and shredded in some areas.

Opposite them, the bride was connected to a ledge made of more wooden planks jutting out all around the circumference of the tree. Above that shelf rested another shelf, slightly higher up and supporting a small shack, barely visible to Renjun from where he stood bellow it.

“It looks fine…” Jaemin said slowly, putting out a tentative foot and poking the first board.

“Kun hasn’t died yet, neither has Johnny nor Yuta so it’s probably fine,” Renjun told Jaemin, pushing the other boy back to go first, despite the noise of Protest that gurgled from Jaemin’s throat. “Hey, if I start falling, would you be able to catch me in a pile of sand or something?”

“Uh… I don’t know how to sandbend and the ground is kinda far…” he mumbled, peering over the edge of the shelf they stood on. “Oh, fuck no, I don’t think I can bend from here.”

“Great, wish me luck,” Renjun sighed, gripping the rough, thick ropes along the sides and stepping out onto the bridge. He walked at a normal pace though distributed some of his weight to his hands that gripped the rails with white knuckles as he progressed, never letting his eyes leave the boards in front of his feet.

His foot reached the shelf and he let out a long breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“It’s fine,” he called to Jaemin. The boy nodded and stepped out, following after Renjun slowly and carefully.

Renjun turned and made his way around the trunk but he stopped once he looked up to find the source of the faint glow of light and he was awestruck.

Thick, overlapping branches of trees planted closely were covered up by a wide, wooden platform balanced over the cluster. Atop it were a few small shacks but they all circled around an opening. The opening had a dozen or so people, kids really, jubilantly socializing and dancing in the torchlight as a fiddle played from somewhere across the next bridge.

He stepped out onto the next bridge, intrigued by the laughter and music coming from what seemed to be the home base. The wood whined and the ropes creaked under his weight, swaying slightly in the air, but he hurried across, motioning for Jaemin to follow.

It was beautiful, really. Kids as young looking as nine and as old as Renjun himself laughed together, clapping their hands and shouting at the fiddler who sat on an overturned produce package and played with her whole body, swinging with the notes and bouncing with the beat. The music was festive, not the type Renjun was used to hearing, and lit up the night in a way torchlight could never. He felt warmth fill his chest at the scene.

Kids. Kids living on their own, learning to be a team with other kids and still enjoy their youth. Renjun could see why Kun would’ve enjoyed this place. There was a freedom that was never found within the walls of the palace and overall, it was truly a unique community he’d found himself.

 _More than a community. Family._  

Jaemin walked up next to Renjun. “They all look so happy,” he commented.

“They are,” Kun’s voice said, dancing on the cool night air gracefully. He sounded lighter than he had at the Cho’s house. Kun approached them, torchlight finally flickering over half of his face and falling against his cheekbones and nose. “We don’t celebrate often, but no one died in the raid, thanks to you two, and the Fire Nation most definitely aren’t in the area.”

Jaemin puffed his chest and returned Kun’s gentle smile.

“Here, I’ll get you two settled, but first, we need to treat those” he said, pointing at the dried blood crusted around a wound Renjun had suffered when diving into the burning house. Oh right, those.

Kun led them up to the large platform everyone was gathered on. Once he stood, kids waved and bowed, calling out his name. Kun returned each and everyone of their waves with his own and a shining face.

“In you go,” he said, holding aside the tattered curtain and gesturing for Renjun to enter. Jaemin tried to follow but a firm arm blocked his way and a stern glance from Kun kept him from fighting. “You’ll get your turn soon,” he told the boy and let the curtain unravel back into the doorway.

Renjun could hear Jaemin’s frustrated sigh and told himself he’d be in and out without keeping Jaemin waiting for too long. But Kun’s sharp eyes and stone face seemed to say otherwise.

 

 

Jaemin stared at the barrier between him and Renjun. His shoulders deflated with a long exhale and he let his chin fall to his chest as he studied the ground, scratching at an itch on his neck he didn’t really feel.

Turned and observed the kids jumping around, bouncing on their feet and swinging in eachother’s arms. They were all like him, right? Homeless, without parents and just kids. So why did he still feel so out of place?

A presence behind him startled him and his heart lodged in his throat. He wasn’t used to ever being snuck up upon.

He whipped around and was met with the one of the two people he absolutely didn’t want to meet. Just his luck, huh?

“Jaemin. Now that we’re alone, we can finally talk.”

 

 

Shadow warriors, would’ve been what he called them. They were silent, invisible and bone chilling. Maybe ninjas would’ve been a fitting description, but he knew what ninjas were and these weren’t ninjas. These shadow warriors were in a whole separate class. He learned quickly they wouldn’t let him go nor would they answer his questions.

So he hung limply in their grasp and tried to stomach the pit of fear drilling into his gut.

“Your identity and life will be spared,” the shadow that seemed to float in front of him said slowly, voice deep and rich like chocolate fudge.

He swallowed hard.

“But you must tell us… where are the Princes of the Fire Nation are?”

He shook his head vigorously. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

A hyena's laugh tore through the peace of the night. “So you _do_ know who we're talking about. I must say, you’re very bad at lying. So," he punctuated the word by reaching down to his side and letting the sound of metal scrape on metal echo, "tell us now, or suffer.”

He didn’t need to look down to know the uncomfortable pressure was a dagger, slowly pressing harder and harder into the thin, vulnerable skin stretched across his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((i had to repost these oops)) [character aesthetics](https://twitter.com/jumping_jxx/status/1081326989691310080?s=20) (is that what these are?)
> 
>  
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/jumping_jxx)
> 
>  
> 
> Character's Songs:  
> 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 - Demi Lovato  
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 - Mumford and Sons (ignore the religious meanings or whatever)  
> 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 - Bebe Rexha and Martin Garrix  
> 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐞 - Katy Perry  
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐔𝐩 - Jason Mraz


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But it’s the scars you can’t see that are the hardest to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh in case any of y’all need it - trigger warning: scars and mentions of past abuse
> 
> i’m so sorry about this chapter (it’s roughly average length but dialogue heavy:/) [cc](https://curiouscat.me/jumping_jxx)

“Kun.”

The infirmary hut was small and easily illuminated by the lanterns strung from the ceiling. Though intended to cure sickness and heal wounds, Renjun could feel his insides twisting and the back of his throat turning sour.

The space between them, Renjun’s back pressed up against the far wall and Kun’s shoulder blades just brushing the cover in the doorway, felt of the emptiness and loneliness that seeped through every crack and space in the palace after Kun had left. Now, this was the closest he’d been to Kun since his brother ran away and yet he’d never felt more separated and alone.

His brother’s gaze dropped and his unreadable mask cracked. “Tell me… just tell me I’m still going insane and that you’re not real, you’re just another vision from my imagination.”

It hurt just as much as the first time and his patience was wearing thin. Couldn’t Kun see how much he was hurting Renjun? “I can’t lie to you like that, Kun.”

His brother dropped to his knees. “It’s not real, it’s not real,” he whispered to himself, over and over as he’d done before. His fingers gripped at his hair and he ducked his head to obscure his face.

“Hug me, touch me, do whatever you need to so that you know I’m here. That I’m _alive_. _"_

Heartache shook Kun’s shoulders and his watery eyes drifted up to meet Renjun’s. “I can’t go through that again… I won’t fall for this trick again…” he tried telling himself.

He looked so broken. So sad. So weak. So unlike the Kun he remembered and loved.

Step by step, Renjun bridged the gaping space seeming to push them apart, until he stood over Kun’s crouched figure, a shell of his former self. Kun didn’t move away. He really didn’t believe Renjun was alive and in front of him.

Renjun squatted and tried to catch Kun’s eye. Pools shimmering like a lake in the summer but the tears came from a pain Renjun knew too well. “Kun… brother. I need you now. I need you to see me, to hug me. I need you to love me like you used to.”

The breath he took was so shaky, so frail, Renjun worried his brother would shatter if he breathed too hard. “I… I don’t- I can’t do that,” he rasped, blinking rapidly as if doing so would make Renjun disappear from his sight. “Y-you’re… you’re dead. P-please… just let me be… it hurts so much to think you still might be alive… god, I wish you were…”

His throat constricted and his heart heaved. Kun needed him now.

A surge overpowered his annoyance and hurt, washing through and leaving behind the same, unbreakable love he’d locked away in his heart with so many other things. With trembling fingers, Renjun reached out and gripped Kun’s shoulders, pulling his brother into his body. The first thing he noticed was how bony Kun had gotten, thin layers of muscle tensing under his touch but not enough to hide his skinny frame. The second, was the warm, wet dampness soaking into his shirt.

Kun cried silently, hiccuping sporadically, face pulled back a second after contact and hovering from Renjun’s body, eyes wild. But following the minute of second guessing himself, Kun pressed his face against Renjun’s chest, cries reverberating against his skin.

“Oh my god,” he whispered through his tears over and over again, disbelieving. Renjun fell back onto the ground, pulling Kun with him and wrapped his brother in his arms. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, this- is this real?”

It had felt like an eternity, waiting and dreaming of being held by his brother once again and it was finally a reality. He could feel himself molding against Kun’s body to fit perfectly against the familiar warmth Kun always had. It was familiar and welcomed, sending his heart jumping for joy and allowing his chest to fill easier.

Kun’s emotions cascaded down his face and Renjun held him, doing nothing more than wiping at his own tears.

“Y-you’re alive,” he breathed, eyes twinkling and voice unsteady. A fresh wave of tears hit and he bowled over Renjun, hugging the boy as tight as humanly possible, letting out a loud cry of joy. “You’re alive.”

 

 

 

 

“Relax, I’m not here to hurt you, I was given strict orders from both Kun and Taeyeon,” Johnny soothed, hands raised though his trademark smirk ever present on his face. “Can’t believe after all these years I finally found you again.”

“Don’t talk to me,” Jaemin hissed, backing away with his fists still raised.

“There’s no earth up here, buddy,” Johnny said, taking a threatening step towards the smaller boy, “and even if there was, we both know who the better bender is.”

“I said don’t fucking talk to me,” he shouted, struggling to avoid getting trampled by the dancing children. Their feet stomped to the beat and their hands clapped in the air, their laughter jubilant and uplifting. But Jaemin felt nothing but anxiety. His knees wobbled and his fists clenched, turning his knuckles bone-white.

“Or else what? What are you gonna do?” Johnny challenged, still pursuing the young boy at the same, slow, intimidating pace.

“I’ll kill you too,” Jaemin shot back before he could think twice, his nerves getting the better of him. “I killed your monster of a father, I’ll kill you too.”

“Oh and what would your precious friend say to that, huh? Who do you think kept his brother company all these years? Who do you think held his brother when he cried for his thought-to-be dead brother?”

Jaemin’s heel dipped below the boards, threatening to send him plunging off the side and to the forest floor. He quickly brought his back foot forward; he’d reached a dead end. He forced his face to remain hostile and threatening but the tendrils of fear taking hold and seizing his heart and lungs didn’t go away.

“What would your friend say when he found out you killed his brother’s best friend? He loves his brother more than you, you know that right? Kun will listen to Renjun but Renjun listens to you, and you bring trouble with you wherever you go,” Johnny pressed, voice no longer soothing. It was jagged like the stalactites that threaten to fall from the roof of the cave.

Jaemin pressed his lips together, spreading his feet into a wide base and bent his unstable knees to prepare for an attack. “Don’t fucking talk to me.”

“And you’re _still_  just as stupid as when you ran,” Johnny chuckled tauntingly. The tension was palpable and made Jaemin just want to shrink into nothing. Johnny had always been bigger. But now he was much stronger, no longer a twig. He could probably snap Jaemin’s neck with a flick of his wrist. Jaemin wanted to run. Run and find Renjun.

“But I didn’t come here for you, I just need to make something clear to you, alright?”

He made no move but Johnny took his silence as a yes.

“Right then.”

Johnny’s stare alone was enough to cause tremors to wash down his body and the hairs on the back of his neck to stand.

“Jaemin, I don’t know what your game is here… but I’ve known Kun longer than I’ve known you. Renjun’s got Kun under his thumb, but you’ve got Renjun under yours.”

Jaemin prickled at that comment. What did Johnny know?

“Again, I don’t know what your game is, but i know for sure you don’t like me,which doesn’t bother me,” Johnny continued, gaze never wavering, “but I’m not gonna let you take Kun from me, understood?”

Jaemin couldn’t stop the harsh bark that was pushed from his chest. “I’ll talk slowly because you’re so boneheaded about this: I’m not here for Kun. I’m here for Renjun and I’m not trying to sway Renjun in any way-” 

“You’ve-”

”Now, shut the fuck up and leave me alone.”

“Bold words for a scrawny kid teetering on the edge of a sky-high tree, ain’t it?”

“You’re just jealous that you couldn’t ever find anyone to love you. I know you know what your parents did to me, you’re just bitter that they spent more time dragging me down than lifting you up.”

The piercing cold that sent shivers down Jaemin’s spine combined with the darkness that churned in Johnny’s eyes was enough to make anyone run, which was all Jaemin wanted to do in the moment.

“At least I’m not a worthless, filthy, leeching, parasite,” he spat, curling his lip in a snarl before stalking away, blending into the night as smoothly as a shadow.

Jaemin sank to the ground.

 

 

 

 

“You’re so skinny,” Kun muttered disapprovingly, sounding much more like the brother Renjun remembered. They were both still very teary-eyed, Renjun still doing his best to force it back, but Kun still sniffled constantly and wiped at his face every few seconds. It was rough for both of them. Renjun gave a meaningless hum and finished rolling up his other sleeve to let Kun inspect his wounds.

Kun’s warm fingertips hesitantly spread over his soot powdered skin, smoothing over dried blood and closed wounds. He’d missed his brother’s calming, tender touch even though his hesitation and doubt was very apparent.

“Ah,” Kun hissed, spotting an angry burn with bulbous blisters swelling and some oozing. He shuffled somewhere behind Renjun and returned, stuffing something green into Renjun’s mouth, muffling of his question.

“Chew. Don’t swallow.”

Renjun chewed and a bitter, leaf flavor instantly gushed over his tongue. Whatever leaf Kun was having him chew was very tough and after a long minute, his jaw began to ache.

“What am I chewing?” He asked around the mashed up leaves in his mouth.

Kun was drawing out some twine and had begun to toast away the itching threads that poked out along the length. “It’s a type of leaf that’s good for burns and it mixes with your saliva to help create a healing product.”

“Oh.” _Obviously._

He chewed obediently and watched Kun measure the string around his arm. Draping the end of his selected segment over his pointer finger, he lit a flame and both watched the fibers smoke and blacken before they snapped apart. Renjun was surprised to see Kun still firebended.

“You still firebend?”

Kun paused his rummaging through a pile of cloth scraps in the corner of the hut to answer. “Not… not often, with all the trees around and I don’t need, um, to draw attention to myself like that.”

Renjun nodded, remembering how Kun had casually showed up at the Fire Nation raid like he’d done it many times before and how firebending would’ve been effective to fight other firebenders, it wouldn’t have been good for Kun.

“Okay, you can spit it out now.”

Renjun spat the mushy, slimy leaves into his palm and gingerly held the glob against the burn as Kun fastened a small shred of fabric over it with the string.

“Right, anything else?” Kun sniffed, turning to dab away the still collecting tears with a finger.

“Uh,” Renjun bit his lip, trying to think through the emotions still clouding his head and focus on his physical feelings. “I think one on my back.”

Kun was back at his side, uprooting the hem of his brother’s shirt and pinching to lift it over. But he stopped halfway and gasped loudly.

The shirt unrolled, folding over itself on the floor behind Renjun and brushed back over the skin of his back. The sensation tickled a dark corner of his mind and he inhaled sharply, hands flying back to hold down his shirt while he whipped around to see Kun’s reaction.

His brother’s hands were covering his mouth and fresh sorrow overflowed from his eyes down over his already streaked cheeks. “Oh my god,” his voice cracked in a hoarse whisper.

Renjun’s throat closed up and cold fingers of dread seized his insides. He bit back the tremble in his lip, momentarily forgetting how to speak.

“Please, um, forget you saw that, I can do it myself.” The words tumbled out of his mouth, catching on one another and falling into each other. But Kun didn’t seem to hear him at all.

“Oh my god… oh my god this is my fault,” he whispered to himself, crouching again and holding his head in his hands, gripping with white knuckles at his hair.

“Don’t say that,” Renjun tried desperately, “it had nothing to do with you.” _You weren’t even alive in my world when it happened._

“Renjun,” Kun murmured, tearful, reaching out again for his little brother’s shirt. “Let- let me see, please.”

He shook his head adamantly, biting back his own tears at the sound of Kun’s voice. He wanted to lean on his brother’s shoulder and cry. But he suddenly felt like he couldn’t. Like he didn’t have the right to cry, after all, he was a prince. Crying was for weaklings.

 _Is Kun weak to you?_  No, Kun was stronger than he could ever be, it felt like he’d earned some right to cry. _But this proves Father’s words, always saying how Kun was the weaker and the disappointment of you two, no?_

He shook his head again. He longed to cry in the comfort of Kun’s arms and feel a love he could trust. Comfort that he craved. Someone he knew he trusted entirely.

“Give me one good reason why and I won’t.”

Renjun dragged the back of his hand over his eyes and shook his head again, unable to find the words.

So Kun ignored him, ripping the hem from his fingers and lifting the shirt upwards and over his brother’s head. Renjun’s arms wouldn’t listen to his brain screaming at him to not let Kun see, to not put that guilt on his brother, and all he could do was let it happen.

The warm, slightly rough skin of Kun’s fingers and palm, that had not long before rested on his arms, barely brushed over the marred, scarred skin of Renjun’s back. He let out a shaky breath, feeling comforted already just by having someone know about and see the painful reminders of the many times he hadn’t measured up to his father’s standards.

Kun’s fingers shakily traced the fresh burns and bruises from the night before and then over the whitened dashes of cuts that had bled long into the night. Renjun could feel the light skim of his brother’s fingers over the permanently reddened skin from brutal burns, suffered both in training and in discipline.

“Oh no… Renjun…”

“I know it looks bad, but I’m okay,” he insisted quickly, crossing his arms over his exposed chest, getting chilly from the night air and warm from embarrassment. “Just… please… don’t…”

He didn’t get a verbal response from Kun but more leaves floated down into his lap. He chewed for a few minutes while Kun made the dressing across the small shack for the fresh burn yet Renjun never felt the heat of his brother’s gaze leave him.

“How long?” Was all Kun asked, voice cracking, while applying the mushy poultice and wide strip of fabric over the burn, wrapping the long ends under Renjun’s arms, around his chest and securing it in a knot on his back.

Renjun’s head dipped and his shoulders slumped. “Not long after you left…”

Kun exhaled quietly and slowly, like he was trying to keep himself from crumbling again. He sniffled before asking another question. “So… it was my fault, wasn’t it?”

“No, no, no,” he hurriedly defended, “you did none- none of this,” he said, gesturing a hand over his shoulder at his back.

“But I let it happen.”

“You thought I was dead.”

“But- but I still… god, I still feel responsible for letting you get hurt,” Kun pressed, shifting on his knees to sit at Renjun’s side and stare at his brother’s face.

“It’s not your fault…”

“But I- I’m your brother, I’m supposed to be there for you,” he argued, growing slowly more and more distressed.

“Kun, don’t blame yourself,” Renjun tried, “please don’t blame yourself. Look, they’re all healed, they don’t even hurt anymore.”

“I should’ve been there though, god I was so selfish, I should’ve stayed for you,” he cried quietly, unable to look at Renjun.

“Kun there was no way you could’ve spent any longer than you had in the palace, please understand that. You’re alive and happy now, that’s what matters,” voice watery and genuine. He needed Kun to know that he’d done nothing wrong in leaving.

His brother chewed harshly on his bottom lip, stealing fleeting glances at Renjun. “How- how often? How bad?”

Renjun sucked in a breath. He needed to be careful about how he worded his answer. “Not… not as often as I remember you… and I don’t think it was as bad as you…”

“Honesty, Renjun, I want complete honesty,” Kun demanded, voice sharp. “The dungeons? How long did you spend down there at a time? Did they ever- did they ever say things? Did fa- he ever hit you himself?”

He needed to take a minute to place the words properly. “Uh- no longer than one night-”

“What!? A full night?!”

“Kun, please…”

“Oh my god,” Kun sobbed, cheeks glazed with tears once again. His brother shuffled over, draping himself over Renjun and cried into his younger brother’s shoulder. “I’m so fucking sorry, Renjun. I’m so sorry they left you down there for whole nights…”

“It wasn’t your fault, Kun.” He leaned his head against Kun’s, grasping his brother in his own arms. “You could never hurt me.”

Kun’s tears subsided once again and he leaned back to look his brother in the face. “What about everything else?” He sniffled, wiping at his eyes with the collar of his shirt.

“I, um, sometimes they told me I was a spoiled, weak brat but that was the worst I can remember… and Father… he’s, um…”

“B-be honest with me, Renjun.”

“He’s slapped me at worse… but he’s asked the guards to do it - the punishments - on his behalf, always saying something about me not being worth his time…”

Kun kept himself together this time, nodding and reaching out to place his hand of Renjun’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there to protect you. Please forgive me, I’ll never leave you again for as long as I live, okay?”

His heart was going to explode. Relief. Adoration. Joy. Yearning. Love.

“Of course I forgive you, it wasn’t ever your fault. But please never leave me again,” he added meekly, letting his walls down entirely and opening his heart for the first time.

Kun’s embrace was everything he’d ever wanted since he’d been left an only child. The warmth in is stomach wasn’t derived from a smoldering rage or frustration or confusion, it was pure happiness and love. He promised himself as he sat against his brother’s body that he’d do his role, now that he was old enough and strong enough, to keep his brother safe too.

 

 

 

Thick trunks of muscle running up and down the man’s arm bulged against the front of his neck as the elbow hooked around his windpipe constricted.

“So stubborn...” the deep, gruff voice muttered, grip tightening. His face felt bloated and his tongue heavy in his mouth.

“Jesus,” he wheezed out, jaw clenching and eyes closing tightly. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fu-” he forced out, the muscular arm slowly crushing his windpipe and stopping the blood from flowing to his head.

“If you just tell us, no one will get hurt,” a less deep but equally gruff voice added. Rocks clashed against rocks, groaning as they were pulled up from the ground. Even in the dark he could almost seee the thick silhouette of a skull sized boulder hovering in front of his face.

The stone hands that had been locking his legs together shifted as the third figure’s long, black robes flipped in the darkness. His feet were clasped tighter together and he was lifted from the ground, losing the little leverage he had with his feet on the forest floor.          

But he didn’t yield. That wasn’t how he was taught. He took it, owning the idea that his body might never be found and his parents wouldn’t know the death their son had suffered.

But all of that was whisked from his slowly blackening mind when two blasts of fire were shot at him and his attackers.

Fuck.

 

 

 

“I’ll come back for you soon, alright? I’m not leaving, I just need to find Taeyeon and get a count for who’s sleeping where and where you can spend the night with your friends, okay?” Kun asked, rocking side to side with Renjun against his body still. They hadn’t moved for what had felt only like a couple of minutes but the significantly diminished noise outside suggested it was much later than Renjun thought it was. He was getting pretty sleepy too.

“Okay,” he accepted, “but come back soon.”

Kun grinned at him and tousled his hair in the best way. Kun stood, brushing off his hands and made his way out, reaching up to wipe at his eye one last time.

He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. What the fuck had just happened?

Kun had finally accepted his existence and in the same hour, he’d finally told someone about the scars that bothered him every time he took his shirt off. His chest felt lighter. And so did his heart.

But a lead weight still sat at bottom of his heart, unrelated to his brother or his history.

He sighed heavily. He should deal with it later. His limbs felt dense and his face was sore from being rubbed over constantly over the past hour or two.

He stood, scooping up the left over leaves that were beginning to wilt and began twirling them between his fingers as he slowly made his way over to get his shirt.

“Renjun, what the fuck?”

Jaemin’s voice made his fingers freeze and made his blood run cold, his hairs standing on end as he fully realized that his shirt was still lying an arm’s length away on the ground, not covering his body. He dropped to the ground in surprise but quickly refocused on the thing he needed most.

He inhaled sharply through his nose and lunged to the side, snatching up his shirt and wrestling it over his head, but not over his shoulders before Jaemin had barged into the room and was breathing over Renjun.

“Who the fuck did this to you?”

“Jaemin don’t-”

“Did Kun hurt you? Did your brother do this?” He demanded, hooking the shirt in his hand and lifting it up to keep Renjun from hiding under the baggy garment.

Renjun’s heart thundered. Jaemin was never supposed to get this close. Jaemin wasn’t ever supposed to earn his trust, nor was he ever supposed to come in intimate contact with Renjun. But he’d let that slide after he realized just how much having Jaemin there to hold his hand helped, however babyish and spineless that sounded.

But this. This was far too close for comfort. He needed to get out.

“Fuck, was it Yuta??” Jaemin plowed on, never touching, only staring. But the pressure and heat of his stare was almost as bad as if Jaemin had just slapped his hand on his bare back and dragged it down the scarred skin.

“Jaemin,” Renjun said as firmly and authoritatively he could manage. “It wasn’t them and it’s not your business!”

“Like hell it’s not my business!” He shot back angrily. Renjun felt the urge to shrink away at the bite and displeasure in Jaemin’s voice.

“How many times do I have to tell you this?” Jaemin asked with an even sharper bite, gripping Renjun’s shoulder and twisting him around to look into the pools of life that had a tendency to suck him in, never releasing his own or his racing heart. But they were sharper and darker than normal. Renjun couldn’t help the panic that rose in him as he tried to trace back everything that had just happened for any clue of what he’d done wrong to anger Jaemin this much.

“I care about you, Renjun. You matter so much to me and I want to be closer to you so I can see you smile more and hear your laugh, don’t you get it? How many times do I have to tell you that I really care about you? Can you tell me? Please?” His voice still gave way to underlying aggravation but the compassion and desperation now outshone everything else.

Renjun didn’t know what to say or how to say it. He needed to get something out though. He yanked the rest of his shirt over his body, messily shoving the hem back into the waistband of his pants and made to stand, but Jaemin’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“Renjun, just tell me. How many times to I have to say that I care about you for you to understand? Give me any number and I’ll do it double if that’s what it takes,” he commanded with a determination Renjun admired but couldn’t acknowledge.

How could he answer that? He already knew Jaemin cared about him, it’d been proven on multiple occasions. So why was he still at war with himself?

“It- I don’t…” Words didn’t form on his tongue how they normally did and in his head all of the clashing emotions and values left no room to even formulate a simple answer. “I’m sorry,” was all he could squeak out, pulling away from Jaemin to stand and reaching up to hold his aching head in his hands. The internal war of right and wrong, mind and heart, good and bad, love and hate raged to the point where he couldn’t distinguish how he truly felt about everything. He needed to get out.

Jaemin was getting too close.

“Renjun, don’t run from me!” Jaemin pleaded, tightening his fingers on Renjun’s shoulder. The desperation and worry that rang in the empty shack made Renjun’s heart freak out and a cold, sinking feeling drop through his stomach. “Just… tell me anything, please, say something. Who did that?”

“I’m sorry,” he squeaked again, pressing his palms harder against his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to drag you into my mess of a life. I- you should leave.”

“I’m not letting you go Renjun,” he said, spinning Renjun to place both hands on each of his shoulders and stare deep into Renjun’s darting, uneasy eyes.

Jaemin’s pure, open gaze and touch pulled him back in like a magnet. He felt himself leaning in towards the other boy but was pulled back by the part of him that feared what might happen if Jaemin got too close.

“Don’t you trust me?” He whispered, searching for something in Renjun’s face and eyes. Renjun wiped his face blank, refocusing his eyes on the wall behind Jaemin. He walled off his warring conscience, blocked it out, clearing his head completely. He focused on just exactly what he felt without distraction.

“I do,” he replied emotionlessly. He couldn’t seem to identify what he was feeling and it was frustrating. In his mind he knew he wanted to keep Jaemin close, but how close was too close? What if Jaemin got a glimpse of his past and didn’t want to get caught up in his hell of a life? What if when he and Kun left for home, they never saw each other again and it was all for nothing?

He couldn’t let that happen. Jaemin had started as a wary, jumpy stranger and far too quickly, he’d waltzed right into Renjun’s heart, capturing his attention with every word he spoke and every action he did. Renjun had seen a vulnerable side of Jaemin and had even earned the boy’s trust after no more than a week on the grounds of Renjun feeling “special” to him.

He couldn’t just leave Jaemin, because that might hurt him more than letting him in.

It hit him like a boulder catapulting down a hill at full speed. He couldn’t let Jaemin in because he already had. The power Jaemin held over him emotionally had been relinquished early on though the exact place and time was muddled. He wanted so badly to make Jaemin happy. But letting the boy in had so much potential to hurt them both. He thought he was doing it for Jaemin but maybe it was an underlying reason for himself.

There was something more. There had to be. He fell back deeper into his mind in a desperate attempt to solve the riddle that twisted his brain in ways he’d never needed to do before.

Then he found it. Just a small, glimmering, ash white flame flickering gently beneath layers upon layers of much simpler emotions and thoughts.

He recoiled. That hadn’t been the answer he wanted. Not at all. He’d been trying to do everything he could to avoid that, but it seemed that he’d still failed. What would Kun say? What would father say? What would the nation say?

“R-renjun?”

Oh god, this was bad. He needed to leave. He needed help. He needed Kun.

But a gentle hand glided under his chin and topped it upwards, forcing him to look into Jaemin’s eyes. There was nowhere to run.

He took a deep breath and allowed his eyes to magnetize back to Jaemin’s and for his body to lean slightly into the boy’s hands resting on his shoulders. He removed his hands from his head and let his wall down, finding there to only be true emotions standing victorious over the values he’d once held so dear and near to his heart. Now the old family values meant nothing because he’d been able to decode the weird fluttery and happy feeling he got from the boy.

His feelings for Jaemin were unique to Jaemin. He had no way of compring them against anyone else because he’d never met anyone else who could make him feel the way Jaemin felt. He wouldn’t call it the ‘L’ word, that was too scary of a thought for him. But that was the best word he could dig up to describe his attachment and fondness for the boy.

His mind hated the idea in every aspect. But his heart was all for it.

And still, he cared too much about Jaemin to let him in.

“Are you just saying that?” Jaemin asked, eyes darting over every feature on Renjun’s face but always returned back to his eyes. “To get me off your back, so you can be alone and run away from this again?”

Renjun bit his lip, which caught Jaemin’s attention in an instant, and shook his head. When he’d said it, he definitely hadn’t entirely meant it. But now he really did.

“No,” he confessed. “I- I trust you, but I-” he choked on the last word he’d tried to say. Fuck. “I care about you too much,” he finished, twisting his head away only for Jaemin to pull him right back with those eyes of his and his familiar touch.

“So tell me what’s going through your head and stop running,” he pleaded again. The fingers under his chin slid up over the side of his face and he forced himself to to flinch away. He forced himself not to run from the touch. “Because I care about you too, Renjun. I just want you to be happy.”

“I- I am, I am happy but,” he tried but his words expanded in his throat, cutting off air and keeping him from voicing his thoughts.

It was silent.

“We can’t- we can’t do whatever this is you’re trying,” he said instead, looking away and bracing for retaliation.

A pause.

“How do we know if we don’t try?”

Renjun’s heart skipped a beat. Fuck. He hadn’t actually thought Jaemin was serious about… about whatever it was he was attempting to initiate. Fuck. He hadn’t thought the feelings went both ways. Fuck.

He could hear the saliva get pushed down his throat when he swallowed to respond. “I can’t do that to you.”

Jaemin’s face flickered. “Stop saying that. I _want_  to be closer to you, I _want_  you to tell me all of the secrets locked away in your heart and I _want_  to be with you.”

“Y-you- you know nothing.” His voice had dropped to a whisper.

“Then tell me so I can learn.”

Fuck.

“Renjun, I’d catch to the moon for you, I’d move mountains and burry volcanoes for you.”

The walls began to split and crumble once again. He was too exhausted. And still he dared to peak up into those captivating eyes that sucked him in, drawing the deepest, most unprecedented feelings from his core. From his heart and from his soul.

“I’d do anything for you.”

In the next instant, he was paralyzed. The space between their faces had vanished and Jaemin had pressed his lips against Renjun’s, locking them in a kiss.

A kiss. Jaemin was kissing him on the lips. 

He made no move while his brain tried to reboot and realign with his body and neither did Jaemin, simply applying a light, soft pressure against Renjun’s lips and holding his place.

Renjun’s hands flew up between them and pushed, hard, against Jaemin’s shoulders. The force sent both boys stumbling away from each other, Jaemin’s face unreadable.

His barriers collapsed completely, in his mind and in his heart.

Jaemin was back up in his face, reaching out to Renjun like he knew what the firebender would do next. But instead of running, Renjun floated over to Jaemin on knocking knees, fighting to keep his composure.

He reached out to Jaemin and caught a flicker of light in the boy’s eyes. It hurt too much so he stared at Jaemin’s nose instead, forcing himself to keep it together for just another minute.

And like it was second nature he took the shot in the dark and leaned forward, reconnecting them in a kiss.

But he pulled away the next instant, stepping far enough back so that Jaemin couldn’t drag him back into his arms. So that he could put more distance between them and deter the warmth fluttering in his tummy and glowing flame in his head from growing into something that would hurt himself everyone around him.

His voice was no louder than a breath but it sounded deafening in the confines of the small room, even with the fair distance restored between them.

“Then you’ll let me go and live a life where you can be happy.”

He turned and sprinted, throwing aside the cloth in the doorway and completely blocking out everything around him. He let his feet carry him over the rickety bridges, around the platforms hugging the many trees, as if running yet again would leave the thoughts and feelings raging with full force once again in his head. The dancing children had become invisible and silent to him, the swaying of the bridges in the wind no longer a concern.

He ran, yet again from his overloaded emotions. 

He told himself he was doing the right thing. 

But he couldn’t see where he was going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [character aesthetics](https://twitter.com/jumping_jxx/status/1081326989691310080?s=20) (is that what these are?)  
>    
> I MADE A [CURIOUS CAT](https://curiouscat.me/jumping_jxx) so you can talk or comment there! i swear i’m a nice guy :)  
>    
> Character's Songs:  
> 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 - Demi Lovato  
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 - Mumford and Sons (ignore the religious meanings or whatever)  
> 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 - Bebe Rexha and Martin Garrix  
> 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐞 - Katy Perry  
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐔𝐩 - Jason Mraz  
> 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You have to save him. But you won’t be alone. Don’t be afraid, Jaemin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made this x-tra juicy  
> ((not thoroughly proofread))
> 
> (((no one has said anything about jaemin and [redacted] from [redacted] so look forward to that in this chapter)))

“Johnny? Are you in here?” Kun asked, emerging through the doorway of their shared unit. He caught sight through the dark of his friend lounging in the corner, body relaxed but eyes locked on the opposite wall.

The infirmary had been empty by the time he’d returned about ten minutes later and he’d assumed Renjun had found a place with either Yuta or Jaemin, so he decided to retire to his own home. Well, his home that he shared with Johnny.

“Yeah.” The response had sounded like it had been forced through gritted teeth and the minute twitch in Johnny’s eye gave away his irritation.

Kun dropped down next to him with a sigh, wiping at his eyes again for good measure and faking a yawn. “Rough day?”

“Something like that,” Johnny admitted, tearing his eyes from the wall and turning to look at Kun. “You seem pretty tired,” he commented, shifting and resting against Kun’s shoulder, lowering himself slowly and cautiously.

Kun forced himself to relax as the weight of Johnny’s whole head settled against him. He slouched against the wall, trying to accommodate his much taller friend’s height and hummed. “It was exhausting to say the least,” he decided. “But… but I’m doing better.”

Silence settled over the dark room and all they could hear were the distant voices of the night creatures and their breathing. Johnny broke the silence, voice slow and tentative.

“Is… is Renjun your brother? Actually?”

He forced his muscles to stay relaxed and for the lump in his throat to melt away. “Yes,” he breathed quietly, “yes he is.”

“So… you’ve accepted that he’s alive and well? You’re doing better with that?”

He laughed breathily and took a minute to think. “Yeah, I, um, I know he’s not a vision anymore. He’s real this time,” he said, unable to contain the huge smile that brightened his face.

Johnny chucked. “I’m glad to hear that, I got worried about you for a while.”

“Mmm, right, sorry about that…” He trailed off, thinking back to how his world had imploded in on him a split second at the sight of his brother in the village, and then back to how he’d still continued to try and push the notion of Renjun from his mind. It was so much to wrap his head around.

“What about you and Jaemin though, what happened there?” He asked, changing the subject. Johnny’s jaw shifted against his shoulder as it clenched.

“He’s the one who killed my father.”

“Oh...” His tone shifted to something more surprised then. “I wouldn’t have pegged him as a killer, not gonna lie,” he said, conjuring an image of Jaemin in his mind. The kid had looked so sweet and had spoken so politely to Mrs. Cho and Mr. Cho, he couldn’t help but wonder what events had hurt him enough to turn him.

“Well, neither did I. But people always find ways to surprise you. I’ll be honest, I would’ve never have guessed that you were a Fire Nation prince from when I first met you all those years ago.”

Kun laughed, thrown back to when he’d first encountered Johnny. They’d been young and Kun was still mourning his brother, unwilling to talk with Johnny about anything. But Johnny had extended his hand and shown him around the forest he’d been lost in. They worked together to build a small shack for Kun to stay in and for Johnny to visit everyday after school. The rest was blurred together in laughter, crying, talking, walking, and climbing higher and higher each day to a better life that they could share eventually.

Eventually, assuming Kun ever got over the fear crouched in the shadows of his swimming thoughts, lashing out with tooth and claw whenever Johnny tried to get closer.

“And I wouldn’t have guessed you to make such a fine organizer and leader for our new family.”

It was Johnny’s turn to laugh. “It’s you and Taeyeon who do everything,” he countered shyly.

“But you’re the one who pulled us all together, you gave all of them hope and the responsibility to give others like them hope. I’d say that’s quite a lot of ‘everything’ that we do.”

“Mmm,” was the only response Johnny had offered.

They lapsed into silence, enjoying each other's presence and the company of their own thoughts.

But Johnny spoke again. And Kun didn’t like the direction things were headed in.

“You never answered my question, about letting me be your boyfriend.”

He laughed nervously, despite it being almost the worst type of situation to laugh in. “I don’t remember you asking again.”

“I’ll ask again then, can I be your boyfriend?”

Kun hated when Johnny did this. He hated having to turn him down time and time again, always causing them to drift apart for days at a time following Kun’s rejection of the other.

A minute passed while Kun tried to phrase his response correctly, as if it were a graded language test. “I think you already know the answer…”

Every other time Johnny would nod tersely and bow his head, excusing himself from the scene to take a walk or spend some time alone. But now he stayed at Kun’s side, pulling off of the other.

“Why?”

Kun blinked. That was one he didn’t hear too often following Johnny’s question. “Because… I don’t think you should trust me with your emotions. I can barely handle my own.”

“Well I’m not asking you to help me with my emotions in that way,” Johnny pointed out gently, “I’m asking you if I can be _your_  boyfriend. I’m asking you if I can be the one you trust with your emotions, I want to be there for you.”

Kun’s heart seized up in his chest.

“I don’t know if I can do that. There’s a lot going on right now, Johnny.”

“Then let me help you through it.”

He couldn’t help the quiet chuckle that escaped his throat. “Ever the stereotypical earthbender, huh?”

“Kun, let me help you then. Use me as a shoulder to cry on, talk to me like you always do, just… if what you said you wanted to happen between us is going to work out you know you have to-”

“I know, Johnny, I know,” he interjected. “But now... now's not a good time…”

“There won’t ever be a good time for us, Kun, that’s just how the world was built for outcasts like you and me. You fled the Fire Nation because you were never good enough in your father’s eyes. I had to run because my life depended on it. Don’t you see? Things won't ever be in our favor.”

He couldn’t see why Johnny was suddenly so adamant about the thing between them. It hadn’t been a topic of conversation for many weeks and Kun had simply left it in the dusty drawers of his mind, locked away with the memories that were strung to it.

“Why do you care so much now? You… you were fine with us just being like- like this, what’s the big deal?” He whispered, evading Johnny’s point.

The earthbender huffed loudly. “I don’t want you leaving me to go off with Renjun.”

Direct. And surprising coming from Johnny, man of steely emotions only ever softened to comfort Kun. He had to blink multiple times to get it through his head. Johnny sounded insecure.

“Why would I go off with Renjun?”

Johnny’s entire body jerked with a shrug. “I dunno, maybe… maybe you think he needs you more than I do. Maybe he wants to travel through more of the Kingdom with you.”

“Johnny…” He wanted to say something to comfort the older. But he didn’t want to lead him on. “I-I think I need some time.”

Johnny didn’t object, only gave a short, quiet hum. Kun left as quickly as he could.

He was barely over the bridge when a person smashed into him, making the bridge rock dangerously back and forth, high in the air. The boards groaned under their combined weight but when Kun was finally able to wrap his hands around the wriggling, panicking person, his heart jumped.

“Renjun? What are you doing out here this late?”

His brother didn’t look at him, trying to pull out of Kun’s hold. Trails of tears glinted briefly but Renjun turned his head away from Kun, never ceasing his efforts to push away the older.

“Hey, hey,” he whispered, breath steadying to calm his own nerves, just like he’d done those many years ago because letting Renjun see him worried again would only make the younger worse. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine,” he lashed out, voice cracking. “Just let me be.”

Kun’s mind was thrown back to mere hours ago when it had been him rejecting his brother’s help. The old, protective instincts were slowly drawn from a deep slumber in the dusty corners of his mind and he did as Renjun had done for him, squeezing his arms tightly around the smaller boy.

Renjun almost immediately slumped against Kun’s body, wiping his face against his shoulder and swallowing back hiccups. Kun hushed him, tenderly rubbing circles against Renjun’s back and swaying slightly from side to side, creaking the bridge quietly.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he murmured, never letting his hand or gentle swaying pause as he continued to coax answers from Renjun’s quivering lips.

“J-Jaemin-” he hiccuped, gasping for air around a strangled sob, “he d-doesn’t understand. He- he- he can’t ever u-understand.”

Kun’s mind buzzed, pulling and piecing together everything he’d observed about Jaemin over the past day, carefully trying to dissect and analyze their possible predicament given Renjun’s vague description.

“What won’t he understand?” He pressed, struggling to grasp the situation but still trying his best for his brother. Renjun needed him now, and he was going to be there for him no matter how trivial the issue might be.

Renjun’s hand clasped over his mouth and his shoulders shook. “H-he won’t u-understand me and my life,” he sniffled quietly, voice saturated with frustration and grief.

“He-he shouldn’t b-because he’ll get hurt,” he hiccuped loudly.

The final pieces slipped into place, clicking in Kun’s mind. He understood exactly what Renjun was going through. But as much as he wanted to know more about what exactly his younger brother was getting up to, the weight in Renjun’s body against his chest told him the younger needed sleep more than anything.

“Why don’t we go find you a place for the night,” he said slowly, squeezing Renjun tightly, “and you can get some rest to help calm you mind,” he continued, slowly turning them on the bridge with a soft groan from the wood, “and we can address this in the morning. Does that sound like a plan, little guy?”

His sobs subsided to sniffled and he jerkily nodded his head against Kun’s chest, straightening up. “Don’t call me little,” he huffed, a hint of a smile lifting the corner of his lips.

Kun couldn’t help the soft chuckle at Renjun’s comment, only further feeding he younger’s playful irritation. “Alright, big guy, you’re the boss.”

Kun escorted his younger brother to the empty hut that had been assigned to both him and Jaemin, though it was untouched when they stepped in. Both beds were still as Kun had prepared them and no sign of Jaemin having ever making it to the hut was present. But Kun couldn’t worry about that. He needed to be there for his brother.

Renjun plunked down onto the sorry excuse of a bed and burrowed under the thin blanket, eyes falling shut with ease.

Kun stood to leave, intending to use the time to do as he’d originally intended when he’d left Johnny, but a soft murmur from Renjun made his stop, half standing and half crouching.

“Please don’t leave, Kun.”

It took nothing more than that to get Kun to join Renjun at his side and slip under the blanket laid out for Jaemin.

With round, fond eyes, he traced over Renjun’s peaceful face, re-ingraining his features into his memory. He decided without a problem that he liked this Renjun better than the other ones that had been merely figments of his imagination.

“I’m never leaving you again, Renjun. I will always be by your side, no matter what.”

 

 

 

 

That voice. It was back again. And it was calling out to him, but not from within him this time.

He shifted against the tree trunk, curling his toes into the dirt and tried to ignore it.

But it persisted, calling him. Not his name, just him. His spirit.

He got fed up quickly, snapping his eyes open and hauling himself to his feet to look around. There was nowhere as far as he could see or feel. The night was going to break into dawn soon so there shouldn’t have been anyone out anyways.

But it persisted.

With a quiet grumble, he set off, following the sensation. The voice grew louder with each step, like it was tugging him on an invisible string, always in the same direction back to the hideouts in the treetops.

It didn’t stop when he reached the wide base of a tree and it didn’t grow louder no matter which way he stepped around it.

He peered up into the leaves, feeling a compulsion to go upwards.

He planted his feet and used his arms to force the earth beneath him to raise up in a tall column, bringing him closer to the voice that crescendoed with each passing second. 

At the hand built platform, he stepped off, allowing the column to crash back down into the ground. The voice continued to pull him, tugging him in the direction of one of the main, large shacks. 

When he poked his head in, there was no sound or any sign of someone else, so he pushed through the covering in the doorway, feeling his feet cary him to the far corner where a bundle sat against the wall. 

The voice was nearly shouting by the time he squatted next to the bundle and when he reached out to it, it didn’t feel like it was himself who was in his body. More like he was watching through someone else's eyes in their mind.

The knot at the top came untiled with a light yank and the cloth fell away, revealing his and Renjun’s things, including the bow and quiver of arrows Yuta had given them.

When did those get there?

But his hand was attracted to his own bag and he flipped it open, darting in and feeling around. His fingers brushed a smooth object and instantly closed around it, pulling it from the bag. The voice quieted but became much clearer, though actual words still eluded him.

He blinked. It was the wooden carving he’d stolen from Johnny’s home in his escape.

The lady was a bit beat up and scratched from his travels but she looked... different from the last time he’d seen her. It must’ve been the darkness and the shadows playing with his vision. 

The voice had diminished, barely audible at that point, but when he shrugged everything off as an effect of lack of sleep and went to shove the lady back into the bag, he caught clean-cut, unmistakable words that boomed around him.

“You have to save him. But you won’t be alone. Don’t be afraid, Jaemin.”

 

 

 

 

He could feel the brightness against his eyelids without even opening his eyes and the warm air of morning puffing over his face. With a sleepy groan he peeled his eyes open and forced himself to sit up to take in his surroundings.

At least he remembered how he’d been lead into the shack by Kun, but anything else was kind of a blur. He could recall crying and gingerly touched his eyes, feeling his sore skin ache at the touch.

After another minute, he could fully remember crashing into Kun on the bridge and swinging dangerously in the air after he’d run away from Jaemin.

Jaemin. He felt his throat going dry and his eyes stinging just at the thought of the other boy.

“You’re up.”

He lifted his head and spotted Kun entering through the doorway, carrying a woven basket in his hands and a savory scent wafting through the air. He placed the basket in front of Renjun, pulling away the cloth laid over the top with a flourish.

“Ta-daa!” He presented it with a huge smile, eyes sparkling almost as bright as they used to.

Renjun squinted in the basket and a smile crept over his face, soon matching Kun’s wide grin.

He plunged his hand in and pulled out a bone heavily weighted with roasted meat covered in spices. He dug in like a wild animal, happily munching each bit of meat and bread Kun had cooked up for him.

“I thought you’d be hungry,” he said, reaching out and affectionately brushing his fingers through Renjun’s hair. Renjun mumbled something around the hot food in his mouth, too busy to come up with anything to say. It had only been since the last night that he’d eaten but it had felt like forever ago.

When he’d cleaned every bone and gobbled down every crumb of bread, he reached out, opening his arms for Kun with a hopeful smile. A second of hesitation passed before Kun leaned into his arms, accepting Renjun’s hug with a gentle laugh.

“Can you tell me more about what happened last night with you?” Kun asked carefully, trying to delicately broach the subject.

Renjun sat back against the wall and tried to gather himself. It was a question he was still asking himself, to be truthful.

“He… he saw my- um, my scars and he got upset. I don’t even know why, but he got upset and I tried,” he paused, taking a slow deep breath before continuing, “I tried to tell him that it wasn’t a big deal and that he should just mind his business but then he kept saying how he cared about me and, I don’t know, it just got out of hand from there…” he sighed, voice reduced to a whisper by the end. He wanted to tell Kun but trying to understand things himself made it hard to explain to someone else. Although he purposely left out how they’d kissed. Twice.

Dear God, he wanted to punch himself. He felt like an idiot for letting himself kiss Jaemin.

_But do you regret it?_

“And you don’t want him to get too close?” Kun asked.

Renjun nodded. “I’m scared,” he whispered, gaze dropping to his hand in his lap. “What if he’s just saying things. What if he doesn’t want someone like me. What if he doesn’t really like me?” The words gushed from his mind, relieving some of the anxieties he’d carried with him since the first time Jaemin had told him those things.

Kun nodded slowly from next to Renjun, chest rising with a deep breath. “I can’t answer those for you, but I understand how you feel.”

Renjun quirked an eyebrow. “Care to share?”

Kun chuckled softly, looking away from Renjun and rubbing the back of his neck. “Well… Johnny and I, we… we had thing of sorts between us for a while…” he mumbled, face reddening with every word.

Renjun’s eyes widened and his smile grew with amusement. “Johnny? Really? Damn, Kun,” he cackled. His brother only covered his face with his hands and groaned, his blush reaching even to the tips of his ears.

“Shut uppp,” he whined, refusing to show his face. “What happened to sweet, baby Renjun?” He whimpered again, peeking out between his fingers to glare at Renun.

“I grew up,” he stated soullessly. “But seriously, Johnny? I mean, what a hunk, like damn-”

“Renjun!” Kun shouted, reaching out and swatting at Renjun’s shoulder. “Don’t talk about him like that! And watch your mouth!” He scolded, repeatedly swatting lightly at his brother’s shoulder, fighting back a grin.

“Didn’t know you had a thing for earthbenders, huh,” Renjun managed through a fit of laughter at Kun’s embarrassment. But he regretted his words the minute he saw the smirk that crept over his brother’s lips.

“Like you’re one to talk, I’m sure you’d know all about that with _Jaemin,_ ” he shot back, eyes shining triumphantly. Renjun’s mouth fell open.

“Kunnn!” He whined, like a baby. “I don’t have a thing for him!”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, baby,” he hummed mockingly, not even trying to hide his wide grin.

“I’m serious! I don’t!” Renjun insisted, bouncing with a big, fat pout resting on his lips.

“It’s an awfully big deal you’re making for someone you say you don’t like,” Kun reasoned in a lofty, sing-song voice.

That made Renjun shut his mouth, still pouting though his eyes never stopped smiling.

They sat together, content with simply each other’s presence, until Renjun finally asked a question that had only recently resurfaced.

“Hey, Kun?”

“Yes?”

“Why didn’t you want father to know I was a firebender?”

The mood was extinguished like a candle flame. The straight line across his brother’s shoulders and how his jaw twitched weren’t good signs from the start and he should’ve known not to press the subject.

Kun’s voice came out rigid and tight, very unlike his normal voice. “I’d thought I could save you like Mother had asked me to.”

He inhaled sharply at the mention of their mother.

“I remember very clearly her whispering into you ear that she never wanted what was happening to me to happen to you,” he recollected, never looking anywhere else but the far wall. “It was already to late for me, father had forced me into accelerated schooling and bending training even though I’d never wanted to use my bending to fight. But I’d thought I could carry out mother’s wishes and spare you from the exhausting work and pain from training and studying when she died.”

“Did she know about what father had the guards do to you?” He asked quietly.

Kun shook his head, nothing more than a slight flick from side to side. “It started after she died. Father blamed me at first, so I grew up since blaming myself for something I could never understand. But... I think he had some kind of realization that I couldn’t have had anything to do with it, though he still hated me.”

“Why… why did he always hate you so much?”

“That’s an easy one,” Kun snorted, “I just look too much like Mother used to.”

Silence settled over them again, Renjun’s mind spinning.

“And he didn’t hate me because I don’t look like Mother?” He whispered, mostly to himself. But Kun still answered.

“No. He didn’t hate you because I made sure it was always me in the wrong, never you. I did everything I could to keep you as innocent as he saw you.”

Kun had been there for him before he’d been aware, he realized, and something in his chest swelled. Kun had protected him from the start at the cost of his own happiness.

And he’d betrayed him, leaving his kind, spirited brother alone to die in the dungeons that day.

And now he was here.

 _Oh no. Oh_ fuck _no._

Guilt crashed over him, filling his lungs and tightening in heavy coils in his stomach.

Renjun bit his tongue but the words came tumbling out anyway. “You haven’t asked why I’m here, in the Earth Kingdom,” he blurted out.

Kun sat frozen, breathing undetectable. A minute later he turned his head slowly, eyes drifting over to lock with Renjun’s. “I assumed that you also escaped from Father. Right?”

His gut clenched and the blood drained from his face.

He couldn’t do it. Not here, not now, not ever. Not after Kun had done so much for him and been through so much already.

But his father’s voice still echoed in his head from the day he’d been assigned to bring Kun home.

// _"Father, I never knew he was still alive h-how can I find him? How can you expect me to be able to bring him back?”_

 _“Because Renjun, I have faith in you. I believe that you won’t disappoint me as he did. I know that you can.”_ //

He wanted to vomit. Kun had existed, hidden in the shadows of the forest’s trees for six whole years and he’d built everything anyone could ever want. He had a home, he had close friends to call family. But most importantly, he didn’t have his father lurking around every trunk and in every corner of every shack.

Kun was free here.

Would he still be free back at the palace? Did their father intend to step down from the throne early and give Kun power over the nation?

“Renjun...?”

His heart pounded in his ears.

His mouth was dry and the words that left his lips painfully dragged up his throat and scratched over his tongue, but he couldn't stop them.

“Father sent me to bring you back home. That’s why I’m here.”

He looked away the second the words fell from his mouth, not wanting to see the look on Kun’s face. His heart split just at the thought of the pure sadness, confusion, heartbreak and anger in his brother’s eyes. 

Kun was on his feet in a second, swiftly exiting the hut without another word.

“No, wait, I need you!” His brother’s name got caught in his throat, his outstretched hand left reaching for his brother who was long gone. He could feel his heart breaking all over again.

_He’d said he’d never leave me again..._

 

 

 

 

He slowly came to, mind scattered and muscles aching. Was he dead? Was this heaven?

Peeling his eyelids open a crack he was quickly able to deduce that he was, in fact, not in heaven. He was still in the forest, but the sun had risen and was streaming through the leaves high above.

The second most prominent thing he noticed was how body hurt so badly from head to toe. His leg muscles were stiff, his stomach burned from the strain of breathing and his arms felt like tofu. The pain that spun his head and cartwheeled carelessly through every bone in his body made him wish he’d actually died or stayed passed out.

After another minute, he was able to gain enough control over his screaming arms to shakily force himself from his stomach onto his hands and knees, spitting dirt from his mouth onto the ground next to him. But a heavy foot landed on his back, flattening him back against the ground.

“Fuck,” he gasped, struggling to pull air down his throat and into his burning lungs.

“Stay down,” the deep, now somewhat familiar, voice growled, applying more against his back.

His ears came back online and sounds other than his own heartbeat and breathing drifted through the air. What was going on?

“Take it or leave it, skunk,” a new, unfamiliar voice snapped from farther away. “He’s clearly Fire Nation, which makes him ours.”

“Then you need to do a better job of keeping track of your soldiers, kid,” the other familiar voice from the night snapped back, just as far away. “Listen, we took you all on for the last eight hours, we can do it all day with no problem. But finders keepers, man.”

“That’s enough! Just hand him over now and we’ll pay you whatever your price is!”

The deep voice from directly above him howled loudly with laughter. “What? Do we look like bounty hunters to you, kid? You’re extremely mistaken, we’re so much more than those dirt sniffing worms,” he hollered, earning laughter from his friends farther up.

“What he said,” the other voice began again. “We’re loyal to our leader, you can’t do anything to change that.”

It was quiet for a minute and he strained his ears, struggling to pick up on any sign that someone was about to crush his head with a boulder. He couldn’t pick up on exactly what was going on, only that he was probably the “him” and was about to get caught up in a fight.

“Then we’ll continue to use any force necessary, if he has the location on the Fire Nation princes, he is rightfully ours to take first.”

Well, if he could, he would definitely argue that he was his own person and belonged to no one.

“Try us.”

“Wait!” The voice shouted from above him. He could feel everyone around him turning to stare in his direction.

A large hand wrapped around the back of his neck, clasping tightly and digging into pressure points.

“Ah, fuck!” He cried, head snapping back at the pressure and eyes slamming shut. “Fuck, Jesus- fuck!”

He was dragged up to his knees by the hand on his neck and his own hands flew up, clawing at his attacker’s strong fingers. “F-fuck, stop!”

“Yuta?” His name rang through the space between them, voice only tickling a memory in the shadows of his mind, but it was enough for him to know exactly who else was present.

“Is that his name? Yuta?” The rumbling voice from above him asked, grip like steel and not yielding one bit to his desperate efforts.

“I- I think…”

“Ahhh! Fuck, let me go!” He cried when the hand on his neck only squeezed tighter. To his surprise, the grip loosened and he head slumped forward, chin hitting his chest as he tried to recollect his mind and catch his breath.

Rough, solid earth fingers of stone clamped around his wrists a second later though, magnetizing and forcing his hands behind his back.

He glared from behind his long, disheveled bangs but could feel his mask breaking at the sight of four soldiers carrying spears dressed in the uniform of the Fire Nation army.

He strained against the hands, mind whirling of possible outcomes if they were to get to him. He couldn’t go back. They’d burn him to death slowly if he was lucky, or force him into slavery and torture him in one of the remote, unaccessible Fire Nation prisons back near the mainland.

He wasn’t about to let that happen.

He stood swiftly, barely dodging the fist that came his way and ducked away from the person who’d stepped on him, scrambling to put distance between them all.

Shouting increased and he turned in time to see a fireball launched straight at him. Letting his training take over, he ducked smoothly, jumping high and pulling his knees to his chest, swinging his locked wrists under his legs and landing, hands available for defense.

Two sharpened torpedo shaped rocks sliced through the air towards him, forcing him behind a tree.

He tried to run, there was no way he was about to take on all seven of them at once, but the stone cuffs around his wrists gravitated back to the ground, pulling him down.

“Nice try, kid,” the deep voiced man said, hands extended with minimal effort to keep him pinned down. “But you’re not going anywhere until you tell us the location of the princes.”

“I already told you,” he panted, forcing his voice lower to hide his growing panic, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Everyone else made their way to him, standing over him threateningly and staring like he was fresh meat. His bones trembled but he forced a glare and a snarl.

“If,” one of the soldiers began, stepping in front of the black clad shadow warriors, “you tell them where the princes are, we won’t turn you back in to the army.”

His stomach dropped. He wouldn’t expose Renjun, he wasn’t taught like that.

“No,” he snapped. “Go fuck yourself.”

“Sharp tongue,” one of the shadow warriors remarked, still treating him like some kind of animal to be captured and killed.

“Small brain,” he shot back.

The shadow warrior raised a brow, stepping forward to stand over him directly. He reached a hand into Yuta’s hair, knotting his fingers in the dirty strands, and yanked his head up, forcing them face to face.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” He hissed, eyes closed and teeth gritted. But his protest was completely ignored.

“Don’t go insulting the people who hold your life in their hands,” he warned, low and terrifying.

Dread seeped through his cold blood and his stomach churned. He wasn’t sure if he’d live to see the next sunrise.

 

 

 

 

He just sat. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think about anything other than how badly he’d fucked up.

But the sound of footsteps stirred him from his half-dead state and he lifted his teary-eyed gaze to catch a shadow sliding over the small window next to the door.

A head poked in and many mixed emotions flooded through him.

“O-oh, R-renjun,” Jaemin stuttered, eyes wide with surprise. Renjun said nothing.

Jaemin looked over him and worry flashed over his face. “Are you okay?”

Renjun said nothing. Physically, he was fine. Emotionally however…

Jaemin darted inside and knelt next to the boy, taking hold of his shoulders and thoroughly looking over him. “Are you hurt? Did something happen?”

 _Well something sure happened with_ us _last night..._

“Renjun, stop shutting me out,” Jaemin huffed, sitting back to try and catch the firebender’s eye.

“I’m not.”

“Bullshit.”

Renjun glared at him. “Sure, I’m shutting you out,” he snapped, “but you can’t seem to see that I’m trying to do it so you don’t get hurt. Stop making this harder than it is!”

Jaemin flinched back like he’d been burned. His face was blank but his eyes still held hurt and traces of tears. “I just needed to make sure you were all right,” he murmured.

“I’m fine! Happy now?” He shouted, tears building and chest aching. He needed to leave.

He was on his feet just as fast as Kun had been when he’d left and he ran out, leaving Jaemin alone once again.

 

 

 

 

“Johnny…” Kun murmured, stepping into the shack he shared with the other. A visit to Taeyeon and he’d been tasked for some time with watching over the younger kids and making sure they all ate which had been a good distraction from the thousands of things racing through his mind.

But he’d finished and the swarming thoughts were pressing against his skull, threatening to break his head open. He needed someone to talk to, and that person had always been Johnny. But the even from last night hadn’t been forgotten and he was very hesitant about confiding in the older.

“Yeah?” Johnny’s deep voice answered from inside. Kun lifted his head and tracked Johnny’s feet to his head, gaze connecting.

“I, um, I wanted to talk about last night,” he muttered, looking away again.

“Sure,” Johnny agreed slowly, voice level and flat. “What did you want to talk about?”

He filled his lungs slowly and held his breath, then let his chest flatten out again with a slow exhale. “Did you really mean it? When you’d said you wanted to be there for me?”

“Yes, I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.”

Relief. “I need you right now…” he whispered.

In two long strides, Johnny had crossed the floor and enveloped Kun in his long arms, hugging the firebender close to his chest. “I’m here for you.”

Kun hugged back instantly, burying himself as far as possible into Johnny. “It’s Renjun,” he said into Johnny’s shoulder, letting the sting behind his eyes grow to full force and salty drops to trickle down his face again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D i hope you enjoyed this hehehehe
> 
> [character aesthetics](https://twitter.com/jumping_jxx/status/1081326989691310080?s=20) (is that what these are?)  
>    
> [curious cat ><](https://curiouscat.me/jumping_jxx)  
>    
> Character's Songs:  
> 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 - Demi Lovato  
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 - Mumford and Sons (ignore the religious meanings or whatever)  
> 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 - Bebe Rexha and Martin Garrix  
> 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐞 - Katy Perry  
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐔𝐩 - Jason Mraz  
> 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not proofread in the slightest lol sorry ><

He was in no mood to deal with Renjun. Frankly, he was sick of constantly getting his hopes up only for them to get incinerated at the touch of Renjun’s unforgiving finger. The kid’s shoulders physically slumped with all of the weight and worry he carried, Jaemin had just been trying to help.

Actually, he hadn’t been fully conscious of why he’d thought it to be a good idea to check in on Renjun and had to wrack his brain for a good while before the thought bubbled up from the depths of his mind.

Ah, yes, the ominous calling from the wooden doll that had woken him in the middle of the night. It had warned him that “him” needed to be helped. Or saved. He couldn’t remember and in the broad daylight, it felt more like it had just been a vivid dream.

Still, he’d felt compelled enough to check on the boy and offer his help should the “him” be Renjun. Like, who else could it be?

But Renjun, from the start, wasn’t the type to accept help easily. He’d been so wary of Jaemin, never starting conversation and never bothering to keep it burning, even when Jaemin tried his hardest just to break the ice.

Jaemin should’ve known better. Johnny had been wrong. Renjun cared more about Kun than he cared about Jaemin.

He stalked over the unstable bridge, hopping onto the largest, main platform nestled in the branches. He hadn’t known where he was going to go after that whole thing with the firebender but he’d just wanted to get away.

A flash of a familiar shape and feeling whisked by his eyes and through his mind, making his head turn off to the side. He spotted it immediately, the shack from before. From his dream.

He approached on light feet, careful not to draw too much attention or suspicion to himself, and slipped inside, mostly undetected.

The things were right where they’d been in his dream. The far corner, propped up against the wall. Except the bundle lay opened, as if his dream had actually carried into real life.

He squinted and approached it cautiously, slowly squatting down to examine it’s contents. Same as from his dream.

So maybe it hadn’t been a dream? Or he’d been so exhausted from fighting with Renjun, the battle, reconnecting with Johnny and still not knowing entirely who Kun was and what his role was.

He dug to get to the wooden carving of the lady and looked over her again, straining his ears to hear the voices again. It had been odd, though only now did he realize it, but her voice hadn’t sounded like her voice. It had sounded like much more than that. It was too confusing to put into words, or even partially process for that matter, so he ditched the idea.

He stood with her gently gripped in his fingers and continued to admire the details on her robes and her long, flowing hair, as if it had been an exact replica of what she’d looked like in the instant a light breeze rustled through her hair and clothes.

Heavy footsteps startled him and not a second after looking up, he knew exactly who was approaching the hut.

Forcing his shoulders to relax and his blood not to boil, he gently whisked the carving behind his back and glared up at Johnny.

“I’m not here to step on you,” Johnny grumbled. “I need to ask you something about Renjun.”

 

 

 

 

He hadn’t moved from his spot. He’d barely registered his own heart thrumming in his chest and the way his body seemed to ache with stiffness.

But the patter of footsteps just outside jolted him into a conscious state. In a scramble, he righted himself, rubbed the sleep from his eyes and leveled his eyes to meet whoever greeted him.

The head that poked through was revealed to be the exact person responsible for letting him fall into such a braindead state. Granted, it couldn’t have been more than a couple hours, but he still felt like complete shit.

“Renjun,” Kun murmured very hesitantly, stepping halfway through the door. “Can we talk? Elsewhere? Just, there are a lot of prying eyes and… um, yeah…”

He focused his eyes fully on this hands folded in his lap. He needed to approach just as cautiously as Kun was. He couldn’t risk scaring him away again. “Of course.”

The walk out was stiff, robotic almost, and awkward.

Kun drew in a slow breath and stepped up onto the main platform, turning to face Renjun briefly. “I just… need to know the full story. Okay? Then… you can go back and tell him I never want to see his face again, okay?”

Renjun swallowed. That might give Kun his freedom, but that would a a living hell for Renjun.

The terror festered into his bones with the full realization of what he’d face if he turned up without Kun and his gait became jerky and very rigid.

_But Kun has done so much for you, what are you, some ungrateful brat? Too scared to take little punishment for him?_

He stuffed the thought as deep into the back of his mind as possible. That would have to be dealt with when the time came…

He swallowed back his fear. “Yeah, no, sure…”

Kun nodded sharply and turned, waving his hand flimsily for Renjun to follow and continued on his way.

The tremble in his fingers and booming of his heart was uncontrollable.

 

 

 

 

“What about Renjun?”

Johnny rolled his shoulders and rubbed the back of his neck, lips twitching with uncertainty. “You know Kun’s his brother, right?”

He nodded warily. “Sure…”

His eyes narrowed at Jaemin, shards of steel. “He wants to take Kun with him back to the Fire Nation. Did you know about this?”

He shook his head immediately, brows knitting together. “That… he never told me that…”

“Right…” Johnny took a step forward, crossing his arms over his chest. “Kun’s upset now, Renjun’s upset, I’m upset, how are you holding up?”

The younger arched a brow. “What’s it to you?”

“This structure isn’t used for anything but storage, I’m sure you’ve noticed that now, so you’re either lost or looking for something,” Johnny pointed out. “I can help you with whatever.”

Uncharacteristic of Johnny. Johnny who hated his guts and nearly killed him on sight just a day ago. He grew suspicious.

“What kind of game do you think you’re playing?” He bit back. “I’m not trying to lose my head here, just trying to set things right with the only person who matters to me. So if you could kindly leave, that’d be great.” He clutched the wooden carving tighter. The voice came back.

No words. Just a compulsion.

He shouldn’t be provoking Johnny, not again.

He didn’t want to provoke Johnny. He’d never wanted trouble with Johnny.

The calling was strong and too prominent to brush aside.

He had to do something, the voices had made that much clear, but he had no idea what.

He would need Johnny’s trust for something later, that was all he gathered from the squeeze in his chest and the tingles in the back of his mind.

Johnny didn’t seem bothered by his response, though Johnny rarely showed his emotions outwardly. “Jaemin, I know you don’t like me, I’ve given you no reason to. But, just so you know, I… I don’t care about what happened those years ago. I just…”

“I forgive you too,” he responded, the feeling driven by his heart completely. “I’m sorry I… did it… it didn’t feel like I had any other choice…I don’t know what’s going on with you or with anyone else here, but I’m not here to interrupt it. I won’t take that from you.”

He felt unbound. Free.

Johnny attempted a small smile, appearing more as a cringe, though Jaemin appreciated the effort. “I just… I’m assuming you’d want Renjun to stick around too, right? If you as him to stay and not take Kun… he’d listen better, right?”

He found it sweet how Johnny seemed willing to do whatever he could to get Kun to stay without physically forcing the boy into a prison cell and holding him there forever. Jaemin respected that.

He slowly turned the carving over in his hand. “I actually, um, think this belongs to you,” he said, finally bringing the doll out from behind his back.

It was a silent peace offering, Jaemin returning what he could to Johnny for Johnny to either accept as an apology or reject.

Johnny tilted his head to the side as he squinted at it. “Oh. I didn’t know you took this,” he chuckled, accepting it from Jaemin’s outstretched hand. He turned it over in his hands multiple times, running his fingers over the rises and falls of the woman’s robes.

“A prominent figure, I think is what my father always called her,” Johnny muttered. “Can’t remember how she was prominent though,” he mused.

Jaemin didn’t respond.

“Well, uh, thanks, I guess,” Johnny said, looking back up at the younger. “That was about all I had that I needed to see you about, so… I guess I’ll go now?”

Awkward. Nice.

“What do you know about Renjun that I don’t?” Jaemin inquired before he could stop himself. It was a little underhanded, admittedly, but he felt protective of the other. Ever since the night before he’d been thinking particularly hard about the other.

The older earthbender shook his head and shrugged. “I can’t tell his story for him, but I can tell you he’s on a walk right now with Kun if you wanna chase them down before they get too far.”

Maybe Renjun would tell him if Kun was by his side? Maybe??

“Okay,” he said, making to leave, “but… could you… come with me? I still don’t know my way around well,” he asked, looking up into Johnny’s eyes. They were different from how he’d always seen them. His gaze was much softer, shining with a compassion he hadn’t known Johnny was capable of.

“Sure,” he agreed, leading the way out with long, confident strides.

 

“How long have you been looking for me?”

Dried twigs and lush leaves were squashed beneath Renjun’s feet as he followed after Kun, doing is best to keep pace. They were out in an area with trees more scattered rather than clustered, which must’ve had to do with their gigantic heights and sprawling branches that hid the sky.

“Little over a week maybe.”

He could hear Kun’s hollow sigh carry through the still air and he hung his head even more.

“How’d you pick up Jaemin?”

“Needed help finding my way around.”

“Why did he send you?”

Renjun gulped. “To bring you back….” he replied with obvious uncertainty.

“No,” Kun snapped, “I want to know exactly what he told you and why he’s only now looking for me again.”

He wanted to disappear into the ground. Kun had never been this type of mad at him, ever. “I-I don’t know, he-he just said that- that it was my final mission and…” he cut himself off, remembering his father’s words.

 _He ran away after_ you _broke him._

“And?”

“Forget it.”

Kun stopped abruptly, whipping around to face Renjun. His eyes were cold and steeley and his face was clouded with a darkness.

Silence stretched between them. Renjun shifted uncomfortably but held Kun’s gaze in his own, equally cold and unyielding.

“It’s weird because it almost feels like I never left,” Kun pondered, eyes dropping to the ground between them, “and yet I can’t seem to feel you the way I used to.”

Renjun frowned slightly. “What do you mean?”

Kun’s response was hesitant and unsure. “I mean… I don’t feel like I know you anymore. I can’t explain it,” he brushed off, continuing on.

Renjun sighed, following without another word on the topic. But something else stirred in the back of his mind.

 

 

 

 

“So,” Johnny said loudly, sliding down the side of the tall, stone column he’d bended up to aid his descent to the ground. He landed with a whump and grinned at Jaemin who was waiting for him. “How long have you known Renjun for?”

Jaemin gave a vague wave of his arms and waited for Johnny to take the lead. “A week maybe?”

“And you’re already head over heels,” Johnny grinned, chucking to himself.

The younger gave an indignant huff and followed after, thinking of a clever retort. “Well, you and Kun seem to have a thing going, huh?”

There was a noticeable tensing in Johnny’s shoulders at Jaemin’s words. “Something like that.”

“What does that even mean?”

“He doesn’t want to be together that way. He turned me down again right before he left with Renjun,” Johnny stated hollowly.

“Oh, I’m sorry…”

“Not your fault,” Johnny replied, trying to shrug it off. “I thought we could try to be more this time but he backed out again. Something about me never being able to understand….”

He felt that. “Renjun tells me that too,” he sighed. “It’s always, ‘jaemin, you could never understand!’ when I’m still willing to try, you know?”

Johnny hummed, nodding slowly. “I tell Kun the same thing. It’s weird how they’re the firebenders and yet their ambition and passion seems less than a couple of earthbenders,” he mused, glancing over at the younger.

Jaemin thought about it. “Maybe that’s just because we’re stubborn,” he shrugged, unable to find a valid answer.

“Maybe,” Johnny agreed.

 

Through the whistle of the wind through the leaves, there was the soft gurgle of rushing water.

“There’s a stream somewhere up here, we can talk there,” Kun said without sparing a glance over his shoulder.

“R-right…” Renjun nodded, truding after. The earth slowly became grassier and softer with the sounds of water getting closer.

Then they heard voices. The voices were faint and Kun seemed bothered so Renjun tried to brush it off. Probably some of the kids running around through the trees, right?

But then they heard a loud, bloodcurdling scream of fear.

Words babbled after but Renjun couldn’t hear them. His eyes were locked on Kun who’d taken off in a sprint towards the voice.

 

 

 

 

Jaemin and Johnny froze in their tracks. The scream diminished and they stood in silence, waiting for any other sounds of danger.

The younger let his eyes close and he pressed his feet into the ground, tuning his senses to the earth itself. He reached as far as he could, using the earth as an amplifier. Vibrations poured through the rocks and dirt, traveling into his mind and creating a map of his surroundings, seeing past what the eye could see.

He counted through the people but got the same incorrect number over and over. There should be two others in the area. He counted at least six.

Adrenaline pumped into his blood and his heart quickened. His muscles tensed, ready for action, and he looked back up at Johnny who’d been studying him.

His voice was firm and urgent when he spoke and he tried not to let the slight wobble show too much. “Johnny, Kun and Renjun are in trouble, we need to run, now.”

 

 

 

 

Renjun sprinted after Kun, ignoring how his heart jumped into his throat at the sounds of screaming. Then he came into earshot of the voices.

“Fucking crush my hands, crush my skull, rip my soul out!” The voice screeched. “But I’m never going to tell you!”

Cold, strong claws of dread seized his stomach and squeezed his heart. That sounded too much like Yuta for it to be anyone else. He pushed harder, running faster.

He didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t know what was happening and he had no idea for how to handle it. But he knew that Yuta needed help.

He came into sight of three, black figures crouched at the bottom of a slope that lead to the coursing river, water gushing louder than ever. Yuta was on the ground, face streaked with blood and mud but eyes gleaming with a fierce determination.

“Crush his skull, we’ll find them ourselves,” a feminine voice ordered, one of the three black figures turning and stepping away.

One of them eagerly pinned Yuta down, moving his body so his head hovered just above the running waters where his blood would tint the water crimson, leaving no evidence of the crime.

But the other hesitated. “We’re getting the information, to killing,” the deep voice said. “Beat it out of him if you have to, but he’s not dying.”

The other two looked at the tallest. “Ever the vibe killer,” the feminine voice sulked. “Too soft for your own good.”

Renjun crept down the bank. He couldn’t see where Kun had gone.

Yuta let out a loud laugh, though it sounded like a strained and broken gasp. “Fucking cowards can’t even kill me,” he spat. In a swift motion, he surged up, knocking the shadow figured off of him and standing quickly, back foot splashing down into the water, hands raised defensively.

Renjun prepared to rush in, maybe strike from behind and knock them down, but a fifth figure joined the fight, flying into the tallest and knocking him to the ground.

“Don’t mess with him,” Kun yelled, stepping off and backing up to stand by Yuta’s side. “It’s two on three now, don’t make the wrong choice,” he warned.

The two people didn’t answer and struck with rocks drawn from the ground, hurling a strong barrage at the two without warning.

Kun stepped in front of Yuta, blocking all that he could with his body and hands, focused only on helping the other.

“K-Kun,” Yuta wheezed, “you need to get out of here, just go, don’t worry about me,” he urged, trying to push Kun back. “Please, just go keep Renjun safe,” he whispered.

Renjun couldn’t move.

The attacks were relentless, kicks and punches were thrown from a distance yet they did more damage than they might’ve up close. Renjun wanted to help. But how could he?

Kun shook his head, saying something that couldn’t be heard over the flying and crashing rocks.

But Yuta back up, further into the shallow stream and squatted down into the water, covering his head with his blood and mud splattered arms. In a round, flowing and powerful motion, Kun threw his hands out to his sides, twirling them through the air around himself before striking with a swift punch.

Flames flew from his fist and disrupted the shower of rocks, paralyzing his opponents with surprise as he swept his arm through the air, throwing a large wave of fire as a second line of defence and scrambled after Yuta, trying to escape up the other side of the river bank.

But Renjun heard the clanking of metal on metal too late. His chest tightened and all he could do was sit from behind the tree and watch as Fire Nation troops began swarming down towards Kun and Yuta.

The pure horror and panic on Kun’s face made Renjun want to go back in time and never have said anything to put them in this situation. The division that had attacked the village must’ve stuck around because there was no way they would’ve been able to hear the sounds of the battle had they been on the move for the past two days.

“It’s Prince Kun!” One shouted loudly. The three attackers from earlier seemed perplexed and flustered that they hadn’t noticed that and rushed to attack, closing in on the two firebenders.

Renjun sprung up then, flying into the air and twisting expertly, lashing out with his foot to blast a long, steady stream of fire directly at the three people dressed in black. His fire just barely missed them and he landed heavily just at the water’s edge.

He stretched his neck upwards in time to see a huge, black net fired and descending on his brother.

“No!” He cried, reaching uselessly for his brother who fell under the weight of the heavy ropes, Yuta just barely escaping the range. Something warm and slick slowly dripped down his cheeks but he didn’t try to wipe it away, lashing out furiously at the three retreting attackers.

He landed a strong flame ball on one of their shoulders, knocking the person to the ground, but they sank into the ground the next minute and were gone just like that.

Kun had set the net on fire, crawling with his stomach flat against the dirt to try and escape out through the side. But the weights holding it down caused him a great struggle and soldiers poured down on top of him in the next second.

He screamed loudly as they roughly pinned him down through the net, kicking and blindly throwing blasts of fire into the air.

“Let him go!” Renjun screamed, sprinting through the stream and attacking one of the soldiers with a powerful kick. The soldier’s knees buckled under him and he slumped to the ground. Renjun went to tackle another but a soldier caught his arm from the side, his eyes widening.

“P-Prince Renjun!” The soldier gasped, letting go of him immediately and dropping to his knee, courteously genuflecting to the Prince. “P-Please forgive me, your honor!”

His jaw clenched, stomach flopping uncomfortably at being so suddenly shoved back into the reality that was his life. He gave a curt nod and turned, looking for Kun.

But before he could plunge headfirst back into the mess, the ground beneath his feet pulled him backwards like a landslide, except he was the only person moving. He scrambled to maintain his balance and twisted around to look over his shoulder, finding Jaemin slowly pulling him back down into the stream.

“Prince Renjun, are you okay?” One of the soldiers called, abandoning the efforts to capture Kun and rushed over to check on Renjun.

“I’m fine,” he snapped, dismissively waving the man off and turning to wade back through the water and glare at Jaemin. “Are you trying to get yourself killed? Because I’m trying to save my brother so back off,” he shouted, turning but not making it farther than a step because Jaemin’s hand reached out, holding fast.

“Prince Renjun??” Jaemin blurted loudly.

His heart stopped and the blood drained from his face. Fuck he’d completely forgotten to tell Jaemin. His heart jumped back to life at a much faster pace than before, nervousness building.

Fuck what should he do?

“Forget that, just let me go!” He grumbled, pulling away. He slipped out of Jaemin’s grip, stumbling forward with the momentum and looked back up, only for his heart to stop again completely.

Kun was curled in on himself, eyes squeezed shut as he was dragged up the other side of the bank in the heavy net by the soldiers, something wet and shiny glistening on his cheeks.

“Kun!” Renjun shrieked, frantically splashing through the water to chase after them. His foot caught on a stone and he fell into the cold water, clothes soaking quickly and weighing him down. He stared over the edge of the other bank, mind and heart broken.

Kun had been taken from him again.

Jaemin was at his side in the next second, helping him stand and trying to calm the boy down.

“Renjun- Renjun look at me- you can’t go after him! They’ll take you too,” he tried, not letting Renjun break away again. “Please, just breathe and calm down! Johnny’s following them to see where they go, Kun’s not lost, we’ll get him back.”

“You don’t understand,” he shouted, falling back to his knees and splashing down in the water. “They’ll kill him! They’ll bring him back to the palace where he’ll die for real in the dungeons!” He cried, losing his grip on everything. Kun had been his everything. The reason why he’d felt hope for the first time in a long time. And now that had been taken again.

“Why’d they take him?” He cried, letting Jaemin hault him to his feet. He fell into the earthbender, too blinded by his tears and too upset to think as Jaemin lead him carefully out of the stream and back through the forest.

 

 

 

 

Sadness. Anger. Betrayal. Hopelessness. Fear.

 

 

 

 

When Renjun woke the sun was setting, beaming through the trees and tinting everything gold. His knees were bruised and his head throbbed slightly but it didn’t compare to the painful emptiness in his heart.

“Renjun, can we talk?”

Last time someone had asked him to talk they got carried away by the Fire Nation. He should’ve just yelled at the troops to let Kun go, maybe shoot a few more fireballs than he did and maybe Kun would still be by his side.

He should’ve tried harder. But everything had gone by too fast, like a sharp jab that knocks your tooth out but you don’t really feel the pain until a few minutes after.

Jaemin sat down anyway. “You’re the Prince of the Fire Nation?”

“One of the Princes,” he corrected absentmindedly, not bothering to roll over or sit up from the bed he’d laid in just before Kun had lead him out. And gotten taken away.

“Why the _fuck_ didn’t you tell me this?” His voice was a controlled kind of anger, the scariest kind. When you know someone’s about to break your neck but they just smile and nod like nothing’s about to happen.

Renjun couldn’t find it in him to care. Maybe he could run and still catch up to them if he was lucky. The airships they used were big and easy to spot, if he could just get a direction that they were headed in…

“Safety reasons,” he answered as truthfully as he could.

“But _why?”_ Jaemin pressed, frustrated and confused.

“If I just went around telling everyone, here in the Earth Kingdom, which is not the Fire Nation, that I am the Prince of the Fire Nation, do you think they’d welcome me with open arms or try to catch and sell me to the Earth King to be used as leverage against my father?” He deadpanned, still not bothering to roll over. How had he been planning on getting home after he’d gotten Kun anyway?

A loud sigh left Jaemin’s lips. “I get that’s not something you lead with but you could’ve at least told me, like, after we bonded or whatever?” He shouted.

“There was never a good time,” Renjun defended himself. “I didn’t think about telling you until that morning at Mrs. Cho’s but then some assholes threatened to kill me and then I met Yuta and then the fight happened!”

“How do I know you didn’t plan the raid on the village?” Jaemin shot at him challengingly.

“I didn’t know about it!” He shot back. “If you don’t remember, was so panicked we almost just left?!”

Jaemin stood suddenly and began pacing around the room. “Fucking hell, I have a crush on the fucking Prince of the Fire Nation,” he breathed, hands shoved into his hair while restlessly pacing back and forth.

Renjun rolled over and sat up then. “Just let it go, at least now you know why nothing would work between us,” he argued.

“It’s not that it wouldn’t work because you’re literally royalty, it’s because it doesn’t seem like you trust me!” Jaemin lashed out. “This worked the exact opposite of how I’d thought it would go!”

“Fine then, I’ll finish this on my own,” Renjun yelled, standing up and storming out.

“No, Renjun, wait!”

He ignored Jaemin, having finally settled on how he’d get back home to the mainland. He didn’t know what he’d do past that, but in the moment all he cared about was seeing Kun again and begging for forgiveness. He shouldn’t have said anything. Kun should’ve been able to stay in his treehouse with Johnny and live in bliss.

Footsteps followed him across the bridge.

“Renjun, come back, I’m sorry!” Jaemin called. “I still want to help you though!”

“We had a deal, your help for my trust,” Renjun yelled without looking over his shoulder.

“Renjun, just let me go with you, I still care about you!” His steps drew nearer and soon he was right on Renjun’s heels. “Please, just let me help you, I just want to see you happy again.”

Renjun sped up, stepping onto the main platform. “Well that shouldn’t be your concern, go live your life as you please, don’t let someone as broken as me ruin that for you.” His throat tightened at the words. This was when Jaemin sighed, relieved that he didn’t actually have to help this pathetic child who couldn’t even keep his own brother safe.

Jaemin took a deep breath. “My life will lose it’s light, it’s fire, without you though.”

 

 

 

 

He’d never wanted to see him again. Now, that was exactly where he was headed and he was terrified.

 

 

 

 

 

They stepped out of the trees, side by side and looked over the vast expanse of prairie just outside of the forest.

Yuta raised his head, looking over at Renjun. “How did you say you were gonna do this?”

It had taken a lot of convincing on Jaemin’s part to get Renjun to agree to bringing Yuta, who’d begged to go along as soon as he’d heard Renjun was going after Kun, and Johnny, who’d been in a trance ever since Kun had been taken away. But now they’d banned together, fully aware of the potential consequences, and were gearing up for the ride of their lives.

“Step back,” he ordered calmly. He wiped his mind completely, although reluctant to lose the fuzzy feeling that tickled him at the echo of Jaemin’s words, and closed his eyes. He’d only performed the technique twice before and the first time it hadn’t even worked from a much shorter distance. So he was nervous to say the least.

The sounds of his friends’ feet stepping over the ground receded and he breathed deeply, channeling his energy.

The sun was setting but he still drew as much power as he possibly could, fully aware that his own bending wasn’t nearly as strong enough for what he needed to do.

He brought his hands up from his sides, clasping them together and exhaled slowly. With a fluid and strong movement, he snapped his arms out to his sides, letting flames burst from his palms and carefully raised his left foot to his right knee.

He repeated the steps that he’d practiced time and time again from muscle memory, stepping precisely and keeping his form perfect, punches strong and fire blazing.

As the sequence finished, he struck the last pose and then spun lightly on his toes. In a quick motion, he threw his head back and let his lips part, fire spitting high into the sky. The added momentum and energy from the dance itself and the heat from the sun mixed with his own power, enhancing and amplifying the blaze that continued to climb higher into the sky.

He forced his lungs to deflate completely, watching with slightly watery eyes as the colorful fire blasted upwards, lighting the slowly darkening sky. Only when his head throbbed and his lungs burned did he cease, cutting off the fire and sucking in a deep breath.

His friends were all bombarding him with words that never registered as he was too focused on the sky still. He rested his hands on his knees, craning his neck up to search for the answer to his call.

It came just a moment later, relief flooding his chest. He breathed properly again, righting himself and turning to his friends with a small but satisfied smile.

“Just wait a few minutes now,” he told them, taking a seat right in the spot where he stood.

“Renjun, that was so incredible,” Yuta gushed. “I’ve never seen fire like that before!”

“You’ve definitely got some skill,” Johnny agreed, eyes still glowing with amazement.

“Brighter than the sun itself,” Jaemin laughed, sitting by Renjun’s side.

But the energy died again and their reality settled back over them.

 

 

 

 

How long had it been? A few hours? Days? How long had he been lying in a pool of his own sweat and tears for? How much longer would he have to cry freely until he was put face to face with him again?

 

 

 

 

“There,” Renjun gasped quietly, relieved. In the night sky it was hard to detect and even harder to detect with the great distance between them, but he’d seen it.

He stood, his friends following quickly, and they all looked up to try and follow his gaze.  
It was only a minute longer until a loud, screeching roar rolled through the space between them and made Renjun grin.

“Just stay here for a moment,” he ordered.

The dragon descended slowly, red scales shimmering even in the absence of the sun, and twisted gracefully. It landed just a little ways away, head turned to watch as Renjun approached.

He reached out carefully with one hand, lowering himself to kneel on one knee and bowed his head, keeping his eyes on the ground. Claws scraped against rock as the dragon dragged itself over towards Renjun, nose poking out curiously.

It’s hot breath billowed over Renjun’s crouched form and smooth scales pressed themselves against Renjun’s hand. He lifted his eyes and smiled at the dragon, gently stroking it’s nose.

“Hey there Zu, long time no see,” he murmured quietly. “My friends and I need a ride, are you up for that?”

He never knew if the dragon actually understood him, he only assumed that he could so when Zu gave a small tilt of his head, he took it as an “okay.”

“Okay guys, no sudden movements and be careful,” he called to his friends.

He mounted the dragon, seating himself along it’s neck, not too close to it’s head but not too far by it’s huge wings.

“Just climb on right behind me,” he instructed as his friends cautiously approached. Jaemin was shoved forward first and elevated on a jut of earth by Johnny, but his face was uneasy. Renjun’s mind flipped back to when Jaemin had confessed his hatred of all scaly creatures and he wanted to laugh.

“He doesn’t bite,” Renjun assured, reaching his hand out for Jaemin to take. Jaemin held on tightly, slowly lowering himself to sit at Renjun’s back. Yuta and then Johnny climbed on, the firebender a giddy mess.

“This is really cool,” he breathed, cautiously running his hand over the vibrant red scaled.

“Right, now hold on to tightly, he likes to fly fast,” Renjun warned, pressing himself closer to Zu’s body and latching his arms as far around the neck as he could manage while gripping with his legs.

Jaemin’s arms looped around his stomach and the weight of a head settled against his back. “Sorry,” Jaemin mumbled quietly.

He wasn’t used to being held how Jaemin was holding him. But he didn’t dislike it very much. It was endearing and comforting and warmed him.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said back. “Zu, fly!”

With a mighty roar, Zu took to the sky, leaping up and beating his wings hard to ascend into the clouds, gliding through the air as he took them to the Fire Nation.

 

 

 

 

Yuta felt horrible. Kun was gone and it was his fault. He should’ve helped Kun escape. Now, after begging Renjun to take him on the mission - family forgotten, duty forgotten and only clinging to what he believed was the way to set things right - he was ready to lay down his life for Kun. Funny how he’d deserted the Fire Nation army only to find himself ready to die for the prince of the nation.

 

 

 

 

Johnny just wanted to know Kun was safe. He knew how Kun’s moods got really bad every so often when the topic of his past in the castle and having to leave Renjun were brought up and it pained him terribly to think of how Kun might feel being taken away like a criminal. Kun wasn’t ready for a relationship, but Johnny wasn’t about to give up. He would not give up, no matter how rough things got, he would never give up on Kun.

 

 

 

 

Jaemin wasn’t ready for his time with Renjun to end how Renjun had wanted it to, but as the wind whipped through his hair and the steady beat of the dragon’s wings stabilized his raging thoughts, he was ready to die if Renjun was going to be by his side.

 

 

 

 

Renjun just wanted the people he loved to stay safe. He’d failed Kun and feeling Jaemin’s warmth seeping into his body, he couldn’t help the doubt that lurked in the back of his mind. He might’ve just brought Jaemin on a trip that he’d never return from.

 

 

 

 

They touched down close to midnight, judging by the moon’s position in the sky. Zu hadn’t taken them straight to the royal palace, they would’ve lost the element of surprise then, and were in a field just outside of a town that was close to the royal palace.

“Fly home, Zu, thank you for all of your help,” Renjun whispered, pressing his forehead against the side of the dragon’s head. Zu gave a snort and launched himself back into the air, disappearing into the night.

Renjun took a deep breath. He’d formulated a basic plan during the flight over but he was very unsure with how it would actually play out.

“Okay, listen carefully,” Renjun said, beckoning them all closer to him. His heart pounded in his chest and his drowsiness was washed away completely, fully prepared to do whatever it would take. That’s what Kun would do for him, afterall. “I’ll say this once and only once and if it doesn’t work, run as far and as fast as you can. Take shelter in a cave or forest or wherever, just don’t let yourselves get caught. Okay?”

Three voices echoed. “Okay.”

“So here’s how it’s gonna go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [character aesthetics](https://twitter.com/jumping_jxx/status/1081326989691310080?s=20) (is that what these are?)  
>    
> [curious cat ><](https://curiouscat.me/jumping_jxx)  
>    
> Character's Songs:  
> 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 - Demi Lovato  
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 - Mumford and Sons (ignore the religious meanings or whatever)  
> 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 - Bebe Rexha and Martin Garrix  
> 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐞 - Katy Perry  
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐔𝐩 - Jason Mraz  
> ((you’ve already met two new characters lol but i’ll put one of their songs here even though you won’t seem him again for a while lol))  
> 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 - Christina Peri


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I told you this was only gonna hurt  
> If I warned you that the fire's gonna burn  
> Would you fall in the name of love?
> 
> //
> 
> I won't just survive  
> Oh, you will see me thrive  
> Can't write my story  
> I’m beyond the archetype
> 
> //
> 
> I don't wanna fall out  
> But we're all out of time  
> Don't want an ending...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***heavy angst warning ahead yay***

It took everything in him to not tremble as he put one foot in front of the other mechanically, the worn soles of his shoes tapping and echoing deafeningly in the silent corridor. There was a thick, suffocating, tense uneasiness that clogged his rational thought and made natural actions difficult. Walking properly had never taken so much of his concentration.

He’d fucked up. He’d fucked up so badly and now he was going to pay an awfully painful price.

Jaemin beside him couldn’t hide his emotions as well as Renjun had been trained to and visibly trembled with each step, darting eyes clouded with fear and worry.

The guards grunted gruffly, shoving the boys towards the huge double doors that Renjun recognized immediately. A pit dug deeply into his stomach and he felt bile rising in the back of his throat. He hated those doors.

He hated the entire palace and everything within.

“The Fire Lord will see you two in a minute, stay put,” they growled, chaining the two boys together at the wrist and then to the pillar a little ways away from the door. The guards turned and retreated down the hall, steel-toed boots fading with their figures.

Jaemin spoke but his voice was meek and small, barely recognizable. “R-Renjun, I’m sorry I fucked up,” he whispered, sounding utterly defeated. “I’m sorry you’ll have to bear the brunt of what’s coming for us.”

Renjun frowned and shifted in the cuffs, reaching a hand up to gently rest on Jaemin’s sagging shoulders, rubbing loving circles into his bony frame. “It wasn’t your fault,” he murmured, “we got unlucky.”

 

 

_"Fuck, Kun’s not here,” Jaemin hissed, sprinting down past the rows and rows of prison cells._

_Renjun’s heart seized up in his chest and sweat dribbled down his neck. “Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, this is bad,” he breathed, beginning to panic._

_“Do you think we missed him?” Jaemin whispered, approaching Renjun silently, confusion pressed in the furrow between his brows._

_The firebender shook his head, a terrifying thought dawning on him. “N-no,” he croaked, “w-we’re in the wrong prison.”_

_The earthbender’s eyes widened and his confusion doubled. “The fuck do you mean? You have multiple prisons??” Jaemin hissed._

_Renjun gulped and forced his head to nod. “I- Kun’s no ordinary prisoner, they- they must’ve taken him to the dungeons beneath the palace,” he whispered, voice trembling._

_Loud clangs and clanks of metal against metal echoed down the hall, making both boys freeze in fear._

_“Hey! Who’s down here!” Guards hollered._

_They ran only to find their exit blocked._

_Renjun shook so badly that it had taken the guards multiple tries to fit the cuffs around his wrists before proceeding to lead the boys up to the throne room where they’d face their sentence._

 

 

 

 

_Yuta paced anxiously, muttering under his breath while Johnny kept careful watch from the shadows of a bush._

_“Fuck, they should be out by now,” the firebender groaned, raking his hands through his hair._

_“Patience, maybe they got held up,” Johnny murmured. But something was off, he could feel it in his gut. Renjun had promised they’d only be fifteen minutes or less and it had just passed the twenty minute mark. As if to confirm his suspicions, torchlight washed over their hiding spot in the courtyard._

_Johnny shielded his eyes, too shocked to move while Yuta frantically tried to pull him to his feet._

_“Fuck, we gotta run! We gotta go now!” He hissed, finally hauling Johnny to his feet and beginning to bolt for their exit._

_“Hey, stop right there!” A guard hollered, shooting a fireball in Johnny’s direction._

_Johnny stood but he was obviously lost in his mind, completely frozen by the thought that he wouldn’t be able to save Kun if they left._

_Yuta leapt in front of him, sloppily blocking the attack and grabbed Johnny by the wrist, pulling desperately again._

_“Fucking move, we gotta run!” He shouted, the sounds of guards growing progressively closer._

_They ran. They ran as fast as they could._

_But it wasn’t fast enough._

 

 

 

 

 

 

Renjun rubbed his wrists nervously as the shackles fell to the ground with a loud clatter and sucked in a deep breath. He looked so far from presentable with his clothes dirtied and hair unkempt and dark bags under his eyes from working all night into the early hours of the morning and then waiting out until the morning, that he worried his father would burn him alive on the spot for showing up in such a disgraceful condition.

With great effort, he forced himself to stop shaking and turned to Jaemin, waiting for the earthbener to follow. But instead of letting Jaemin go, the guards seized his skinny arms.

“He’s waiting for you, Prince Renjun, and only you.”

Renjun’s mouth dried up and he struggled to swallow. He wanted to go back in time, back to when he’d been happy in the Earth Kingdom and felt the most free in his life.

The guards didn’t look willing in the slightest bit to compromise so he glanced at Jaemin once more before turning to the doors. A tiny grin flashed over Jaemin’s lips before Renjun was hastily directed towards the menacing doors.

He breathed and pushed open the doors with trembling hands. He stepped inside, hearing the clang as he was sealed within the throne room.

The atmosphere rolled over him and he quickly became overwhelmed with the familiarity of the room and memories attached. Before he could think, an apology began to fall from his lips as he stepped further into the throneroom, finding the Fire Lord in his usual place. “Father, I-”

“You’ve forgotten your manners, son,” his father growled, eyes closed as he meditated, true expression shielded by a curtain of his flames.

Renjun immediately snapped his mouth shut and fell into a kowtow, touching his forehead to the floor. He mentally hit himself in his head, praying it didn’t come back to stab him in the back.

The heat in the room rose. There was an odd numbness to being back in the room after having been gone for such a while.

His father inhaled and the flames swelled. “I expected better from you, Renjun. But in the end, I suppose you succeeded in your mission,” he murmured, shifting in his seat.

Renjun pressed his lips into a thin line. Not even a greeting from his own, heartless father.

His father continued. “I have much I wish to talk to you about, though I shall do so over dinner. Bring your friend with you to the banquet tonight and dress… more appropriately,” he stated pointedly.

He didn’t relax, not yet and waited for the guards to drag him to his feet then down into the dungeon. He began thinkin of Jaemin and hoped with all of his might that Jaemin was and would stay safe. But the guards never came.

Instead his father dismissed him with an aloof wave of his hand. Renjun stumbled to his shaky knees, turning and hurrying back towards the doors, too desperate to escape to fully notice that Kun was never mentioned.

The doors parted with a quiet groan and Renjun instantly looked around to find Jaemin just outside of the doors, guards on each side of him that released his arms as soon as Renjun glanced at them.

Then a familiar figure shuffled into view, folding at the waist into a perfect ninety-degree bow, directed towards Renjun.

“It’s been a while, your honor. Please, allow me to show you to your corridors,” Lay said, slowly rising and offering a miniscule smile at Renjun. The servant looked older somehow, his cheeks more hollow and eyes less bright.

“Th-thank y-you,” he mumbled, shuffling over to Jaemin to lead his friend by the wrist back down the corridor. Renjun walked wordlessly to his room, too consumed by the realization that he hadn’t faced any form of punishment to try and make conversation. His father had strict methods of parenting and he’d gotten so used to the freedom and lightness that had filled his heart in the Earth Kingdom, that returning to the intense fear and terror made him sick. So he just walked in silence with Jaemin by his side until they reached his room and he bid Lay farewell.

“Thank you, Lay,” he murmured to the benevolent servant.

Lay smiled at him and nodded before turning and walking away. Renjun watched as the servant’s shadow melted out of sight and disappeared down the long hallway.

“Why do you call him Lay,” Jaemin asked curiously as Renjun stepped up to the door whose pattern would be eternally etched into his mind.

“Royal servants aren’t technically allowed to have an identity within the palace out of respect for the Fire Lord,” he explained monotonously, popping open the door. “But Kun always liked him in particular and I felt it necessary to have a proper way of addressing him after Kun left, even if it’s not his real name.”

Renjun lead the way into his room, parting the curtains in each room to allow the rising sunlight to stream into each chamber.

“Wow, you- you’re really rich,” Jaemin gasped as he looked around Renjun’s room, beginning to wander through the other few rooms linked to the sleeping chamber.

Renjun looked up and could feel all of his fears and anxieties temporarily eased in that moment. The look of awe and wonder in Jaemin’s eyes was so… oddly precious.

“Yeah, well, none of it’s my money,” he shrugged, walking across the huge room to the bed, sneaking glances at Jaemin’s huge eyes as he wandered back into the sleeping chamber.

“We have until dinner, what do you say we catch up on lost sleep,” Renjun offered, making his way over to his bed and flopping down, slipping under the duvet and letting his eyes slid shut.

“Sounds like a plan.” The earthbender, too disoriented and exhausted to not fall asleep in Renjun’s embrace, allowed himself this one moment of peace. His breathing slowed with Renjun’s and the two boys fell fast asleep, foreheads pressed together and hands holding the other close.

 

 

“You’re like almost my height, right?” Renjun had woken late into the afternoon and took a few precious moments to watch Jaemin as he slept, careful to not startle him when he woke the beautiful boy. They needed to get ready for the dinner and Renjun found himself sifting through his clothes, trying to find something to make Jaemin look presentable.

He was oddly calm. Maybe it had something to do with having Jaemin with him, not being utterly alone in the palace.

“I think,” Jaemin shrugged, wandering over to Renjun’s huge bed, lightly brushing the fabric that had been ruffled significantly from their slumber with his fingertips. “Do you normally sleep on this whole thing?”

Renjun rifled through several slightly different colored reds and chuckled. “I’m not big enough.” None of the robes were quite as elaborate as what he would normally wear to a banquet, but this was supposed to be only with his father, some of the highest generals and commanders in the military, and the closest advisors so he hoped something less formal would still be acceptable.

Finally, as Jaemin continued marveling at the treasures of his bedroom, he pulled out a long set of robes and laid them out on his bedspread carefully, to display all of the rich colors.

“Do you like this one?” He asked, gauging Jaemin’s reaction as the earthbender walked over to look over it.

“It- it’s fucking beautiful,” he breathed, reaching out to touch the soft fabric. But his hand recoiled and he stared at it like the robes had turned into a spitting, hissing snake. “I can’t wear something like that.”

Renjun rolled his eyes, not thinking too much of it. “Well first you should probably wash up, I’ll send someone in to help you with that if you need it,” he said, shoving Jaemin back into a huge side room where buckets and buckets of heated, soapy water sat around a huge tub.

“I’ll be fine, thanks.”

Renjun closed the door behind Jaemin and drifted back to his bed, collapsing onto the soft comforters. It was a comfortable kind of empty that rooted itself deep in his gut.

 

 

Renjun finished washing himself and had dressed in his beautiful red and maroon silks when Jaemin finished getting dressed.

And his jaw fell to the floor when Jaemin stepped out.

Jaemin’s black hair had been courteously colored a beautiful caramel color by one of Renjun’s servants and his skin was bright and clean, though still tanner than everyone else’s in the palace. His outfit was simpler than Renjun’s but the way he carried himself made him look like a part of the royal family,

“Y-you look good in red,” Renjun commented, walking over to Jaemin timidly. The earthbender seemed much taller than him in this setting and it threw Renjun off a bit.

“I always look good,” he joked, holding his hands out for Renjun to take. “And so do you.”

Renjun smiled microscopically and let his eyes fall down Jaemin’s whole body. “I like what they did with the hair, makes you look different,” he commented, carefully reaching up to play with a few stray strands. Jaemin’s hair had softened and become almost as smooth as Renjun’s, a stark contrast from how his hair had first looked and felt when they’d first met.

He let his hand slide down the side of Jaemin’s face and stepped forward a little more, bringing their bodies closer together. Jaemin’s skin was smooth and clean and soft to the touch which made caressing every inch of his body nearly irresistible for Renjun.

Arms unexpectedly wrapped around Renjun’s waist and Jaemin pulled him even closer until the tips of their noses brushed and their breaths mingled.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked the prince, voice low and breathy.

Renjun gazed back at the earthbender, trying to decide what was best for them. Ultimately, he pushed aside everything that had happened before and everything they’d said to each other to focus on what he felt deep down for Jaemin. A strong longing, a deep regard and dashes of bright joy stood out most prominently. Their fight didn’t matter, they’d put that aside before they’d boarded Zu.

And he thought, just maybe, they could start over when they’d rescued Kun and returned to the Earth Kingdom.

“Yes,” he breathed and closed his eyes, bracing for impact.

Jaemin’s lips touched his and Renjun instantly melted into the other boy’s arms. It was slow and careful but full of feeling and meaning that had only existed previously in short bursts. Jaemin tightened his grip with one hand and trailed the other up to cup Renjun’s jaw, tilting his head slightly to slot their lips together, like matching pieces in a puzzle.

Renjun could feel everything Jaemin was trying to convey through the kiss and did his best to reciprocate and give just as much. It felt like their first real kiss, and what could very well be their last.

But he pushed the notion aside and reached up to cup Jaemin’s face in his hands. He’d been so disoriented and stressed he’d forgotten about his feelings harbored in the depths of his heart for the charming, compassionate earthbender.

He pulled away first, admiring Jaemin’s entire face once more and wove his fingers through the silky hair.

“I needed that,” he murmured, leaning in to steal another sweet peck. Jaemin happily obliged, holding Renjun close even after they’d parted.

“So did I. Let’s focus on getting Kun safe and sound back to the Earth Kingdom and then we’ll deal with… us, sound okay?”

“Sounds wonderful,” he smiled, stepping out of Jaemin’s arms to straighten out his clothes and hair.

“Let’s not fuck up this time.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beads of sweat gathered along his hairline and rolled down his neck, pooling in his collarbones before spilling over his bare chest and back, soaking into his ragged pants. He surged forward with the blow of another jab from the butt end of a spear, straining against the shackles stretching his arms out to his sides, chained to the walls.

He wouldn’t break. He wouldn’t break.

But the courage and trust in himself was slowly fading.

All while his skin bruised and bled, the disgusting words spat at him tore into his mind.

“Disgrace. Renjun was always the better of you two.”

“No wonder your father hates you, you’re pathetic.”

“Can’t believe Renjun got stuck with someone like you, pitiful.”

He was slowly breaking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The walk was unbearable. All of the tranquility in his mind had vaporized and he was left with thought of dread and anxiety that consumed his mind as they were escorted by royal guards and servants to the dining hall. Normally, the room would be preening with aristocrats and representatives from the other three nations, which would always add to Renjun’s nervousness, but tonight it was just his closest advisors and generals, though he was still freaking out.

Grand doors parted to let them through and Jaemin gasped quietly as they stepped into the hall, taking in the luxurious space in it’s entrety.

Renjun had seen it and been in it plenty of times before, so the dazzling gold crawling up the pillars, carved to look like dragons and the crystal chandeliers that were suspended by sparling chains from the ceiling didn’t nearly pique his interest. But Jaemin’s wonderment amused him once more.

However the short lived joy was whisked away and he was left to approach his father, knees knocking and palms sweating. Cautiously, he his way to his usual seat where an extra place had been set, presumably for Jaemin. Plates of silver polished so brightly that one might admire their reflection were placed around, spaced perfectly evenly and matched with elegant, golden chalices for each place. Jaemin’s eyes widened and darted over the exquisite set while Renjun erased all traces of emotion on his face and prepared himself.

“Remember, ninety-degrees,” he whispered as they approached his father.

“Son,” his father greeted, chin lifted and eyes looking down over his nose. The air was thick.

Renjun slowly folded himself into a perfect bow and held the position until a quiet hum rumbled from his father’s chest.

He rolled his spine back up to stand perfectly straight, discreetly tapping Jaemin on the back to do the same, and took his seat.

“Son.”

Renjun’s head shot up and he fixed his eyes on the space in front of his father.

“Your mission. Did you learn anything?”

He took a shaky breath. “I learned the importance of blending into the surroundings, Father. I failed to do so initially but once I resembled an Earth Kingdom villager, it was easier to get around.”

“Mmm. Tell me more.”

He forced his knee to stop bouncing and focused on delivering his words as smoothly and clearly as possible. “I also learned how to adapt my fighting techniques to better fit the environment.”

“Mmm. And how well was your identity hidden?” He asked and Renjun could feel the heat of his gaze jump from him to Jaemin.

“Overall, nearly perfect. Three people knew of my true place in the Fire Nation.”

“Three? Who?”

His head spun. “J-Jaemin, Yuta and K-Kun…” He tripped over his brother’s name, a fresh wave of panic lifting him off his feet and throwing him into the deep end. Was Kun okay?

“Who?”

“Jaemin, Yuta and Kun.”

“Is this here Jaemin or Yuta?”

“J-Jaemin.”

“I didn’t catch that..”

“Jaemin,” he breathed shakily.

His father paused, like he was picking through Renjun’s thoughts. “I know you must be worried about your brother,” he said slowly, reaching out to stroke the golden goblet set before him. “You need not worry anymore, rest assured that he is alive.”

Alive. Bullshit. That guaranteed nothing about his well being, where he was and his mental state. He forced his shoulders to relax and kept his gaze on the space in front of his father.

“Although I must ask you, son,” he continued thoughtfully, “I only ever told you to bring him back. You could’ve brought him back dead, why didn’t you?”

His stomach lurched. He yet to eat a bite and already felt like he was about to vomit. That was a fucking twisted question. He was just about ready to stand up and leave the palace all together.

“Father, I could never kill my own brother.”

“Why though? He never did anything for you.”

Oh no.

“He never really cared about you, surely you could tell,” his father said, as if he was surprised that Renjun hadn’t drawn that conclusion himself. “He used you, Renjun.”

“He never used me,” he snapped, instantly regretting it when his father slammed the golden glass down onto the table, a fissure ruining it’s perfect image. “I’m sorry, Father.”

“Of course you are. Look at you, your brother has made you pathetically weak, just like himself,” he sniffed.

A warm hand slipped onto Renjun’s thigh, out of sight of his father, and gave a comforting pat. He exhaled unsteadily.

“You know, if you had killed him, you would be in line for the crown, my son,” his father continued, procuring another glass from the hands of a servant with the snap of his fingers. “Don’t you want that? To hold such significant power over thousands of other people’s lives? Be loved by all? Feel like you belong?”

“N-no, that’s n-not who I am…”

“I didn’t understand that, repeat yourself.”

“No, that’s not what I want.”

His father waited a moment before asking another question. “What do you want, Renjun? What do you want out of this life?”

He had no idea.

Simple things, he could live without the hundred room palace and dozens of servants and luxurious clothing. Simple things, like a wealth he’d earned himself. A place to call his home. Friends and family he could trust.

 _Jaemin_.

“I’m still thinking about that,” he confessed, pressing his lips into a thin line.

His father hummed quietly. He beckoned a servant over then and whispered something too quietly for Renjun to pick up on. The servant bowed and left the room.

The rest of the night dragged on. At some point his father got up and left, leaving the occasional officer to attempt a small conversation with Renjun, but nothing processed in his mind.

He feared what the morning would bring.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cell door groaned loudly and knocked against the wall as it opened, torch light washing the floor in the doorway and revealing the shadows of three men.

An annoyingly loud, steady ticking sound filled the room, like a bomb about to go off  

He clenched his jaw and steeled his nerves. But he was slowly breaking.

And they knew it. They could smell his doubt, his fear accumulating, weakening his mind further.

“Kun.”

He didn’t respond. He’d never respond to that voice again in his life, he’d promised himself that much. A hard jab in the ribs had him gasping for breath but he didn’t budge.

“I spoke with your brother. He’s enjoying a bountiful meal, don’t you wish to know what we talked about?”

No.

The ticking spread further through his mind.

 _Yes_.

“He said he hasn’t spared you a second of thought. Said you don’t matter. Renjun doesn’t care about you.”

That hurt. It cut deeper than anything else had and it caught him completely off guard.

But it wasn’t true. It wasn’t true. He ground the words into his head and forced the thought to absorb.

It wasn’t true.

Renjun loved him.

The ticking crescendoed to an almost unbearable volume.

“He never loved you. He hasn’t come to save you yet. He wanted to bring you back here, when he knew this was the last place you wanted to be,” his father growled, walking further into the room. “Of course I was the one who suggested it, but the fact that he nearly succeeded says many things about him. He’s more interested in chasing wealth and luxury than staying loyal to his own brother.”

He didn’t feel the blow this time. The breaking of his heart was much more prominent and overpowered everything else, even the disorienting noise of the ticking. He wasn’t in the right state of mind for this kind of conversation and everything his father said had a point.

Kun tried to push it away and snarled up at his father, daring to look him in the eyes and spit a weak stream of mixed orange and yellow fire at him.

The Fire Lord leapt back, baffled and entertained.

“You remember that day he betrayed you, right? How he left you down in the cellar, not even reacting to your cry for help,” he pressed, acting as if nothing had happened. “He watched you bleed and then simply retreated to his room, sleeping in the comfort of his bed and with the secure knowledge that the crown would be, and always had been, his.”

That night was a painful memory. He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting and fighting to stay strong.

But he was slowly breaking.

The cell echoed with words and a ticking noise that drove him insane for hours into the night. The Fire Lord was relentless.

The chained figure shuddered with silent sobs, tainted by the shadows of his past and doubt and hate.

“Renjun never loved you and is willing to kill you for the crown. Take back what’s rightfully yours,” he hissed into the ear of the prisoner.

Then the air changed. Heat rose and drew sweat from everybody in the cell.

The boy’s eyes opened. Glazed and unfocused but blazing brightly.

His fists out at his sides flexed and sparks spit from his knuckles until each fist was engulfed in bright blue flames.

The Fire Lord grinned wickedly. “Perfect.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

The prince rolled into his bed the moment he was freed from the sweat soaked robes and curled under the covers. His limbs were incredibly heavy and he struggled to keep his eyes open as he waited for Jaemin to join him. Something he’d eaten had definitely been off.

The mattress dipped beside him and a warm body pressed against him, soft lips brushing against his temple.

“Is it always like that with your father?” Jaemin murmured, rolling onto his side to gaze at Renjun’s face.

God he could barely find the voice to answer. “Mmm hmmm,” he hummed sleepily.

“I’ll kill him,” Jaemin vowed, voice firm with determination. “I’ll come back here when I’m stronger and make him pay for putting you through everything he did.”

The prince sighed, nodding weakly.

“How are we gonna get Kun?” Jaemin asked after a moment of silence passed.

Renjun’s brain was swamped with fatigue. He could barely process the question.

“Find him… in… the morning… find Johnny… and… Yuta…” He managed weakly.

“R-Renjun, are you okay? It’s not that late,” Jaemin wondered, pressing his hand against Renjun’s forehead. “No fever…”

“‘M fine,” he mumbled, rolling over and letting his eyes shut completely.

He was out like a light.

He never noticed Jaemin get up to relieve himself and never noticed his absence for the rest of the night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Let go of me!” He fought the guards with every muscle in his body. Jaemin threw himself, trying to escape from their grasp but it was pointless. They easily threw him into a cell, like a ragdoll, and slammed the gate shut, locking it with a resounding click.

“Fuck you!” He shouted after them, scrambling to his feet and slamming his fists against the bars. Renjun was going to be so worried to wake up to an empty bed.

“Jaemin?!” A familiar voice gasped.

He looked around. There was no one in the cell directly across from him.

He peered down the walkway and spotted a hand sticking out and waving to him from the next cell over.

“It’s me, Johnny!”

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Why the fuck was Johnny locked up?!

He scrambled over to the bars separating their cells from the sides and met the other earthbender face to face.

“W-what the fuck are you doing down here?” He breathed, reaching out and poking Johnny’s face to make sure he was real.

Johnny offered a shaky smile and shrugged. “I could ask you the same thing.”

He sighed, defeated and too tired to think, slumped against the cell, and leaned his head against the cool, rough bars. “I don’t even know… to think we might’ve been safe just for one night while in the devil’s home foolish…”

“Hey, I’m sure it’s not your fault,” Johnny said, managing to wiggle four of his fingers through the gap and jerkily stroke Jaemin’s hair. It calmed him but only slightly, though it was a little nice to know he wouldn’t have to spend the rest of the night alone.

“Maybe not… but… still feels like I failed,” he whispered.

_Save him._

“Hey, this isn’t the first time you’ve failed - oh, come on, don’t give me that look - you’ll find a way to get through it. You’re tough, I’ve always admired that about you, y’know,” Johnny grinned, eyes pooling with reassurance and encouragement.

He tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

Johnny gave a breathy chuckle. “I mean, you put up with my father for an unfair amount of time. You put up with me. You put up with everything even when it must’ve seemed like the world was against you,” he breathed. “I’m sorry I couldn’t have seen your struggle sooner. I’m sorry I made things even harder for you.”

Jaemin chuckled, playing with the hem of his nice pyjama shirt Renjun had lent him. God, he really hoped Renjun was okay. “All is forgiven, we said that before getting on Zu, remember?”

“Just needed to make sure you knew,” Johnny nodded.

He sat for a moment, thinking back to the ride on Zu. It had been so beautiful to see the world from a new angle, he’d never before thought about how the clouds would feel billowing over his face, nor how the landscape of the Earth Kingdom would’ve looked from so high up. And he was grateful he got to experience both.

Dread seeped into his stomach.

“W-where’s Y-Yuta?” He whispered quietly.

Johnny bit his lip and looked away. “I lost him. But the guards were hot on his heels when we got separated…”

His heart deflated. The air rushed from his lungs and he could only think about how Renjun would take the news.

“M-maybe he escaped…” Jaemin offered, reaching through the bars to give Johnny’s shoulder a light pat.

Silence.

“He was a good man, deserved much better than what he got,” Johnny murmured. “Wish I had known him better.”

Jaemin hung his head and let his eyes close, dedicating a moment of positive thought for the courageous, loyal, optimistic deserter. He’d harbored a suspicion of the older from the start, mainly due to the nature of their first encounter, and though he tended to dislike seeing Renjun alone with him, he accepted that he’d been a good addition to their team.

“Maybe he escaped,” Jaemin repeated, unsure of what else to say.

“Unlikely.”

The night passed slowly but they filled the desolate silence with conversation. They talked about what their futures would hold and what their dreams were, acting as if they weren’t being held in a cell with a knife ready to take their lives in an instant. They spent a good portion of the early morning talking about places they would like to visit and by the afternoon, after sporadic naps, had circled back around to what they wanted out of life.

“I always just wanted to feel like I was making a difference, y’know,” Jaemin shrugged, counting the cracks in the ceiling for the seventeenth time.

“You do, you make a difference in everyone’s lives that you touch,” Johnny reassured. “You made a difference in my miserable life. With Dad gone I had some quality time to work on my bending independently.”

Jaemin shook his head, chucking quietly. “Your bending was always perfect, your father was just picky.”

“Mmm, my bending was bad. I was just good at manipulating it to make it look better than it was.”

“Like your lock and key trick?” Jaemin smiled fondly at the memory of watching Johnny sneak out of his room when he got grounded by unlocking the door from the inside with a single metal rod.

Johnny frowned. “What trick?”

“Uh, you know, like how you used to open all doors with a metal stick,” Jaemin prompted.

“Trick? That wasn’t really a trick,” Johnny said, sitting up and holding the metal bars that separated them. “The key just kinda bent to my will. It just- here, like this.”

His knuckles whitened and his arms shook slightly with the effort but Jaemin’s jaw was on the floor as he watched the metal bars morph and warp at Johnny’s will. He parted the frame, twisting the metal around his hands and then realigned the bars, as if he hadn’t just bent them all out of whack.

“See, nothing to it,” he shrugged, sitting back down and looking over the dents and lumps he’d accidentally left. “It used to be really hard but I got plenty of practice,” he added, eyes flickering up to stare at the ceiling, becoming lost in thought.

Jaemin felt hope bubbling in his heart.

“Dude, bust us out,” he hissed.

It took Johnny an alarmingly long time to catch onto what Jaemin was saying but once he did the look on his face was priceless.

“Y-you’re right! Holy shit, you’re right!” He gasped, frozen with shock.

Jaemin blinked a few times before Johnny snapped out of his daze and clutched the metal bars facing the walkway with strong fists. The metal bended in his hands and the bars tore open with a loud rip.

Jaemin’s head whipped around, spotting for guards. Faint whispering and marching echoed through the stone dungeons. Shit.

“Hurry,” he hissed, eyes locked on the tunnel leading from the staircase where more and more sounds bounced off of the walls from.

“I’m trying,” Johnny hissed back, struggling to fit his broad shoulders through the gap. “Fuck it.” He pushed the metal bars completely apart, an even louder groan shooting into the tunnel and raising the urgency in the voices that drew nearer and nearer.

He squeezed through, just barely, and latched onto Jaemin’s cell, pulling with his whole body at the bars until they split open like a banana peel.

“Come on, come on, come on,” he rushed, snatching Johnny’s wrist and tearing down the hall. A few groggy groans from the prisoners adjacent to them chilled his skin but nothing scared him more than the significantly louder clanking ringing down the tunnels.

It was dark and muggy and the long, jagged shadows cast by the flickering torch lights were enough to send Jaemin crawling back to the corner of his cell. Their footsteps thumped and carried far down every tunnel leading in every direction, disorienting the poor boys as they struggled to guess which way to go.

But the shouts and clanks closed in, amplifying the rising panic in both of their chests and sending their hearts thundering against their chests.

Jaemin yanked Johnny down one way, blindly sprinting for any sign of an exit but was met with the worst possible scenario.

A dead end.

The clanking was impossible to think above and flashes of bright, moving lights caught on their bodies.

 _Kind of ironic,_  he thought bitterly, biting his lip but failing to contain the steaming tears that spilled over his cheek.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Renjun slowly felt his mind return and reconnect to his limbs. The feeling that something was terribly off washed over him instantly. For one, the bright sun was streaming through his curtains and washing his floor in a white glow. It was midday. He’d never slept that far into the day in his life.

Second, the bed was empty. He twisted around and threw an arm into the spot beside him. The bed was empty and cold.

Jaemin hadn’t been in the bed for the whole night.

He shot up, eyes wildly blinking around the room, searching for the other boy. Maybe he’d decided to sleep on the ground, since he was so used to it. Maybe he’d gotten up to relieve himself but gotten lost?

He quickly climbed out of bed and walked into his parlor, scanning the plush cushions and furniture for any sign of his friend.

“J-Jaemin?” He called, despite already knowing he wouldn’t get an answer. His throat tightened and his mind jumped to the worst possible conclusions.

He barely ate, even when Lay brought him food and tried to coax him to eat, but he could only think about if Jaemin was still alive.

Mulling over the past day’s events, his father hadn’t seemed intent on killing him. Perhaps dropping him back in the Earth Kingdom but he’d barely even spared Jaemin a glance. So maybe Jaemin wasn’t dead…

At some point Renjun got up and wandered outside, circling the courtyard and the duck pond. Dejavu, thick like smoke, tightened his chest and he watched as a little turtle duck waddled into his pathway, head bobbling unsurely.

He was tempted to simply kick it back into the pond and watch as it squawked and sploshed back into the water, just as he’d done before.

God, it felt like it had been ages ago and like he had known Jaemin for years. Everything felt surreal, almost too calm yet with an eerie tension. Like the calm before a hurricane. Slowly brewing for days, barely detectable through the bright rays of sunshine and clear, blue skies. Until it hits, lifting you off your feet and throwing you into space, with nothing to hold onto and nothing to fight back with.

Renjun stepped around the duck and felt a determination rising in his chest. His father was planning something and it was going to be big. He couldn’t leave, couldn’t risk dragging Jaemin any farther into it and had no news on Kun. But he could stand his ground and be prepared for when his father dropped the bomb.

 

 

It was in the late afternoon that he was summoned to the throne room.

Try as he might, he still failed to control the trembling in his fingers as he reached for the handle, letting himself in and bowing instantly, waiting for his father to speak first.

“Renjun, my son.”

The temperature rose and the fire glowed brighter.

“You were the best student there ever was to train under the grandmasters, they told me so themselves. You have proven yourself time and time again and despite your mistakes, you have always done well.”

He swallowed and closed his eyes, trying to figure it all out.

“I’m giving you this opportunity now, but never again.”

His blood ran cold.

“Pick your path: the throne, or the life of a peasant with that… peasant earth boy.”

Jaemin. He was talking about Jaemin.

_He has Jaemin._

Renjun’s head shot up and he glared into the cracking flames. “What did you do to Jaemin?”

“Watch your tone with me,” his father growled. Renjun shivered but didn’t look away. “He’s worthless to me, but seems to have such influence over you that you forget your manners,” he snorted, a mildly amused chuckle bouncing through the hall.

Renjun quickly ducked his head again at the sound but he was seething. “I don’t want a life that has anything to do with you,” he spat. “You treated Kun like shit and once you kill him off, I’ll become your puppet to play with whenever and however you want.”

His father didn’t speak for a full five minutes. It was terrifying. Renjun nervously pressed his dry lips together but didn’t move a muscle.

“Son,” his father said finally, but his voice boomed through the room differently, hitting walls in a different manner, one that suggested there was someone sitting next to him. “The floor is yours.”

Renjun dared to look up once more and watched as a silhouette stood from behind the flames and bowed to his father before turning and walking up to the fire, parting it with ease and leaving trailing blue sparks among the oranges and yellows.

The silhouette approached Renjun’s crouched figure and he gasped out loud when he recognized the face.

“K-Kun,” he breathed, straightening himself and getting to his feet in a rush. He looked into his brother’s eyes, noticing an odd sort of glaze clouding them, but went to hug him anyway.

“Ah!”

Kun’s fist smashed into his cheek, sending him stumbling to the side. The shock numbed the physical pain but it felt like he was falling apart from the inside.

“Renjun.” Kun’s voice had changed. Where soft folds and rounded corners had been, sharp angles and cutting edges replaced them. There was a darkness smoldering beneath his eyes too when Renjun looked closer. It made him tremble all over again.

“You took my life from me.” The words were direct and cut deep, opening old wounds infected with guilt that Renjun had done his best to stitch up and heal over the years. This time, when he bled out, the pain increased tenfold.

“You never once reciprocated my gestures of kindness and on the worst night of my life, you turned your back on me. You left me to _die,_  Renjun,” he bellowed, very out of character.

Blatant lies. But still he believed them. Seeing Kun as he was and hearing him say those things as he had, it was absolutely petrifying.

Renjun opened his mouth but only a hoarse squeak came out. His eyes stung and he’d shrunk in on himself, making Kun’s figure appear much more looming and towering than it really was. His blood pounded against his temples but he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

It was a misunderstanding. He couldn’t talk to Kun, his father had specifically ordered him not to.

_But in the end you still had a choice. Your father doesn’t control you or your actions, you must take full responsibility of them yourself._

“And now, it’s only fair you pay the price I would’ve if I hadn’t escaped. You stripped my honor from me when you chose to refuse to acknowledge me that night!” Kun screamed in his face, no tears, only anger boiling in his eyes. “You acted like i was nothing.”

Renjun’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as he tried to frantically get the Kun he knew back before he could say something they’d both regret in the future.

But he was paralyzed with fear of the pure hatred and rage in his brother’s eyes.

“I challenge you to an agni kai, fight to the death.”

The words hung in the static air of the huge throne room that suddenly felt a hundred times larger.

Renjun could barely breathe, could barely understand what he’d just heard.

His father sat in the back, watching with an unreadable expression. But there was the silent threat of instant death if he didn’t accept.

Renjun’s throat tightened and burned as he forced the words past his lips.

“I-I accept y-your challenge,” he wheezed, watching as a wicked smirk darkened Kun’s face. His brother turned away then and retreated back to the seat at their father’s side.

Renjun struggled to stay standing. To stay breathing, for that matter.

“You know the rules. Tonight at sundown, meet on the tallest tower,” his father said, dismissing Renjun with a careless wave.

He hadn’t prepared himself for anything like that.

Death? Specifically the death of his own brother on his conscience? He couldn’t do it.

What could his father want out of this? What was Kun’s motivation? What did his father do to Kun, hypnotize him? Did he have to fight to the death? Could he make a run for it, make a new name for himself and leave everything and everyone behind?

Wait… No.

Jaemin. Jaemin still needed him.

 

 

Renjun couldn’t focus for the rest of the day. Nothing stuck in his mind and everything flew by in blurs of color and snippets of conversation. Nothing seemed to matter.

He was nervous, actually, that was an understatement. But he wasn’t so worried about fighting Kun. They had drilled combat techniques and sequences together in the dead of night before, not that it had any importance at the moment, but it helped a little to recall the muddled memories.

No, he was confident that he could hold Kun off for long enough to maybe drain all of his energy and leave the kill easy and as painless as being burned alive could be. It was that part, killing his own brother, that really unsettled him.

He sould’ve paid more attention to the direction of the conversation from the night before and he beat himself up for it as he spent his day pacing around his room and trying not to cry over Jaemin and Kun.

By the time Lay had caught wind of the news, he was down in Renjun’s room with herbal tea and fragrances in hopes of calming the boy’s nerves. His efforts were futile, though appreciated as Renjun threw on some random garments and dug out a small towel, ruffling up his hair and made his way mindlessly up to the tallest tower with guards escorting him.

That was what he’d been able to accomplish with the time in the day. He’d reached the decision that it wouldn’t matter what happened or how it happened, but he was ready to die for Kun and would sooner die for him that kill him.

The climb was long and the old wooden walls were plain and left an uneasy feeling in the back of Renjun’s throat.

He ascended and finally found the huge platform atop the tower. The bright, fading sun was just about to hit the horizon and the wind rushed by strongly, billowing through his hair and cooling his bare chest and stomach. He no longer noticed the numerous white worms that crawled over his skin, nor the permanently damaged splotches of skin that littered his back.

None of it would matter son, because he was prepared to die for Kun.

“Renjun,” his father greeted from where he sat in the dead center of the rooftop. “May the best man win.”

They weren’t wasting any time it seemed.

Renjun took up a position on the opposite end of where Kun was crouched over, presumably meditating.

He could barely feel anything while he positioned himself, trying to focus his mind and pull everything from his training that he possibly could. He wasn’t going down without a fight, but he promised himself he wouldn’t drag it out for too long.

But movement shifted in the corner of his eye and Renjun found himself looking over to his father, who’d raised a single hand in the air. “One second,” his father’s voice carried on the dying wind.

Renjun could barely feel anything.

“Renjun,” his father began, pointedly looking at him, “I understand you have never killed someone before, nor died before, so I shall give you some incentive should you get the opportunity and you think of passing it up. You as well, Kun.”

From the hatch Renjun had just climbed out of, armed guards and a smaller figure between them stepped out onto the rooftop and Renjun’s heart was pulled in a million different directions.

He couldn’t control himself when he shouted for the other.

“Jaemin!”

Jaemin’s head lifted and he stopped fighting the guards momentarily, locking eyes with Renjun and forcing a lopsided smile.

But Renjun’s heart plummeted when he saw Johnny follow Jaemin, thick chains wrapped around his muscular arms. The guards lugged him over the rooftop, Johnny putting up almost no fight as he was sat behind Renjun, and Jaemin behind Kun.

Kun’s facial expression didn’t waver at the sight of Johnny, however Renjun detected a ray of light breaking through the dark pools of his eyes for just a second before it was gone. It was enough to give him hope.

“If either of you fail to kill the other given the opportunity, or fail todefend yourself properly,” through his father’s words a smile bled noticeably into them, “their blood is on your conscience.”

Shit.

“R-Rejun, what’s going on?” Jaemin called from the other end.

A guard whacked him over the head with the end of a spear and barked at him, glaring at Renjun. Renjun pressed his lips together and dropped his head, turning away from the center and crouched, focing all thoughts out of his mind.

“Let the duel begin!”

He stood instantly and lashed out with a powerful kick, sending a blazing stream of fire rocketing at his brother.

Kun was ready in an instant too and easily parted his attack with a steady hand.

Renjun’s eyes bulged out of his head and his jaw went slack when Kun threw his first punch.

Bright blue flames sprouted from his knuckles and Renjun was almost too shocked to dodge in time.

Blue fire. Kun was using blue fire. He’d thought it had been a trick on his eyes earlier that day when Kun’s sparks has been an odd blue. Blue fire was much hotter than the standard orange flame every other firebender was able to produce. In addition, the skill required a complete control of all emotion, which Kun must’ve achieved by extinguishing every emotion other than rage which fueled the fire’s flame to a bright, blue glow.

Kun didn’t miss a beat and hurled blade-like disks of fire through the air, blue flames sparking as they soared at Renjun. He barely dodged them in time, still struggling to get over the shock of his brother’s blue fire.

When Kun sprinted halfway across the rooftop and smashed his fist into the ground, shooting a snaking stream of fire over the rooftop and coiling towards Renjun, he’s recovered. He turned the energy of the attack right back around, unleashing with full force the very fire Kun had thrown at him, only the flames shifted back to their natural orange and yellow.

He was already breathing heavily and struggling to find proper openings and the duel had barely begun.

He took a deep breath. It was going to be one hard evening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jaemin could only watch and he hated it so much. The Fire Lord was right there and he could kill him with a stone to the head to make him pay for how he’d treated Renjun. Kun was even right there but so vicious and different from the Kun he’d met that had saved the village.

And then there was Renjun. His strong, beautiful Renjun, fighting his own brother and struggling against the sheer force of rage powering the flames that spit from Kun’s fists.

Jaemin looked frantically to Johnny.

Johnny was still but the subtle movement of the metal chains holding him was visible, even to Jaemin. Johnny caught his eye and flashed a small smirk.

A plan began to come together in his head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Renjun rolled out of the way of lashing fire whips that just barely grazed the skin on his back, making him wince.

Kun’s fire was much stronger and hotter than he had anticipated and it was draining to try to keep pace.

But he fought for his life, knowing someone else would lose theirs if he didn’t. With every ounce of strength he had he carried, he returned Kun’s blows with as much ferocity he could muster, all while mindfully aiming just a little off to prevent accidentally burning or killing his brother.

Death by fire was said to be extremely painful, as your skin was engulfed in the bright blaze, sizzling and searing every nerve and boiling your blood torturously for minutes until you were finally able to pass. He had no intention of inflicting that sort of end on anyone.

He soared through the air, conjuring tendrils of fire from his fingertips and let them spiral around his arms and unleashed his attack with a strong shove, aiming just to the right of Kun and giving him an opening to easily dodge.

He would never kill his own brother.

He landed a little too heavily, which gave Kun the fraction of the second he needed to launch an overpowering arc of blue flame that hit Renjun head on, knocking him back onto the ground.

“Renjun!”

He couldn’t even register Jaemin screaming his name. All he could see was Kun storming towards him, fists engulfed in sparking and spitting blue flames.

Weakly, he forced his hands up to shield his face and lessen the blow. Scorching pain poured over his skin and he bit back a cry as Kun unleashed all of the firepower left in him.

“Kun!” he screamed through tears that burned him just as much, the fire beginning to burn much more intensely. “Please!”

His brother relented and stepped back, staring down on his burned and bloodied figure. He was unrecognizable through the tears in Renjun’s eyes.

“Kun…” he breathed weakly, falling back and curling up. The pain began to fade and he could barely feel anything. This was how it ended for him. “I’m sorry.”

His nerves had been scorched and his heart was in shreds. But still, when he gazed up at his brother one last time, he felt no anger or hate. A silent tear fell down his cheek and he managed a broken smile. “I love you, Kun. You could never hurt me.” Then he let his eyes fall shut and the world faded with the last image flashing in his mind, blue flames shooting at him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jaemin screeched, the name ripping through his throat violently as he strained against his bonds, tears gathering in his eyes and beginning to pour down his cheeks.

“No! Please! Don’t kill him!” He cried helplessly, watching as Renjun’s body relaxed onto the ground, like he’d already given up and Kun’s flames swelling around his fist, preparing for the death blow.

Everything moved at a supersonic speed for the few minutes following.

Jaemin could only stare through his tears as Kun brought his blazing, blue fist up and aimed at Renjun’s head. But the firebender stared at his younger brother for a moment, as if that more human side of him had broken free, like Renjun had spoken to him.

There was a shift in Kun’s expression and the blue flames flashed a bright orange.

In the next second, Kun had slumped to the ground, hand falling onto the rooftop and setting the wood ablaze.

He knelt by Renjun’s figure and his entire body shook.

Time seemed to freeze as he mourned and Renjun struggled to stay alive.

But the moment ended. A sharp whistle cut through the air and Jaemin watched as an arrow flew, sinking into Kun’s leg and drawing a loud, pained cry from the fallen firebender.

Johnny broke free in an instant and charged at the guard who’d fired the arrow, ignoring how they all took aim at him, and tackled him to the ground, repeatedly pounding his fists into his skull.

“Johnny!” Jaemin cried, watching as the fire began to jump and wrap around other parts of the rooftop.

The Fire Lord stood, incredibly enraged, and glared over the chaos that was gradually unfolding. “The agni kai is not over, you must finish it,” he ordered, voice laced with venom.

But everyone ignored him and guards tried to talk him down desperately, gesturing to the staircase for them to exit by before the entire building collapsed from the rapidly growing fires.

Jaemin pulled at his chains and willed the metal to snap. He just needed to get to Renjun. If he got to Renjun, everything would work out, he was sure of it.

“Jaemin, go!” Johnny shouted above the scraping of swords and spears. Jaemin’s chains broke and he lurched forward, sprinting to Renjun and leaping over the growing flames to get to his huddled, unmoving figure.

He fell to his knees at Renjun’s side and coddled him, pressing his tear streaked face against Renjuns and sobbing into his skin.

“Renjun, Renjun I’ve got you, I’ll protect you,” he gasped, running his hands over the boy to rest on his chest, feeling for a heartbeat. He couldn’t feel one.

“P-please, d-don’t go…”

Silence.

“Jaemin…”

He sobbed, pulling away to look into Renjun’s half-lidded eyes and smiled shakily. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you Renjunie. Come on, we gotta get out of here, now.”

“No.”

Jaemin whipped around to face Kun who’d gotten to his feet.

“I have unfinished business.”

The craze in his eyes had cleared and he looked much more human. He lit up his fists, orange flames licking up his arms, and turned to the Fire Lord who was being lead away by guards who cleared the fire for him.

In strong, flowing waves and flourishes of his arms, Kun generated blazing flames that burned so brightly Jaemin could feel the heat rolling off in waves from a good distance away and couldn’t even imagine what getting burned by them must’ve felt like. With a strong punch, Kun extended two of his fingers, aimed directly at his father and the fire tore through the air, cracking and buzzing with bursts of blue.

Seconds before contact, the guards deflected the fire.

But long, twitching tendrils of lightning jumped from Kun’s fingertips and struck the surrounding guards and the Fire Lord himself. A loud cry left their lips as they fell to the ground, lightning encasing the Fire Lord’s convulsing, twitching, dying body.

Kun didn’t relent though and blasted everything he had and more until the Fire Lord’s burnt, flaming body ceased all movement.

Jaemin looked away as a flame sparked, burning his skin and he forced himself to focus on Renjun and Renjun only.

The boy’s eyes were fully open and he blinked, trying to take in the scene.

“J-Jaemin,” he breathed, “a-are we dead?”

“No, we’re alive, I’ve got you,” he whispered softly, struggling to prop Renjun up into a sitting position. “But the building is burning, we need to go now before we-”

A loud crash echoed across the rooftop and both boys turned to watch the guards set fire to their only exit, the staircase.

Jaemin’s blood froze and his stomach dropped.

“I guess we’re gonna die now then,” Renjun chuckled mirthlessly, failing to keep his tears at bay.

Jaemin hunted desperately through his mind for a solution, any solution. He should follow Johnny and Kun, but neither was visible through the now raging fire.

He swallowed back his own tears. Renjun was in no condition to save them from the torturous heat.

Jaemin sucked in a long, deep breath and rested his head against Renjun’s tangling his fingers in the firebender’s. A strange sort of quite settled over them, howling of the wind faded and the sounds of fire blazing undetectable. They’d die on the rooftop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unless…

He lifted his head, a new idea formulated in his head.

It was very risky. Renjun wouldn’t like it, he’d had to hide some aspects but it felt like the right thing to do.

Without a word, he stood, hauling Renjun to his own feet and skirted clumps of viciously burning flames.

“W-what are you doing?” Renjun asked but compliantly hobbled along when Jaemin didn’t answer him.

They came to the edge of the rooftop and he peeked over, felt his head spin. The ground was a very long ways away.

But he’d do anything for Renjun.

“Renjun.” His voice had changed. He spoke with an insecure kind of firmness and his words wavered, partially drowned out by the spitting and hissing fire creeping up behind them. “Look me in the eyes.”

The firebender turned his head, meeting Jaemin’s pain soaked gaze and stared intently. Renjun’s gaze seemed to shift as Jaemin pieced his words together in his mind, like he’d caught onto the earthbender’s plan.

“J-Jaemin,” he stuttered, bringing a hand up to hold the side of his face, stroking a tender thumb over a glistening tear. “W-whatever you’re thinking, p-please, d-don’t, just let us die up here together.”

Jaemin steeled his nerves and gently removed Renjun’s hand from his face. Flames brushed the back of his legs and he hissed, taking Renjun’s hand in his instead.

“I love you.”

The words seemed drowned out by the sound fire consuming the entire building but Renjun nodded quickly, eyes round and cheeks tinted a soft pink.

“I-I love you too,” he croaked, fresh tracks winding down his face as he spoke.

Jaemin let his eyes close for a second as he felt everything. The unbearable heat slamming into him from behind. Renjun’s sweaty and comforting hand in his. The howl of the wind that had returned to his ears and had picked up. The sun, nearly completely sunk beneath the horizon, illuminating the skyline of the Fire Nation before them just as brightly as the fire behind them.

He opened his eyes finally and stared directly into Renjun’s burning orbs, savoring every detail of his face. He felt complete. He felt at peace and ready for the next and final step.

“Do you trust me?”

“O-of c-course.”

“Then jump.”

They tipped over the edge and Jaemin immediately wrapped himself around Renjun, twisting as best he could in the air so he was cradling the firebender in his embrace, his back facing downwards as they plummeted, falling away from the collapsing tower.

He never felt the impact but in the next second, everything melted away and like the velvety, delicate petal of a fire lily, silence settled over his world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you didn't cry :)
> 
> i'm gonna (try to) link a [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3OBt1wGWC0DNwpgUEEtHQ2) with all of the character songs and 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 so i really hope you give it a peak bc *cough* many many teasers for what i've got planned :D
> 
> [character aesthetics](https://twitter.com/jumping_jxx/status/1081326989691310080?s=20) will be updated as well with new characters, just a heads up ^^
> 
>  
> 
> 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 - Demi Lovato // 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐞 - Phillip Phillips
> 
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 - Mumford and Sons // 𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬 - Imagine Dragons
> 
> 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 - Bebe Rexha and Martin Garrix // 𝐅𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 - Rachel Platten
> 
> 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐞 - Katy Perry
> 
> 𝐈 𝐖𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐔𝐩 - Jason Mraz // 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐞 - Phillip Phillips
> 
> ((you’ve already met two new characters from the last two chapters lol but i’ll put One of their songs here even though you won’t seem him again for a while lol))  
> 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 - Christina Peri


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm scared to say goodbye 'cause what's after that?  
> I don't know  
> And as the years slip past us  
> If we lose track or lose the fight  
> I will search forever to find a way back  
> To tonight  
> Where it's just you and me and honestly  
> That's everything I need
> 
> Don’t want an ending...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i’ll update the tags but the ending is Kinda Sadder Than I Had Wanted It To Be i’m so sorry to all of you who deserved better ;;;

He’d seen the fire. He’d been expecting a lot of damage, but not what he came across. He definitely should’ve been far, far away, never having anything to do with anyone ever again. He’d failed them after all, right?

But something, a string tied from their hearts to his, pulled him back. Because they were all he had left.

And seeing them as he did was devastating. It crushed him and he wanted to cry until he vomited.

Two boys, lying in each other’s arms, faces smeared nearly beyond recognition with charcoal and ashes and burns, tear streaks through the grime still visible.

The earth had unnaturally cradled them, caving inward to cushin what must’ve been a bone shattering impact.

The string on his heart tugged hard and he fell to his knees by their side, watery eyes fixed on their young, sweet, innocent faces.

 

 

A twitch.

Barely detectable. But it was there. Or so it seemed…?

 

“Oh my god,” he gasped, reaching out and shakily tapping against the boy’s cheek. He needed to confirm his suspicions and tried not to let the flicker of hope grow into anything more than a passing thought. What was left of the tower, a smoldering, blackened skeleton, still stood fairly tall. A fall from what must’ve been the top would’ve definitely killed a person on impact.

His eyes twitched, more noticeably this time and he gasped again, stepping back to look over the scene again.

Renjun, cradled in Jaemin’s arms. Jaemin, who’d taken the majority of the impact from the fall. For Renjun.

He’d sacrificed himself for Renjun.

The thought was bitter and acidic in the back of his throat. He longed for someone, anyone, to do the same for him.

But there were more important things to do than dream of the impossible.

It took a while, but he pulled Renjun’s body from Jaemin’s, uneasily peeling the cold, clammy fingers from the firebender’s body, and, with the utmost care, hoisted Renjun to rest in his arms.

He’d return for Jaemin, if only to give his body a proper burial.

And so he went back into the dense forest. Being in any open space for him was dangerous, hell, he was literally a traitor to his nation. But that didn’t matter too much. There was life in Renjun’s body and he was going to do everything in his power to save him. It was the kind of person he and his family were. At least, the kind of person he liked to think of himself as.

He’d been hiding out just in a tiny alcove formed by a rock structure a good ways into the trees and set Renjun down, running back to get to Jaemin before the authorities did.

It was extremely late by the time he made it back to the ruins, or perhaps extremely early in the morning. But either way, the moon was nothing but a sliver in the sky, granting him the cover of darkness and he snuck about, circumventing the area just to double check for guards.

When he returned to the shadow of Jaemin’s body, he detected sounds. There was more movement too and he froze, dropping to his stomach and pressing himself against the ground to hide himself as he waited for the voices to leave.

But they didn’t. They became louder. And as they grew louder, he could distinguish two different voices and eventually two different shadows poking around the rubble.

He crawled forward, keeping his body flush against the rough stone, but picked his head up to try and make the two people out.

Not guards. They wore no helmets and they didn’t carry weapons of any kind.

He crept forward, closer still.

Someone was crying.

Someone else was still talking.

A shadow slumped to the their knees and buried their face in their hands, muffled sobs wracking their entire body.

The second shadow engulfed the smaller in a hug, holding them close together.

He looked away and began crawling back towards Jaemin. Perhaps hardcore patriots who mourned the loss of a tower of the royal palace.

He made it to the boy, unnoticed by the other two, got to his knees and placed his hand over the boy’s face, brushing off the gravel and soot.

He looked almost peaceful. There was an unusual glow about his eyes, though it must’ve been the moonlight bouncing off of them at a weird angle.

Yuta let his hand move down and reposition the boy’s stiff arms to his sides, careful to not move any possibly shattered bones.

He was strangely numb to it. He’d experienced so many deaths while stationed in the Earth Kingdom, he hated how he didn’t feel the urge to shed even a single tear at the sight of a dead body anymore. He used to cry so hard after a raid they’d launch on a village of innocent farmers. Now, even though it was Jaemin, he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything.

He finished laying Jaemin out, simply to make it seem like he was asleep on the ground, bathed in moonlight, rather than having just plummeted to his death. He leaned down to Jaemin’s face again and brought a hand up, pressing gently into the space between Jaemin’s ash encrusted eyebrows with the pad of his thumb, then against Jaemin’s lips, and then his heart. A small gesture that the tribe he’d been taking into used specifically to honor a deeply respected individual. Someone who’d served their life very well and courageously.

He looked back up at Jaemin’s face. The night air was chilly but a faint, weak warm brush of air over his cheek made him lean closer, squinting at Jaemin’s eyes. They were half open and shining very brightly even in the pale moonlight so Yuta gently shut his eyelids.

The warmth ghosted over his hand once more and cautiously, he placed his hand against Jaemin’s lips.

And he felt it again.

Jaemin was, unmistakably, still breathing.

His heart fluttered with hope and he quickly felt down the boy’s arms, checking for broken bones that could get misaligned when he lifted the fallen eartbender.

Not a fragment out of place.

Then the voices returned, one distinctly more wet with tears than the other which was gravely and dead.

“Wh-what are you d-doing?” Presumably the one who’d been sobbing asked him.

He turned, letting the moonlight catch his face and squinted into the shadows.

“I- n-nothing, please, just, let me take his body,” he said, getting to his feet quickly and blocking them from Jaemin’s body.

God, he might be able to save Jaemin. It was unreal. Maybe he could redeem himself now.

There was a light gasp from both figures as he stood and they rushed forward simultaneously, crashing into him, their arms catching him in a lung collapsing hug.

“Yuta,” Johnny breathed, repeatedly patting over Yuta’s neck and back, unsure of the man in front of him was real. “Oh my god I thought they’d killed you…”

“Yuta,” Kun sobbed into his shoulder, clutching the fabric draped over his shoulder and soaking his skin with salty tears.

“Fuck, we didn’t think there was another survivor,” he blubbered, voice pitched with a bittersweet tone.

Yuta was too shocked to move and his voice became hoarse. It had been a long time since someone had hugged him properly. “J-Johnny, th-they didn’t kill you?”

Johnny pulled his head back, looking over Yuta’s face with watery eyes and shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t know, they- they used me against K-Kun b-but we’re okay now. Fuck, at least we have you now…” He fell back against Yuta and took long, deep breaths while Kun tried to recompose himself.

He swallowed, trying to think of the best way to put his thoughts into words. “What are you two doing here? Shouldn’t you be as far from the castle as possible?” He asked Kun, squeezing the other firebender tightly.

“We- we came to look for Renjun and Jaemin’s bodies after they didn’t make it down the stairs,” he said, breaking down all over again at the mention of his brother. He collapsed to the ground, loud and uncontrolled cries ringing in the night. “Fuck, I killed my own brother.”

Yuta’s head spun. Kun had tried to do what?? Had he mistaken the body he’d brought back as Renjun’s?

“But- but look,” he said turning and pointing at Jaemin’s body. “They’re- they- they’re here…”

Johnny’s eyes darted over to where Jaemin lay behind Yuta and he gasped, hand flying up to cover his open mouth. Kun’s reaction followed, almost identical to Johnny’s, though his tears and cries were just amplified.

“He’s dead,” Kun whispered, looking away. “I killed my brother and his friend…”

Yuta sucked in a deep breath. “He’s not. And your brother is alive. But we need to get them immediate medical treatment or they won’t be for much longer.”

The cry of joy from Kun made Yuta feel content and the hug from Johnny crushed his chest but made him feel a little less alone.

 

 

 

 

It took weeks until Renjun had healed completely and more on top of that before he was able to hold a proper conversation with someone without shutting down. The recovery was painful and difficult and he jumped every time Kun’s name was mentioned. But he was getting through it with the help of Lay, Yuta and of course Jaemin.

It had been absolutely exhilarating to wake up and first see Jaemin’s smiling face beaming down on him when he’d returned to the world. He’d captured the earthbender’s lips in a quick, overjoyed kiss and laughed until he cried, hugging Jaemin close. Truly one of the best moments of his life. Though they never properly addressed the… thing between them…

Jaemin’s recovery was abnormally fast, for someone who fell several stories and should’ve died. But the healers has explained that it must’ve been the way that Jaemin had landed that caused the ground to miss all deadly points of contact. Hell, he’d suffered at worst a few fractures in his legs and arms but his neck, spine and head had survived the fall. Renjun tried not to think about it too much, worried that if he did Jaemin’s entire skeleton would suddenly just shatter and he’d die right in front of him.

Johnny stuck around sometimes but could almost always be found helping Kun in every way possible. He cuddled Kun to sleep, held him through his nightmares, kept his spirits as high as he could and helped him to prepare for the role of Fire Lord.

Kun was doing his best in every sense. He avoided Renjun, for both of their sakes, but monitored him closely through Yuta and Jaemin, both of who rarely left his bedside. He’d healed from the agni kai and the torture session but his mind was still far from okay.

The impending pressure of Fire Lord at such a young age on top of the trauma he suffered from nearly killing his brother and actually killing his father strained every part of him. Sometimes it became too hard to handle that he locked himself away in his room, with Johnny’s arms around him, and just cried for hours until he fell asleep.

It must’ve been close to six weeks since the big battle and Jaemin was sitting next to Renjun in his bed, arm draped over the firebender’s shoulder and fingers tracing the high points of his face when he realized for the first time that something wasn’t quite right.

His touch was light as a feather and just as tender as ever. But Jaemin was off. He was hiding something. Renjun could tell, even in his still disoriented state.

So he took Jaemin’s hand into his and squeezed gently. “What’s wrong? Are you tired?”

Jaemin shrugged. “Don’t worry about me. Just… rest. Don’t worry about me.”

He let it slide but as he watched Jaemin for the following few weeks it became obvious that there was something seriously bothering him. When he tried to bring it up again, he was shut down rather harshly but let it slide once more. Kun was finally talking to him again and he had many other things occupying the space in his mind.

Their first time seeing each other after the agni kai was in Renjun’s room and Kun had finally worked up the courage to visit him. It had been so hard for them both and though Renjun knew Kun never really meant to hurt him, but the scars were only just starting to fully heal and would mar his arms for the rest of his life.

When they hadn’t been crying in their own separate spaces, they were crying in each other’s arms, and when they weren’t doing that they were sound asleep together, and if they weren’t, they were just talking in quiet, timid whispers.

It had been nearly a month since Jaemin had begun acting off and Renjun was up and walking around again, with the help of a walking stick, and carrying out tasks for Kun who was doing his best to prepare for a his coronation. The Fire Nation would not know the cause of the Fire Lord’s death, only that a tower caught fire and he became trapped by the smoke. Nor would they ever know of the nightmares that had played through behind those walls.

So Renjun had very little time to properly pay attention to Jaemin. The things he did pick up on - skipping meals, wearing his old, dirty clothes, avoiding servants and spending all the time he could outside of the palace - he dismissed as unimportant idiosyncrasies, as he’d never properly lived with Jaemin. But by the time that he realized there was more to it, it was too late.

Jaemin was homesick. He was lonely, irritable, restless and sad.

“Jaemin, please, just tell me what’s on your mind,” Renjun murmured, shifting closer to the earthbender under the covers and resting his head next to Jaemin’s. It hurt like a dagger through the heart when Jaemin’s only response was a low grunt.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Jaemin, that’s my job, you mean more than anything to me…”

Jaemin took a deep breath that vaguely sounded like a growl. “I think I should go back to the kingdom.”

Renjun frowned. “You’re homesick? You could’ve said something and we could take a break from everything, just tell me and-”

“You don’t /get/ it Renjun,” Jaemin huffed, pulling away from his touch. He looked away. “It’s best for you if I go back. For us.”

The dagger twisted mercilessly through his heart.

“Don’t you want to stay though…?” He asked quietly, hurt creeping into his voice.

Jaemin pursed his lips and turned to look back at Renjun, sighing loudly. “Listen… I just… feel like you won’t have time for me, for us, once you’re all prince-y again and just… with you as a new you and me as… same me… I think our time has run out.”

Renjun’s heart squeezed painfully in his chest. It made sense. And he hated it.

He wanted to show Jaemin his world, just as Jaemin had shown him his. He wanted to be able to hold a hand while strolling through the courtyards. He longed to be able to crawl into bed next to a warm body that he could hold. He wished so hard to be able to move on with his life and focus on something that wasn’t training and studying.

And yet, he couldn’t force Jaemin to stay. He wanted what was best for Jaemin, and if this is what he’d wanted, who was he to say no?

He’d still move onto a new chapter of his life, but Jaemin wouldn’t be a part of it.

He lay unmovingly and silently for what felt like hours, talking himself down.

“Okay…” he whispered finally. “I’m sorry I’m not who you thought I was.” He turned over and forced himself to sleep, never hearing or knowing if Jaemin had replied after that.

 

Their goodbye was bittersweet. Kun had confided in Renjun just a day before that Johnny had actually been talking with Yuta and Jaemin and they all collectively felt too out of place in the palace. They all longed for their home back in the Earth Kingdom, which Kun respected and tried his best to hold back his tears.

Renjun arranged for an aircraft to transport them back, exactly at the edge of the forest of Johnny’s treehouse and a special stop in Ba Sing Se for Yuta who wished to travel more.

Renjun kissed Jaemin on the cheek before the earthbender boarded, new, bright green robes shimmering in the sun and smile brilliant. He carried a brand new bag, stocked with rations and weaponry and money so he could live comfortably until he found a job or some way of supporting himself.

Johnny hugged Kun tightly, kissing him on the temple quickly and walked onto the aircraft, reaching up to his eyes and never looking back.

And just like that, they were gone.

Renjun stared after the departed airship for hours after, thinking of and wishing for a different ending.

But he’d sent with them a messenger hawk, capable of bringing any message back to the palace from anywhere, should they need to come in contact again before they met by chance in the vast world.

And though his heart broke a little, he trusted he’d meet Jaemin again. In all honesty, deep down, it felt like this had just been the beginning of something big.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for making it this far wahhh!! i never would've thought this "one shot" would grow into such a Long thing but i'm so glad that it did because i got to meet all of you wonderful readers and have so much fun bringing this world to life in my own way.
> 
> special thanks to everyone who keeps coming back, keeps commenting and helped me throughout this journey. 
> 
> i'm very proud to tell you all that Renjun's feeling is indeed correct, this will become a series though i have no idea how long it will actually turn out BUT we're in this together :D
> 
> teaser next chapter ;)
> 
>  
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3OBt1wGWC0DNwpgUEEtHQ2)
> 
>  
> 
> [character aesthetics](https://twitter.com/jumping_jxx/status/1081326989691310080?s=20)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> R***** F*** A****
> 
> “He gazed with round, wonderfilled eyes at the spectacle before him and the biggest smile that reached from ear to ear. It was so exhilarating and extraordinary, he got lost in the moment. And for the first time in his life, he felt like he belonged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you guess who? ;)

Beads of sweat trickled down the burning skin of his back, as they rolled down ceaselessly until they pooled at the dip in his lower back. His lungs heaved and burned no matter how much are he sucked in as he sprinted for his life. The strain in his legs was so numbing it felt like his feet never hit the ground yet the heavy pouches concealed beneath his clothes still jingled with every step.

The shouts of the guards were ever persistent but he had a big advantage on these guys, no matter how tired he was or how many weapons they brought. He knew how to get around.

He shoved aside a woman cradling a basket of bread to her side, swiping a fat loaf for himself without slowing and shoved it into the folds of his shirt. He skidded around a corner, back to sprinting at full speed instantly after he rounded the bend. The narrow street was less crowded (it had never been crowded in all the years he’d been scuttling around) so it made getting to the rooftop a lot quicker and simpler.

With a great push, he lunged as high as possible at the wall, fingers latching onto a windosill. He pushed off of the wall the second his feet made contact with the stone building and flipped off, landing against the opposite wall of the street and leapt off of that wall, rolling over his shoulder onto the rooftop and taking off running again in no time.

The slate roofing clacked loudly under his feet with each push off of the ground, tiring him further. The summer heat was stifling as it was, but running at the speed he was made it ten times worse. Sweat now completely drenched his body and his soaked clothes stuck uncomfortably to his torso. But people were merciless and he had to do everything he could in his power to survive.

He heard the whiz of the arrow before he felt the air rush by his ear, causing him to drop and slide down the slanted portion, zooming right off of the roof and landing on the ground of a darker alley, picking his speed right back up without a moment of hesitation.

The shouts were more distant now but he couldn’t take any risks. The alley had been abandoned for as long as he’d known. He pulled a oil filled sack of animal skin, a thin piece of twine to cinch opening and with a flick of his finger, he lit the loose end of twine and turned, running backwards and chucking the bomb as far as possible. He waited just for a heartbeat to watch it land somewhere at the entrance of the alley where a soldier rounded the corner just as it exploded, filling the entryway with an impassable wall of fire and smoke.

He took the opportunity to push open the secret hatch in the wall and slip through, sprinting still until he reached the hidden stairway leading into the underground.

Just another day in the life... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE YOU ALL AND THE NEXT PART OF THIS SEIRES WILL BE RELEASED AS A ONE SHOT-Y THING BUT WITH T W O CHAPTERS(hopefully...)!! i'll update this to let y'all know when it's out in case you miss it *mwah* 
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3OBt1wGWC0DNwpgUEEtHQ2)
> 
> [UPDATED CHARACTER AESTHETICS](https://twitter.com/jumping_jxx/status/1081326989691310080?s=20)
> 
>  
> 
> for now, jax, over and out~

**Author's Note:**

> give me feedback and leave your thoughts


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